


Forced Separation

by When_time_stands_still



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/F, F/M, Forced Marriage, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 63,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9627659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/When_time_stands_still/pseuds/When_time_stands_still
Summary: 'I'd rather jump from the bridge than to become your wife' Even hearing his name – Killian - made her sick. Every day breathing became harder. Every day Emma Swan died a little more. She glanced down the bridge. If she couldn't be with the love of her live, she didn't want to live at all. SQ!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Once upon a time or any recognizable characters.
> 
> A/N: So, I did it. I really did it, holy crap :D  
> I started - or tried at least - writing in English. And, surprise surprise, it's a Swanqueen. Well, to be honest, it's an old story of mine, which I wrote in German once. So I tried to edit a part. What do you think about it? Worth a shot?
> 
> A/N2: Please don't judge me, English is actually my third language, so please try and ignore the mistakes. If I'm really going to do this, I could probably use a Beta reader. PM me, if you know someone, who would do it!
> 
> This is an AU, set in Storybrooke with slightly magic. I really hope you'll enjoy the story. Feel free to give me feedback, let me know what you think, please! I'm a writer, I live from reviews and followers :D

„Emma, come on, wake up," her mother yelled.

Ugh, she hated Saturdays. There were barely time to breath during the week – thanks to all the school stuff – and not even on the weekends she could relax in peace. Emma put her head under her pillow and tried to sleep. Just a few seconds later, however, she heard the door of her room open. Then, a breath later, her mother jerked her blanket away. Hugging her knees to her chest, the blonde narrowed her green eyes – damn light!

"Mom, please, just a little more," she begged.  
"No, get up, now. Your uncle is coming over," Mary Margaret didn't let go.

Blinking, she opened her eyes. "Uncle James?" Emma asked. She nodded, smiled, and then left my room. Well, at least none of my stepfather's family, Emma thought. Uncle James was the twin brother of her Dad, who had passed away a long time ago. He had his own farm, was happily married and had two charming little sons. The blonde loved spending time with her uncle, even though, he reminded her so much of her Dad.

Emma got up and dragged her tired body into the bath, then tied her long blond hair into a pony tail and washed her face. Back in her room she slipped in a pair of pants and a tank top. She rarely applied make-up, like the other girls in Storybrooke did. She didn't find it necessary. The blonde was glad to have a pimple free face with her 18 years. And that was enough for her.

Of course, her mother thought she didn't need any make-up. For her, Emma was the most beautiful girl in the entire Kingdom, Storybrooke included. Typical mothers. Even though, Emma was a casual girl, she had the same dream like almost any other girl – a white wedding and a loving spouse.

Once she was downstairs in the kitchen, eating breakfast, her younger stepbrother Bae sat beside her and stared at her like an idiot.

"What do you want?" she asked annoyed.  
"Where were you yesterday after school?"  
"None of your business," she snapped.  
"I'll tell Dad you have a boyfriend."  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" the blonde hissed angrily.  
"I've seen you, with this stable boy," he laughed.

Emma was fuming. She went up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "You little shit, that's Ruby's boyfriend. And he's not a stable boy, he works for Queen Cora. Grow up and mind your own business." Her voice was low, she didn't want Robert, her stepfather, to overhear the conversation.

What the hell was he thinking? He was a kid, a 14 year old stupid kid. And it seemed like all he wanted to do, was making her look as bad as possibly in Papa's eyes. With success, Emma thought, clenching her teeth. Bae was her enemy. Funny way to think of her brother, she knew that. But the way he acted, the way he tried to hurt her. That's the way an enemy would treat you, not your own brother.

Bae pushed Emma's hand aside and lifted his finger. "I'm watching you."

She almost laughed out loud and sat down again. How ridiculous! "How about you find some friends, instead of gossiping around, you idiot. And I mean real friends, not your Ps4 online buddies."

"Shut up!" he hissed.  
"Or what? You're going to hit me?" Now the blonde just couldn't hold back that laugh.

"What's going on here?" a voice interrupted them. Emma raised here head and saw Neal standing at the doorway.

"Good morning, brother," she beamed happily.

"Morning, Princess," he replied, kissing her head. Her big brother, who was also her best friend. Emma loved him deeply, he was simply the best. With him, the blonde was able to talk about everything without fear that Papa might find out. He was 21 and would marry in three months.

"Emma has a boyfriend!" Bae said proud. He was beaming, as if he had shared a states secret. Emma's hands curled into fists but Neal held her back.

"So what?" Neal growled angrily. Bae's eyes grew wide. He couldn't believe that Neal was defending her. He stared at his big brother, as if he had lost his mind. "Leave," Neal said.

"But –", he started, but Neal cut him off.

"Out!" Bea stood up, and was already at the door, when Neal shouted out. "Oh, one more thing. You better keep your mouth shut. Not a word to Papa, understood?" Hate glistened in Bae's eyes as he glanced at his sister. Emma, on the other hand, couldn't hide her shit eating grin. His jaw muscles tensed, before he nodded and turned around without saying another word.

"He's so cocky," the blonde said to Neal, while she grabbed another plate and put it before him. She filled it with cereal and milk, and took her seat next to him. Neal reached immediately for the spoon and began eating. He was always hungry and could eat so much. Like, really much.

"I don't understand", Emma said. Neal looked up, spoon in his mouth. The blonde laughed. "I really don't understand, how the heck you're not fat? How do you do that?" Neal finished his plate, leaned back and smirked. "It's magic", he said.

"What? You know very well, that magic isn't allowed in Storybrooke." In fact, it was illegal. Doing magic in Storybrooke was classified as a crime. He knew that. Everyone knew that. The portals to the enchanted forest were guarded, one couldn't just go through them. Besides, there weren't that much people here, who could actually do magic. The nuns, the creepy Miss Z, and Mr. Gold – her stepfather.

"Calm down, Emma", Neal laughed. "I was kidding." The blonde scowled and punched him in the shoulder. "Ow!" A pout replaced his grin, and he held his hands up in mock surrender. "I know, I know, it's not funny. I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Neal grabbed the cereal and filled his plate – again. Emma looked at him as she shook her head in amusement. Ah, there it was, the grin, back on his face. "Gym. A lot of Gym", he said, mouth full, and very pleased with himself. "So?" he asked, when he finally seemed full.

"What?" Emma was texting with Ruby, they wanted to meet with Lily at Granny's – the best Diner in town. Well, there weren't that much options. But she loved the grilled cheese and her hot cacao with cinnamon. Ruby and Lily were her best friends, she knew them her entire life.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. Emma stopped typing and glanced at her brother. Then she laughed. Neal flinched, looking confused. "What? What's so funny?"

"Are you serious? There's no one who would be with me … voluntary," Emma replied, still laughing. Now it was Neal's turn slapping her shoulder.

"That's bullshit and you know it, Emma. You're a natural beauty, not like these girls with 5 layers of make-up. Everyone would be proud to have you," Neal said.

"Ugh, how mushy," Emma teased. Yet, she was very grateful for his words.

The following hours passed quickly. After lunch, they all found themselves in the big living room. Emma had a great time. She'd missed her uncle, and felt a painful ache in her chest, as she sat beside him. The blonde was only four, an innocent child, when her world began to crumble. One day her Dad, David, didn't came home from work. Work accident, they had said, as if a four year old was supposed to understand that. She didn't. Even now, after all this time, she never understood. A Sherriff couldn't just fall dead, could he? Heart attack, a frigging heart attack. He was 32 back then, for God's sake!

Emma tried to push the thoughts away, and focused on the conversation. Drinking tea, and chatting with her uncle, soon a sigh of contentment escaped the blonde's throat. Then, her phone vibrated – loudly. She took it from her pocket, Lily had texted her. While Emma read the message, she felt Papa's gaze on her.

"What's going on?" he wanted to know.

Emma swallowed hard. Her brain searched furiously for an answer. "It's a friend, we're supposed to learn together. She's waiting for me," Emma lied. She didn't even know why she choose to lie. Her gaze wandered back to the message: 'Granny's, now! Deadly important!' Emma stood up and apologized to her uncle.

"Where do you think you're going?" Robert asked.  
"I just said that-".  
"Your uncle is here, and you just want to leave?" he asked angrily.

"Let her go, Robert", James interrupted. "I was leaving anyway. I've promised the boys a trip to the woods." As Emma shot him a grateful look, he winked and smiled at her. She ignored Papa's furious expression and went off. As she slipped into her shoes in the hallway, Neal came and handed her his car keys. Her face lit up.

"Eager now, are we?" Neal laughed. Emma shrugged but couldn't hide her smile. "Be careful, rookie."

Just a few minutes later she parked in front of Granny's and hopped out of the car. She ran the short distance to the diner and headed straight to the booth, as she spotted Ruby and Lily sitting there. "What happened?" Emma asked, completely out of breath.

"She didn't want to talk until you were here, too," Ruby muttered.

Lily head was titled towards her lap, eyes shut. She said nothing. "Lil, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" The blonde asked. She was lost, and had no idea what was happening right now. She threw a worried look at Ruby, who shrugged. Lily finally raised her head and looked first at Emma, then at Ruby. Holy crap, the silence was heavy, the air thick with tension. Slowly Lily opened her mouth and ran her tongue over her dry lips. Then she took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant," she said, barely audible. Ruby and Emma's eyes met, both holding their breath. Had they just heard right? Lily noticed the shocking faces of her friends, she looked at them with a painful expression, and then broke out in laughter. Her laughter was so contagious, the confusing lasted just a few seconds, before Emma and Ruby joined her.

"You're an idiot", Emma chuckled. "Next time, I'll threw you against the wall."

"Such a bitch. You do realize I could get a heart attack, right?" Ruby said grinning.

"Sorry not sorry. Seriously though, I could easily win an Oscar, right? Stupid town borders." Shaking her head, Emma grinned at Lily. Sometimes, she felt envy. Lily's life was so different from hers. She lived to the motto: "Enjoy your life, you only live once." Learning was a rarity for her, she was the typical party girl. Loved to celebrate and had already a few flings here and there. Her parents were so ... modern, one could say. They weren't mentally stuck in another realm. They were just like any regular American parents.

Parties were never a thing for Emma and Ruby. They worked hard for High school graduation and were waiting for the right one. Well, Ruby found the one a few months ago. Graham, her fiancé, was a deputy, who worked for Queen Cora in Storybrooke. Although Lily was so different from them, they loved her. For years the three of them went through thick and thin.

"Thanks to you I broke all speed limits," Emma muttered. "I even had to fight Papa." The blonde sipped her cacao and looked at Lily, frowning. "He's going to kill me."

"He's creepy, sorry", her friend apologized. "But I had to! You wouldn't make it today, if it wasn't for my tiny lie," she laughed. Tiny lie, of course. They drank their coffees and cacaos and talked about girl's stuff. Ruby's cell phone rang, it was Graham her fiancé. He was 22, had brown hair and tanned skin. They fitted perfectly together. Emma liked him. Most importantly, he loved Ruby very much.

"Okay, babe. Love you, see you later." Grinning, Ruby hung up. Everyone could see how happy she was.

"Oh babe, love you too, darling, honey, sweetheart," Emma and Lily mocked her friend.

"Stop it!" Ruby crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Just wait, when it is time for both of you, when you'll find the right one and fall in love head over heels. These butterflies in the belly are indescribable," she gushed. Emma and Lily exchanged a look. Without saying a word the two decided, that Ruby has gone crazy. Even as they were paying and leaving, Lily couldn't stop laughing at her.

"I'm really glad for you, Rubes," Emma said. "But love is overrated." She didn't know, that all too soon, she would regret her last sentence. Oh, and how she would …

As the girls walked a bit through Main Street, Emma kept looking at her watch. Somehow, she couldn't shake off the feeling, that Papa would get mad once she was home. The blonde hoped he wasn't drinking tonight. "Oh, come on, don't freak out. He won't get angry", Lily said to her.

"Don't pretend you don't know him." Emma replied.  
"He always exaggerate."

"He does. But well, we can't have all parents like yours, can we?" the blonde said. Lily cut her a grimace that made her laugh. Emma said goodbye to her friends, and ran over to her car.

"Hey, Blondie", Ruby shouted, as Emma crossed the road. "Give me a call once your home."

"Will do", she shouted back and threw her a kiss. As she turned around, she slammed full force into someone. Cursing, she stumbled a few steps backwards, before she finally landed on her butt. Oh, great, just great, Emma thought. The stranger held out a hand. She took it and was pulled up.

"Sorry, my mistake", the stranger said. That voice … it sounded like music to her ears and hit straight to her heart. She was still busy fumbling on her clothes, as she lifted her head and looked into those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes …


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love some feedback! Hope you enjoy the new chapter.  
> All mistakes are mine, please try and ignore them.

Emma had never believed in love at first sight. To love someone, you have to know the person. But in that very moment, as she looked into those eyes, and a pleasant feeling rushed through her body, she questioned her view. The color wasn't unique, a deep chocolate brown. But they sparkled like stars in the night sky – heavenly! And she could swear, she saw the entire world in those eyes.

"Are you hurt?" the stranger asked.

Unable to move even one fiber of her body, the blonde stood there and lost herself in that moment. How could a human being be so beautiful? Dark, short hair, a beautiful nose. And those full plump lips, covered in red lipstick. And right after that tiny little detail, it hit her like a brick and knocked the air out of her lungs; she was standing in front of a woman! And then, not two seconds later there was another thought; she didn't care.

Time stood still. Emma was absorbed in admiring this stranger, nothing around her seemed to matter anymore. Snapping fingers in front of her face pulled her out of her thoughts. She flinched and felt a deep blush spreading over her cheeks.

"Are you alright?" the brunette asked with a mixture of concern and amusement.

Emma opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't form any words. When a small smile appeared on the brunette's lips, Emma was only seconds away from melting in the middle of the street. Oh, sweet mother of God, what the hell is happening with me? she pounding of her heart roared in her ears. She felt the sudden urge to run away, but she couldn't move her feet.

"Your phone," the stranger said at once.

What? Why does she want with my phone? Emma asked herself. Oh, my God! Her number, she wants to give me her number. Focus, Emma! She cleared her throat. "I … uhm ..." she stuttered like an idiot.

"It's ringing", Emma heard the brunette say.

What the? Only then Emma heard her ringtone. She searched frantically in her handbag for the phone, which by now had stopped ringing. The blonde held her breath as she saw that Papa had called. "I have to go," Emma said quickly and ran away leaving a confused stranger behind.

Her heart was racing like crazy, her whole body trembled. As she finally reached the car, she quickly got in and leaned her forehead against the steering wheel. Oh, my God, what was that? "You stupid, stupid fool!"she cursed just acted like a complete idiot in front of the most beautiful woman she ever saw. Way to go, Swan! She mentally slapped herself as she tried to calm her still racing heart. Emma took her phone and dialed Papa's number. It rang and rang … but nothing. Damn it! She couldn't shake off the awful feeling in her chest, as she drove home.

Quietly Emma unlocked the front door. It was already after 9pm. She switched on the light in the hallway and waited a moment. Neither voices nor steps could be heard. The blonde let out a sigh of relive, slipped out of her shoes, and went upstairs to her room. She then pulled a pajama on and lay down on her bed. Closing her eyes Emma got lost in her thoughts, thinking about the encounter with the stranger. She didn't even know her name, and yet, the beautiful eyes and the breathtaking smile wouldn't get out of her head.

A few minutes later she went down to the kitchen and made a sandwich. She was starving. Apart from lunch and the hot cacao at Granny's she hadn't eaten anything today. Emma grabbed a frozen yogurt once she finished the sandwich, and went to the living room. Surely, a Netflix marathon wouldn't hurt.

When she turned on the light, her breath hitch in her throat, and the spoon slipped out of her hand. Papa sat with a lowered head on the couch. An almost empty bottle of whiskey stood on the table, next to a half-full glass. In slow motion, he raised his head and looked at Emma with glittering eyes. Fear shot through the blonde's body. "Where were you?" he asked barely audible.

"With Lily and Ruby at Granny's" Emma replied quickly, fumbling with the frozen yoghurt in her hand. Damn it. Her mouth felt like the Sahara. She swallowed painfully, and watched as Robert reached for his glass and emptied it. He whipped his mouth with the back of his hand, and stood up swaying. Emma took a step back, hands gripping tightly around the yoghurt.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Robert asked, as he slowly approached Emma. His voice send a shiver down the blonde's spine, heart pounding frantically against her ribcage. With his greyish shoulder long hair, the stone cold eyes, and the twitch of his lips, he looked like evil in person – literally.

"I … I didn't hear it," Emma stuttered, as she once again took a step back. A lie, yes. But she certainly couldn't tell him that she met a stranger, who had absorbed every fiber of her body. Who had made her, even if it was just for a minute, forget the entire damn world. Let alone her phone.

"How many times do I have to tell you; coming home late is not acceptable," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Papa, I –", Emma started, but before she could even finish her words a hard slap landed on her face. "Shut your mouth!" Another slap followed. Emma stumbled backwards and fell down. Immediately she reached up to soothe her burning cheek.

"Are you trying to ruin my image?" he yelled furiously. "'Robert can't control a girl', they will say. Do you want that? You do, right?" Ruin his image? Seriously? In which century was this man living? Emma didn't care about town gossiping. She didn't care what other people thought of her. But apparently he did. "Get up," he ordered.

The blonde ignored him. Not that she wanted to, tough. She was simply too busy with the aching pain, which was spreading all over here face.

"Get up, daughter of a whore!" he roared, grabbing her hair and pulling her up. The blonde was used to the insult. Still, it hurt every single time. He had no right calling Mary Margaret a whore, just because she was married once and has two kids with another man. He had no right! Holy hell, he was married twice before, and both of his wife's left him – not that much of a surprise, considering the temper of this man. He grabbed Emma's chin, and leaned in. She could barely resist the urge to throw up, as the alcohol smell on his breath hit her nostrils.

"Next time I won't be that gentle," he threatened. "Understood?" Emma nodded, but that didn't seem do satisfied him. Suddenly there were an invisible force pressing her against the wall and she couldn't breathe. The blonde's eyes grew wide in panic. Magic. He was using magic. "Understood?"

"Yes," Emma whimpered. She was close to tears, but she hold them back. She wasn't go to give him the satisfaction by seeing her weakness. Finally she could breathe again as he let go of her and swayed to the couch. Spoon and frozen yoghurt on the floor long forgotten, Emma ran straight to her room. Closing her door, she let herself sank against it. Tears began rolling down her cheeks. She sobbed and buried her aching face in her hands.

It wasn't the first time and surely not the last. She just couldn't understand it. Why did he hate her so much? What did she ever do to this man? Was it some sort of power game? Did he need the control, did it satisfy him? Did he get off by it? The ringing of her phone tore Emma out of her dark thoughts. She stood up, with her legs still shaking, and grabbed her phone from her bedside table. It was Ruby.

"Em, why didn't you call", her brunette friend asked as soon as she picked up. "I was worried!" Damn, Emma thought, she had totally forgotten! Wiping her tears away she apologized with a shaky voice. Ruby noticed the trembling and immediately asked, if everything was alright. "And don't you dare lying to me, Emma Swan!" her friend demanded.

"I … well, Papa. He lost it," she whispered. Emma heard her friend swearing. She didn't interrupt her, hearing her voice felt good, even if she was throwing the ugliest insults around. But then Ruby said she was on her way. "Don't!" Emma said quickly. "Mum and Bae aren't at home, and Neal is at Tamara's. I don't want Papa to go nuts, when he sees you here. He could hurt you, too."

"He can try", Ruby snorted.

"Rubes, please," she pleaded. She let her free hand ran through her thick blond hair and squeezed her eyes shut. A headache was on the way. "I could never forgive myself, if something happened to you."

"Fine", Ruby finally said. "Tomorrow then. I'll be there before noon. And don't even think arguing with me, am I clear?" Emma couldn't help but smile at that.

"I love you, Rubes. You know that, right?" she sniffled, as tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"I do", her best friend replied. "And I love you." Silence stretched a few seconds, before Ruby added, "Graham a little more, though." Both of them bursted out in laughter. Every day the blonde thanked God for giving her a friend like Ruby Lucas.

As Emma hung up a while later, she stood up and checked her face in the mirror. She poked lightly on her cheekbone and winced at the pain. "Please don't turn into a bruise", she muttered.

Hours later she lay sleepless in her bed. Around midnight the front door fell into the lock. Emma heard low whispers from downstairs, then a shout … that was Papa. Not a minute later her door opened, a small light gap from the hallway lit the room. As her Mum approached the bed, Emma pretended to be asleep. Mary Margaret sat down on her daughter's bed, gently stroked the blonde's hair and dropped a kiss on her forehead.

"Oh, honey", she whispered barely audible.

As Emma heard her crying softly the blonde's heart shattered into a thousand pieces. She sat up and turned her night light on. "Don't, Mum", she said quietly. Tears were falling down her cheeks. Emma reached for her mother's hand, kissed her and put her head on her lap. Her heart ached, as Mary Margaret stroked her blonde hair, kissing her head over and over again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, honey. Please forgive me", her mother sobbed.

Emma squeezed her mother's hand. "It's not your fault, Mum", she replied softly. And it wasn't. If her mother hadn't married Robert a year after her Dad's death, God knows what would had happen. She was a widow with two kids and no job, and soon without an apartment, when he made her a proposal. Mary Margaret had no choice. She gave them their best chance.

They lingered like that for a long time, until Emma finally fell asleep.

At the other side of town, Regina sat on a barstool and sipped on a glass of wine. Loud music pounded through The Rabbit Hole, as the brunette let her gaze wander around the bar. She was looking for a certain blonde, and couldn't help but sigh in disappointment, when she realized she wouldn't met the beautiful stranger here – at least not tonight.

A small smile appeared on the brunettes face, as she thought about the girl, who had checked her out earlier that day. Regina knew she was an attractive person, but the way the blonde eyes had raked over her was simply cute, and had left a warm feeling in her. Of course she had took the opportunity and checked the blonde out herself.

Those sparkling green eyes were branded on her mind. Pale skin, high cheekbones and long blonde hair, which was pulled up in a ponytail. And then the adorable blush, after she realized she had got caught staring. It didn't help that the blonde had such an athletic body, Regina felt her core clenching at the thought of the blonde's long legs in tight jeans. She shook her head, finishing her glass of wine. The brunette felt silly for gushing over a stranger.

"One more for the lady here", someone shouted and took the free seat next to her. Regina rolled her eyes, as she looked over to her new companion. "Having a good time, luv?" he asked her. The dark haired man gulp down what looked like rum and whipped his mouth with his hand.

"Ten seconds ago, yes", Regina said. He pressed a hand to his heart and let out a dramatic sigh. "Can't you just leave me alone, Killian?" He shook his head, no, and asked the bartender for another rum. "Oh, for God's sake, cut the crap!" Regina shouted.

"Sorry, luv. Your mother said, I should keep an eye on you. And who am I to not obey the Queens orders?" Anger rushed through her, and she had to press her lips tightly together to stop herself from saying something inappropriately. The Queen, of course. Leave it to her mother, making her life a living hell.

"We could have some fun whilst we here, you know? Looking for a bride can be exhausted, I need a break." Killian winked at her and waggled his eyebrows. His smirk grew wider, as he saw Regina's face turning into a grimace. "I'm good, I promise", he said and dared to sound hopeful.

The brunette's hand gripped tightly around the stem of her glass. "You're good?" she spat. "You're disgusting, that's what you are." She couldn't believe it! Would he ever stop trying to get in her pants? It was starting to get ridiculous. "I'm your sister, just stop it already, for the love of God!"

"Stepsister, luv. We're not blood-related." He grinned. Regina shivered as Killian let his eyes wander over her body, lingering just a second to long on her chest, before he leaned in. "It could be our secret", he whispered just loud enough to be heard over the music. "I'll never mention it, and as soon as I find a bride, I'll be out of your hair."

Regina was fuming. Her whole body shook in pure anger. "Back off," she hissed. "Or I swear to God you'll regret it." The brunette's hands burned, and suddenly purple smoke filled the air around them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Almost 40 Followers, yeah. I'm so happy, guys! Thank you so much. I hope you're enjoying the story so far, it'll get better I promise. I'll try to update at least once a week. Would love some feedback, let me know what you think <3

The light purple smoke wrapped around the brunette's body, heart pumping painfully in her chest. Energy stormed through Regina's veins as anger took over her. Killian was gaping at her. "Calm down," she heard him saying. He leaned back as far as possible. Only then, as she saw the shocked expression on his face, she realized what was happening. "I'm sorry. Please, calm down," he said again.

'As if it were that easy' she thought. The brunette tried looking for something good to focus on, and then suddenly all she could see were green eyes. Beautiful, green eyes on a make-up free face. Immediately Regina's her racing heart began to calm down, a delightful feeling replacing the anger in her. She let her eyes wander around her, noticing that a few people were staring at her. She shot them a nonchalant look and took a sip of the full glass of wine in front of her.

She felt Killian's gaze on her and turned back to him. "I'm sick and tired of your behavior," she said, an almost scary calm in her voice. "Stop it. Or I'll destroy you and if it is the last thing I do." Killian gulped visible, fear shone through his eyes, and a layer of sweat appeared on his forehead.

"You wouldn't," he said with a forced laugh in attempt to lighten the mood, but failing miserable. Now Regina leaned slightly in, an evil smirk on her face. "Try me," she whispered, not backing off of the staring contest, and she enjoyed every single second of his mortifying expression. He certainly deserved it.

As he finally stood up and left her alone, Regina let out a sigh and massaged her throbbing temples. Thank God – no thank the blonde stranger – she didn't lose control. She had no idea how she could've explained it to her mother. The brunette finished her glass of wine and headed straight home. Well, her new home, for an undefined time – the small cabin in the woods.

When Emma got up the next morning, she felt relieved that there were no visible traces of Papa's beating. She dressed and went downstairs. Neal was still at Tamara's, he practically lived there already. Bae was still asleep, just like Papa. As Emma entered the living room, she saw Mary Margaret talking on the phone. Her mother's eyes were red and swollen, and the sight hurt the blonde so much, she had to hold back fresh tears. Mary Margaret was talking to her best friend, who was Uncle James wife, Kathryn. Something wasn't right, Emma could feel it. The question was what? Not a minute later her mother hung up and went to the kitchen to cook.

Shortly afterwards, Ruby came by. Emma took her by the hand and pulled her quickly into her room. As soon as she had assured her, that everything was okay, Ruby changed the subject. "Did you know that there are some new people in town? They came over from the enchanted forest." As Emma shrugged Ruby smacked her arm. "Idiot. I'm talking to you", she feigned hurt.

The blonde chuckled softly. "Sorry," Emma said "I guess, I wouldn't even notice it. I don't get much around as you know, and I'm pretty certain I don't know half of the town." She shrugged again and settled comfortable against the headboard of her bed. "How's Graham?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "He's fine. Don't changes the subject." As Emma started to protest but her friend held out her hand and stopped her. "Listen, I know you've a crappy stepdad but he can't stop you from living your life. You should go out sometime, maybe you'll met someone," she reasoned. "Mr. Perfect is waiting for you, Em", Ruby said.

'How about Miss Perfect?' Emma blushed as soon as the thought entered her mind. She couldn't forget those eyes, damn it! The mysterious beauty, which she with her luck, or the lack therefor, most likely would never see again, had completely taken over her mind. Emma's heart beat increased, and a grin spread across her face. Ruby tapped her friend's forehead with a finger and looked at her irritated.

"Did I say something funny?" Ruby asked. Emma just shook her head … her encounter with the stranger would remain her little secret, at least for now, the blonde decided, hoping deep inside her that their path would cross again.

Several days went by, and before Emma had time to process what was happening, she was sitting in a booth at Granny's, last exams written and passed. They were celebrating, with Papa's permission of course. Neal, Tamara and Lily were here, as well as Ruby and her fiancé Graham. Music was playing from the Jukebox and laughter filled the Diner. Emma felt so contentment, she couldn't stop smiling as she stuffed herself with loads of fries. They were greasy but so, so delicious!

"Oh, Em, calm down with those fries, will you?" Ruby laughed. "You'll get sick." The blonde just stuck her tongue out and kept eating. "Yeah, well. I guess it's my Granny's fault, there just too good." Emma nodded at that and grabbed her hot chocolate. If I can't get wasted with alcohol, fries and chocolate will do, she thought, grinning like a fool.

But then, as her friend had predicted, an hour later Emma started to feel weird. She excused herself for a few minutes to grab some fresh air outside the Diner. The blonde sat down on one of the tables and closed her eyes, trying to soothe her stomach. In spite of everything she kept the smile on her face. "What does a lady like you alone out here," a voice suddenly startled the blonde. As she opened her eyes she saw a guy in his mid-twenties standing beside her table.

"I believe that's none of your business," Emma scoffed. He definitely was handsome, but as he stood there pulling at a cigar and sizing her up, the blonde couldn't help it. Besides, he looked quiet arrogant. The guy just smirked, then threw the cigar on the ground and crushed it with his foot. "Smoking damages health," Emma said, twitching her lips in disgust – she hated it!

"My health," he replied and winked at her.

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Mine, too, if you smoke near me." Whoa, his smirk grew wider, if that was even possible. He pointed to the free chair next to her and titled his head in question. "No," she said nonchalantly. Now he grinned from ear to ear and put his hands in the pants pockets.

"Waiting for your boyfriend?" He asked, still grinning.

"Yes," the blonde said. Seeing the grin disappearing in an instant was quit funny. Win! Emma thought. His cell phone rang, he took it from his pocket and looked at the display. "Won't you answer that? It's surely important." His smirk was back. Declining the call he said, "Right now, nothing's more important than you." Emma had no time to think about what he just said, because as she glanced over her shoulder, Ruby was standing at the door watching her. The blonde got up and went off.

"Hey, wait!" the guy shouted out. "I'm Killian, what's your name?" The blonde turned around and shrugged. "That's not fair. I told you mine," he complained. "Well, I didn't ask you," Emma replied."

"Smart as well."

Emma furrowed her brows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Smart and beautiful. It's hard to find such a combination nowadays," he grinned as he sat down on her now free chair and lit a new cigar. A strange feeling washed over Emma, and since she didn't know what to say, she just turned and headed back to the diner.

Ruby asked her about the guy as soon as she was back in the booth. "Oh, don't," Emma said, and sighed as her best friend raised an eyebrow and shot her a pointed look. "I think he was hitting on me." The brunette laughed out loud, and the sound echoed through the diner in the same moment as the music ended. All gazes wandered to Ruby. Her hand shot to her mouth, blushing but still laughing.

"You think?" she whispered and shook her head in disbelieve. "Emma, sometimes you're such a fool, I can't believe it. He was good looking and a brunette, exactly your type." The blonde rolled her eyes. "You should've invited him to join us," Ruby said and chuckled as Emma glared at her.

The blonde thought about his smirk and the cigar and grimaced, "He smokes. That's such a NO GO!" Emma leaned back in her seat, glad when Ruby dropped the topic.

At the same time Regina was comfortable sitting on her couch, reading a book – at least she tried to. Too many things went through her head. How she could miss someone she didn't even know? It was simply impossible to get the blonde out of her head. Every time she thought about her, her heart started pounding. Every morning Regina woke up with the hope of meeting the angel again. She called her angel for two reasons: Firstly, she didn't know her name, and secondly, she simply looked like one.

Regina wondered what it would feel like, pulling the thick blonde hair out of the ponytail and letting her fingers run through it. She wondered what it smelt like. Vanilla? Coconut? Or even Fruity? The warmth of a blush crept up her neck and stained her cheeks. "What's that smile about, my dear?" a voice pulled her forcefully out of her thoughts, and a purple cloud filled the room.

Regina sprung to her feet and gaped in shock. "Mother!" she cried out, putting a hand on her chest. "You scared me!" Cora laughed lightly. "Do you always have to appear that way? Can't you just knock like any other person?" The brunette let out a sigh. She knew her mother had a thing for spectacular entrances, but she just couldn't stand it.

"But I'm not just any person, my dear. I'm the Queen," her mother replied and wandered around the small living area, which held not much more than a couch, a table and a TV. The Queen lifted a disapproval eyebrow and looked at her daughter. Her lips were pursed in disgust.

"I like it here, mother. I'm not coming back," Regina said firmly.

The Queen came to a stand in front of her daughter. "That's not why I'm here, Regina," she said. "Killian wanted to see me. He found a girl, I believe. I just hope that's finally the right one. He's starting to get on my nerves." Regina didn't say anything, instead just sneered. Killian indeed could be a pain in the ass. "And I thought since I'm already here, I might as well come by. Do you need anything, darling?"

Regina eyed her mother skeptically. Why was she suddenly being so nice? "No, mother, thank you." The brunette replied politely, "I have Rocinante, that's enough for the moment." The brunette was so happy the have her horse here. I good ride around the woods kept her distracted.

The Queen nodded barely noticeable and wished her daughter a good night. Just as she was about to went off, she stopped and turned around. "Oh, my dear, one more thing," she said, a smirk on her face. "You'll come back sooner or later. All on your own," and then she disappeared in a cloud of purple.

So much for being nice, Regina thought as she let herself slump down into the softness of her couch.

The night after the celebrating, Emma decided that she needed a good run. She couldn't remember when her last one had been, so she slipped in her running shoes and went off. It was a beautiful sunny day in Storybrooke, and the blonde felt sweat dripping all over her body as she ran and ran and ran. Emma enjoyed every second, as her legs carried her towards the forest. She had her own secret place there, a small bench which were surrounded by large trees.

By the time she arrived at her favorite spot she was completely out of breath and her top clung soaked to her body. The burning in her chest felt so good and liberating. She slumped down on the bench, leaned back and closed her eyes, waiting for her breathing to settle down. The chirping of the birds filled her ears and she could feel the corners of her mouth rising. She was so engrossed in thoughts that she barely heard the horse approaching, and nearly jumped out of her skin as the horse snorted loudly.

"Easy, boy, easy," the blonde heard the riders voice and, oh God, Emma's entire body began to tingle. It was her! She couldn't believe it! The brunette beauty patted the animal's neck and then rose so elegantly from the horse, Emma swore she had never seen something similar before.

"Look who we found, Rocinante", the brunette said to her horse, not taking her eyes off of Emma. "We've met before, right?" she asked smiling. The brunette was wearing black riding trousers and a matching top. Emma's heart skipped a beat. And that smile, oh God, that smile.

Even though Regina could hide her own feelings way better, she felt so happy, she could scream in joy. The blonde was dripping wet, sweat rolling from her forehead down her neck and Regina couldn't help but admire the sight. She let go of the reins and pointed to the bench. "May I?" she asked. All Emma was able to do in that moment was nod, mouth slightly agape. 'So adorable,' Regina thought, and then, 'Damn it, Regina. Look what she's doing with you, you're using words like adorable and cute.' She shook her head and then held her hand out. "I'm Regina," she said.

The blonde stared a second at the outstretched hand, before she finally pulled herself together. 'Get a grip, idiot!' Emma cursed inwardly. "Hello, Regina," oh, how that name rolled over her tongue! Emma felt her stomach muscles tightened. "Nice to meet you," she breathed out.

As the blonde said her name, Regina felt a shiver ran down her spine. And as their hands finally touched, her heart threatened to burst from the sheer amount of feelings which were currently flooding through her. 'Holy shit. I'm so screwed!' Seconds passed by, both of them lost in their own thoughts as soon as their hands parted. Then a few seconds later Regina went on. "And you are?"

A confused expression washed over the blonde's face, as she shook her head, "I'm sorry?"

"Your name," Regina grinned.

'Oh, for fuck's sake, Emma Swan'. Embarrassed she cleared her throat. "Emma. I'm Emma." The brunette smiled widely. "Beautiful name. Beautiful girl," she said, and that was the moment in which Emma completely lost it. She practically jumped off the bench, cheeks burning hot.

"I … I've to go," the blonde stuttered.

Nah, Nah, Nah. Not so fast, Emma.


	4. Chapter 4

‚I have to go? I HAVE TO GO?? Did I really fucking just said that?’ Emma thought. She had completely lost her mind. She did NOT want to leave. As she saw the disappointed look on the brunettes face she felt instantly like an asshole and could slap herself. 

Regina had a hard time hiding her disappointment. But then again she probably had gone too soon too far. The blonde looked young and inexperienced, she surely wasn’t used to getting compliments by a woman, a complete stranger even. “Again?” Regina rose to her feet. “Can I at least have your number?” 

“No!” Emma answered, a little too fast. “I don’t give my number to strangers.” Oh, please, could someone just shot me already? It wasn’t like she had met many stranger in her life so far.  
“Too bad,” Regina replied sadly. 

Just as Emma was about to leave, Regina blocked her way and smiled sweetly. She had to get out of here as fast as possible, or she would melt, Emma thought.  
“But I can give you mine?” Regina said. She didn’t want to give up so quickly. 

“Yours? Yours what?” the blonde stammered. 

“My number,” the brunette grinned widely. She loved the effect she had on Emma, without even trying. 

“I … ugh …” but before the Emma could finish her words, Regina pulled her phone out of her pocket. And just in that moment Emma noticed, that she looked like shit. She never really gave much thought of what people might think of her appearance but suddenly it was important to look good – for Regina. How long had she dreamed about this moment? Of finally meeting the dark haired beauty again? Of course it had to happen on the day she was jogging and smelling and sweating like a pig. Oh, boy. Regina waited patiently never breaking the eye contact and a bright smile plastered on her face. Ultimately Emma brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face, then took her phone out of her running shorts. Her fingers trembled as she typed done Regina’s number. 

“Save as; Regina,” the brunette smiled.  
“Uh … yeah, done,” Emma returned her smile shyly.  
“Cute,” Regina said. Emma tilted her head and looked questioningly at her, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. “Even cuter,” Regina said, grinning.  
“What do you mean?” Emma asked.  
“I’ll tell you only if you promise you call me,” the brunette replied in a serious tone. Emma was curious, so she nodded. “Uh, uh,” Regina said and shook her head. “I want to hear it.”  
“I promise,” Emma said, suppressing a giggle.

“Your smile. It’s breathtaking. Just like you,” Regina breathed out and took a step towards the blonde, whose pulse shot immediately up, when Regina was only inches away from her.  
Emma shuddered, and as Regina’s scent hit her nostrils she closed her eyes. A moan threatened to escape her throat. How could she smell that way, when she was riding a frigging horse and the sun was burning above them? ‘I’m dreaming’ she thought, ‘that’s just some weird wet dream’. She opened her eyes; it wasn’t a dream. There she stood, in flesh and blood, all beautiful and smiling and just … regal.  
“So … I will wait for your call,” Regina whispered. Emma held her breath as the brunette raised her hand, stroking her hair … ‘no, wait.’ “You got something there,” Regina grinned widely. As she removed her hand from the blonde, there was a leaf in her hand, which had probably fallen on Emma’s head from the light breeze. Emma blushed. 'Oh God, how embarrassing.' 

“See you around,” Emma muttered under her breath and then turned on her heels, this time leaving an extremely satisfied Regina behind. 

Fortunately, the brunette went in the other direction, Emma thought. While she ran as fast as she could, she pressed her cell phone against her chest. She clearly felt her racing heartbeat. Her number! She had her number! Emma felt as if thousands of fireworks exploded in her belly.  
When Emma finally got home, she went straight to the shower. While the cold water was running down her sweaty body, she kept thinking about Regina. She never felt something similar before. Was that what Ruby had talked about? All those butterfly’s in her stomach? 

When Emma was back in her room, she lay down on her bed with the intention to take a nap. But her mind just wouldn’t have it. The blonde kept gazing at her phone. ‘Should I write to her? Or even call?’ No. Better not. Otherwise she’ll probably think that Emma could hardly wait. ‘You can’t, you fool!’ she thought, grinning at her own stupidity. 

“What’s so funny?” 

Oh God! She was so lost in thoughts she didn’t even notice her Mum, standing at the doorway.  
"Nothing," Emma said, and sat up.

"Come down, dinner is ready." Mary Margaret was about to leave the room when Emma called out. "Mum, wait a minute. Sit down," she said, tapping her bed. Mary Margaret gave her daughter a faint smile and took a seat beside next to her. Her mother looked as if she had aged for years in the past days. There were dark circles under her eyes. Emma took her hand and carefully stroked it.  
"Are you okay? I think you lost weight. You're not on diet, are you?" Emma looked at her mother for a long time, waiting for her answer. Mary Margaret said nothing, instead she kissed her on the forehead. "Mum?" Emma didn’t let go. 

"I am fine. Just a bit tired," her mother finally said.  
"Let's go to the doctor, he’ll prescribes you something," Emma said worried.  
To her surprise her mother stood up jerkily. "No!” Mary Margaret said quickly. “I'm fine, it would be a waste of time. Come now, dinner is waiting.” She then flee out of her room, leaving Emma alone.  
Shaking her head, Emma stood up herself. ‘Something is definitely off’ she thought as she went downstairs for dinner. 

Two days had passed, two endless long days, in which Emma simply didn’t find the courage to call Regina! Every time her finger hovered over the button, her nerves got the better of her. Fear and self-doubt were her problems. The whole time she thought about it. What does such a beautiful and elegant woman would possibly want to do with someone like her?  
She hadn’t told anyone yet. Neither Lily nor Ruby. She didn’t even dare telling her big brother Neal. She was afraid of the reactions when they would find out that Emma was … well, what was she? Gay? Bisexual? She really had no idea, and if she were honest with herself, she didn’t like labels. The thing that really mattered was that she had feelings for a person who just happened to be a woman. Strong feelings even. Feelings that made her knees go weak. 

“Come on, now,” she murmured to herself. “You can do this.” Her heart was pounding wildly while the phone rang, and Emma caught herself chewing on her fingernails. Suddenly her stepfather was calling for her, his voice just in front of her door. Emma hit the decline button and jumped out of her bed. “Fuck,” she whispered. She cleared her throat and replied, “Yes, Papa?”  
A second later Robert stormed into her room. “Where are my glasses? He roared. 

“In the closet, next to the big picture,” the blonde replied in a trembling voice. 

“They aren’t there!” Robert growled. Then her mother’s voice sounded from downstairs, “Robert, I found them.” He looked at Emma in disdain and left her room without saying another word. 

“Holy shit, that was close!” Emma thought as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Once again she had failed. A coward, that’s what she felt like. A coward who didn’t dare to make a simply phone call. Furiously, she hit the sink. Once she rinsed her mouth, she took two deep breaths and went back to her room. Tired, she slipped into her pajama and sat on her bed.  
“Fuck it!” Emma said and grabbed her phone again. Second try, ‘more like the thousands’, she thought. After the second ring she heard a voice at the other end of the line – a male voice. 

“Hello? Who’s there?” Shocked, Emma held her breath. “Hello? Say something,” the man demanded. Emma got no sound out of her mouth, she was simply too dumbfounded. “Hey, are you kidding me?” the man muttered. 

Eventually Emma found her voice, “No, I’m sorry. Wr … wrong number,” the blonde stuttered. But then, just as she wanted to hang up she heard Regina’s voice.  
“Phillip, what the hell? Why are you answering my phone? Idiot.” She didn’t sound angry at all, rather amused, which was confirmed by her laughter. Jealously shot through Emma’s body and she felt so silly for it, that she wanted to hang up. But something was holding her back. Maybe it was Regina’s voice which she had already missed. 

“Hello?” Regina spoke.  
“Hey,” Emma responded shyly. 

“It’s you. Finally! Do you have an idea how long I waited for your call?” The brunettes words made Emma’s heart flutter. "Wait a second," Regina said, and a few seconds later the background noise, which had just been heard, had disappeared. She had left the room. To be able to talk undisturbed or so … Phillip couldn’t hear her? Emma’s mood changed in an instant. 

"Sorry, didn’t meant to disturb you, you're clearly busy," the blonde said.  
"Nonsense. I'm glad you finally called." 

It sounded sincere and it really seemed as if she was happy. Nevertheless, Emma felt … damn those feelings! 

“You should go back, before your boyfriend starts worrying.” Oh, God. She sounded so pathetic. "My what?" she heard Regina laugh.  
"Your boyfriend," Emma replied flatly. Laughter from the other end of the line filled the blonde’s ear. Was she seriously laughing at her? 

“Phillip,” Regina chuckled, “he can wait.”

Okay, the blonde decided she had enough. “I shouldn’t have called, my mistake. Good night!” Emma couldn’t help but snap. 

“Wait, please wait!” Regina shouted.  
“How many people did you give your number? Even though you have a boyfriend?” Emma hissed.  
“None,” the brunette replied calmly.  
“Oh … so I was the first one, I'm honored,” she said ironically.  
“No, you were not.” 

Emma was furious. Her pulse was beating in her throat, but she didn’t want to hang up, because strangely she liked the little banter.  
“Guess you like playing, but not with me. I’m not a toy.” 

Regina bit her lip. She really was enjoying this phone call. The blonde clearly seemed to be jealous, a fact that made the brunette’s heart jump in joy. “And why – If I may ask – do you think I’m playing?” Regina asked. As the blonde muttered something under her breath, Regina cut in, “I hear prejudices.” 

“More like facts,” Emma said and could clearly hear something like a snort and dared to say that Regina was grinning. This little game seemed to suit her as well.  
“You’re putting a label on me, without knowing me?” Regina wanted to know.  
“Why shouldn’t I? I mean, you’re on a relationships and I …” the blonde started but Regina cut in.

“Phillip?” she said, biting down hard on her lip, barely holding back her laugh. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Phillip is a childhood friend. He’s getting married and came by to invite me to his wedding.” Regina continued more than amused. 

‘What the?’ Emma’s swallowed hard, mind racing like crazy. Her childhood friend? Getting married? She took a deep breath and wondered if that could be one of those games? Regina was making fun of her, didn’t she? She was playing with her, right? ‘What if not?’ Suddenly Emma was painfully aware of how stupid and embarrassing the situation was. 

“Hey, still there?” Regina’s voice tore her out of her mind. 

“Yeah,” the blonde whispered. Emma was so glad that Regina couldn’t see her. She her cheeks were burning, and she was embarrassed like hell. To her relief, the brunette changed the topic, and just like that they talked … and talked … and talked. When Emma looked at her watch, she shrieked from shock. It was quarter past two!

“What’s wrong?” Regina asked worried.  
“Nothing. I just saw how late it is. I didn’t mean to keep you up that long. You must be tired.”  
“I’m not,” the brunette said, but Emma heard her yawning.  
“I’m sorry,” she then said.  
“Don’t be, please. I really enjoyed our talk.”  
“That’s not what I meant. I … I’m sorry that I was acting like a bitch earlier. Even if you had a boyfriend, it’s not my business. So, I’m sorry”, she apologized.  
“Again, don’t be,” Regina said softly. “I’m really glad you acted the way you did, otherwise I would be disappointed." 

And again! Emma’s heart beat just tripled up. She had no idea what to say to that, so she just wished her a good night. 

“You, too,” Regina breathed out. “May I see you again? There’s that diner, Granny’s I think. Maybe we could met there and talk some more? Tomorrow? Six pm?” The brunette held her breath. She was so nervous, sweaty palms and racing heart. She wasn’t sure if she somehow stepped over a line. If she had pushed too much, if she just messed up. But then she heard a light giggle – and, oh God, the sound was so adorable she felt herself becoming addicted to it. 

“I would love to,” the blonde whispered, before both girls hung up with bride, happy smiles.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That one's a little shorter, but I just couldn't wait to share it. Mostly Swanqueen Fluff, enjoy! And please, let me know what you think! :)

Emma was freaking out. She had absolutely no idea what to wear. A dress? Cut off shorts? Or rather jeans? 'Is this a date?' she thought. The blonde sighed frustrated as she looked around in her closet. Okay, she decided to just keep it casual. She had no desire to show up overdressed. Otherwise Regina would think she was trying too much. Emma grabbed a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a grey button up shirt. She stuffed the shirt loosely in her pants, folded the sleeves up to her elbows and popped open an extra knob. She left her hair open, as she had freshly showered they fell in beautifully blonde waves over her shoulders. She applied a little mascara and lip-gloss. Then she glanced at the mirror and smiled, satisfied.

About 25 minutes later, Emma parked Neal's yellow bug and entered the diner with a beating heart. When she looked at her watch, she realized that she was way too early. So she sat down, waited, and was damn glad that it was a weekday and the diner were mostly empty. Even better, Ruby was staying at Graham's tonight, so she didn't have to worry that her best friend would show up. Not that she was ashamed, hell no, it was simply too early to tell anyone about … this thing. The blonde sighed, leaned back in the booth and tried to keep calm. She was so nervous and didn't know what to expect.

"Now, look who's here?" Emma suddenly heard a voice behind her. Her head whipped around, she couldn't believe her eyes. What was HE doing here? She gaped at him in shock. What was his name? Killian? "Nice to see you again, too," he grinned, while his crystal clear blue eyes sparkled with joy. Killian took a step toward Emma and held out his hand. Really, now? He seriously stood there, grinned at her, and waited. Well, since the few people in the cafe were looking at them, and Emma didn't want to be rude, she reached out to shake his hand. "Hello," she said then.

"Great coincidence, or should I say fate?" He sounded amused, and Emma didn't know what exactly he found so funny. She almost had to take her hand with force from him as he didn't let go. "So soft," he whispered. With a raised eyebrow, Emma looked at him questioningly. "Your hand."

This smirk of him brought the blonde completely out of balance! Suddenly she realized that Regina could appear at any moment. She looked around frantically.

"I'd love to invite you to a drink, but I have to go," Killian started and relieve flooded through Emma's body. "Unfortunately, I still don't know your name," he added.

"And that's not going to change," Emma replied.

Dear God, she just had dumped the guy and despite everything he was still smirking at her. "Somehow I have the feeling that our paths will cross again soon. See you, luv." Winking at Emma, he went off and left the diner. As it would turn out, Killian should be right with his feeling.

 

 

When Emma went back from a short trip to the bathroom, she saw that Regina was already there. She walked slowly toward the brunette, and as Regina noticed her, she stood up, smiling. The blonde's breath hitched in her throat. Regina was wearing a sleeveless, tight dress, which hugged her curves in all the right ways. The dark purple color fitted her so well! And those black high heels!

"Hey," Emma said quietly, as she came to a stand right in front of the gorgeous brunette. She fidgeted with her hands. 'Should I extend my hand? Or should I hug her?' the blonde thought. But the before she could think about it any longer, Regina leaned in and placed a chaste, soft kiss on her cheek, and whispered a "Hey," in her ear.

Emma's body tingled and her knees had gone weak. She almost sighed in relief as the two of them took a seat opposite each other on the booth.

Regina herself was pretty thrown off by the blonde's appearance. She looked so different, with naturally wavy tresses and the light make-up. She was pleasantly surprised by the change and she simply enjoyed the sight for a few moments. "You look beautiful," Regina said at last.

"Look who's talking," Emma replied and lowered her gaze to hide her blush.

"What's wrong?" Regina wanted to know.

The blonde shook her head, feeling silly. "I … nothing. It's just … I'm not used to this," she whispered, and gestured with her hands between Regina and herself. "Besides, whatever we're doing here, I mean … I … you're the first person ... well, you know. And that secretly," she admitted openly and bit her tongue a second later, embarrassed. 'Emma Swan, you're an idiot. Just stop talking'.

"Hopefully the last," Regina said then, not at all offended. She knew first-hand how hard coming out could be, especially when your mother wants you to take over her place as the Queen. Being bisexual or even gay? A lady loving Queen? 'Unacceptable, Regina!' were her mother's words. Just thinking about it made the brunette angry, but then she saw Emma's beet red face and wide eyes, and she was suddenly aware of what she had just said. The words had slipped out before she realized it. Now it was Regina's turn to bite her tongue and blush. Thankfully, neither of them said anything, since they both felt like something … very special was happening.

Instead they talked. Emma told Regina about her family, about her stepfather and her deceased Dad. The brunette listened attentively to her, here and there asking a question or commenting about her 'monstrous' stepfather. Even her way of talking seemed to be elegant. Emma was mesmerized by the dark brown eyes that stared so intently into her own.

After a good three hours, it was time to leave. Emma had told her mother that she was coming a little later, but she didn't want to push her luck. The blonde had such a great time, a bad ending wouldn't exactly ruin it, but … yeah.

After they paid, okay, Regina insisted on paying, because, 'I am the one who invited you, dear', she had called her DEAR, holy mother of God! As Regina accompanied her to the car, Emma's smile was so bright, it could lit up a room.

"Oh, wow," Regina said, when they were standing in front of Emma's, well Neal's car, "What's that supposed to be?" She raised an eyebrow and let her gaze wander over the yellow bug.

"It's my brother's car," Emma pouted in mock hurt, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"That thing," she pointed at the bug, "is anything but a car, dear," Regina teased, eyes now fixed on Emma pouting lips.

"Mean," the blonde said, but then her heartbeat quickened when she saw where Regina was looking at. Her own eyes darted to the brunette's lips and for the first time, she took a second to observe the small scar on Regina's upper lip. She felt a pang of arousal in the pitch of her stomach, at the thought of sliding her tongue over the scar.

"The truth, darling, just the truth," Regina whispered, as she closed the gap between Emma and herself. One hand went to her waist, while the other made his way to the nape of the blonde, pulling her closer. Their gazes met. Regina was searching for hesitation or uncertainty in Emma's eyes, a sign that she was going too fast, but all she could see was desire. Desire and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Emma meanwhile had stopped breathing. She felt the warm of Regina's hand through her shirt, and her whole body tingled with excitement. The brunette's fingers pressed determined against Emma's neck, a thumb stroking over her cheek. Then, Regina's breath tickled her face, and a second later their lips finally met. The blonde's eyes fluttered close, as her mouth moved lightly against Regina's.

Her first kiss. Not even in her dreams had she dared to believe, that it would be so overwhelming! It was as if time and space ceased to exist. As if she was tasting a new drug and became instantly addicted. And at the same time fireworks exploded in her belly.

Regina had kissed before. Different people even. Men's and Women's. But never, not once, had she felt something like this. She was on fire, dreams and hope shot through every fiber of her being. Feelings that should have scared her, but surprisingly didn't. When they parted, she leaned her forehead against the blonde's. "Emma," she panted, eyes still close. "What have you done with me? You are driving me crazy," she added with a whisper, brushing her lips one more time over Emma's, just barely touching them.

Emma thought she might burst with joy. Her smile was so bright, it hurt, and her heart still beating as if she had just ran a marathon. Suddenly, Emma remembered where she was standing, and began to pull back. She cleared her throat, "So … I'll see you?" she tried to sound casual, but failed miserably, which made Regina grin widely.

"Weird, I miss you already," the brunette sighed. A pleasant feeling spread across Emma's body. "Please call me, when you're home," Regina breathed out and then held open the door of the bug. Emma simply wasn't able to say even one more word tonight, so she just nodded, and hopped in the car. As she shot one last glance at Regina, who stood smiling with her arms folded across her chest, Emma started the engine and drove off. All the while she felt a thousand butterfly's holding their own private party in her belly.

Regina remained standing on the pavement for a while, watching as the bug disappeared into the night. Her fingers lingered on her lips, a contented smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. The Date … it was definitely a Date, had went even better than she'd expected. She giggled, Regina Mills GIGGLED, as she made her way to the black Mercedes parked a little further down the road.

"Who was that?" Regina froze in shock, as she heard the voice. Slowly, very slowly, she turned around.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A big THANK YOU to my Beta, Swanqueen1215. She's a life saver! And please, pretty please, let me some comments here, I would love to know what you guys think so far :)

Chapter 6 

 

„Sydney, “Regina said through clenched teeth, “what are you doing here?” 

The dark-skinned man clasped his hand behind his back and started pacing back and forth. “You didn’t answer my question, Regina,” he said in a low voice. 

“I don’t intend too, and it’s princess Regina to you,” the brunette shot back. 

Sydney smiled and nodded, “Of course, I am sorry.” 

“Did my mother send you? Are you stalking me?” Regina spat out, feeling the anger raising in her making the vein in her forehead pop. 

“No, I am just looking out for my future wife and soon to be Queen.” 

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at that. “So, my mother has managed to persuade you? Why am I not surprised?” 

“Your majesty didn’t persuade me, princess Regina, she didn’t have to. Any man would be lucky to have you as a wife, and I myself, feel even more lucky to be blessed with the honor.” 

Regina shook her head, the laugh dying in her throat. For a second she felt sorry for him, because he really seemed to believe what he was talking. Once again, her mother had manipulated someone, playing with someone’s life. “Sydney,” she started with a gentle voice, “you have to stop that, I’m not going to come back, and I am not going to be your wife – that will not happen. Never. The sooner you understand that the better.” 

Sydney stopped pacing meeting Regina’s gaze. “Who was the person who just left?” 

The brunette rolled her eyes, but decided it could probably help if she told him the truth. “Someone special,” Regina said, smiling at the thought of Emma. “Someone special I intent to keep.” 

“A women,” he stated with distaste, a grimace on his face, as if he was going to get sick. 

“Indeed,” Regina confirmed calmly, even though her blood was boiling with anger at his reaction. 

Sydney took a step forward, “My dear, maybe you need a man’s companionship to get through this phase.” He stepped into her personal space and it all happened so fast, Regina had no time to react as he pressed his lips against hers. But then a button in her switched and in a blink of an eye Sydney was flying through the air. 

"How dare you!" She hissed, wiping her mouth in disgust. "How dare you touch me at all?" Magic flooded her body, while Sydney got up, groaning in pain. The brunette’s palms were burning, and Sydney’s eyes grew comically wide. “Damn,” Regina muttered under breath, noticing the fireballs in her hands. Her breath was shallow as she tried to regain control over her body. 

“R … Regina,” the man stuttered, but she cut him off. “Be quiet! I don’t want you near me. Next time you try something like this, you won’t be just flying through the air, am I clear?” she said, she was driven by her anger as she spat her words in his face. Finally, able to extinguish the fireballs. “Give greetings to my mother from me.” She then got into her car and drove away. 

___________________________

 

Emma was getting frustrated! Three days had passed since the date and she still hadn’t seen Regina again. Thanks to the Miner’s day. She had promised weeks ago that she would help with organizing the event. During the celebration, which took place once a year, booths with games and entertainment were set up in town. The whole thing was so stressful, Emma felt utterly exhausted by the time they were done.   
On top of that, she was constantly fighting with Bae. The little fucker provoked her all the time. Although she had spoken with Regina on the phone every night, Emma missed her, like, a lot.   
On Friday, her mood finally improved. Lily and Ruby were coming to pick her up. She worked her ass off for the Miner’s day, she might as well enjoy it. She just finished getting reading, when there was a knock on the front door. She hurried as fast as she could down the stairs and cursed as she almost lost her balance on these monster high heels she was wearing. “Crap,” Emma muttered, steadying herself on the banister. Maybe I should wear my flats. 

Before she could think about it, another knock followed. Full of anticipation, Emma opened the front door. "Give me a second Ladies, I forgot my clutch,” she said quickly, but stopped when her gaze met her friends. The two stood motionless and looked at her with big eyes and open mouths. 

“What?” the blonde asked. 

Ruby and Lily exchanged a quick glance, then they stared back at Emma. 

“What’s wrong?” the blonde muttered impatiently.  
“I … uh, well … you look …” Ruby stuttered.   
“SEXY!” Lily shouted. “Sexy as hell!” 

Emma’s jaw dropped. She glanced at the mirror, which hung in the hallway and frowned. Did she overdo? Her blonde curls were hanging loosely over her shoulders. She was wearing her tightest pair of black jeans. Her white, strapless top fit perfectly with her sun-kissed skin. She had put extra effort in her make-up, and was greeted with dark Smokey eyes and bright red lips along with her 5 inch heels. Fuck! She did so overdo! 

“I swear, Rubes, if that girl hasn’t a guy, my name’s not Lily.” 

“No, shut up! We would know,” Ruby replied. 

Lily chuckled, “Seems like you’re not the only one getting laid tonight, Ruby.” 

“Hey!” Emma interrupted them. “I’m standing right here,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Maybe I should get changed.”

“What? Don’t you dare,” Lily shouted out, grabbing her wrist and pulling her off the porch. “There’s no time. Besides you look damn hot, where’s the problem?” she giggled and Emma joined in.   
A few moments later they were in Ruby’s car. Emma grew impatient. She couldn’t wait to see Regina again. They had arranged to meet around 9 pm in a café that was located a little of the festival. She must come up with an excuse later. 

“Emma!” Lily yelled right into her ear. 

She winced, “What the hell? Not so loud.”

“I called three times for you, girl,” she laughed, “What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

Emma shrugged but couldn’t hide her grin. “Come on, now. Who’s the lucky one?” Before she could say anything, Ruby stepped in. “Let her be. She’ll tell us when she’s ready,” she said, staring straight ahead.   
Damn, Emma thought. She sounded mad. Rightfully so, Emma had to admit. 

______________________

 

“Come on, Rubes. Don’t be mad,” Emma pleaded, while she was walking with Ruby a few steps behind Graham and Lily. Her friend just pouted. “Ruby, please.”

“I feel like a fool, Em. You’re head over heels in love, which one can see from a 50 yard distance by the way, and you didn’t tell me!” Ruby crossed her arms. “You were the first one to know about Graham, and you’re the first person I call when something happens.” 

Emma nodded, but was caught off guard by Ruby’s words. In love? Head over heels? Was she? Her heart started pounding and then there were goose pumps all over her, as if her body just rubbed it under her nose and, ‘Oh, God; I am’. Who was she trying to fool anyway? Her friend was still ranting, so she interrupted her, “Rubes, stop. Listen to me.” 

"Well, I'm all ears," she replied.

"It’s very … new, I swear. I’m not even sure what exactly we are absolutely no one knows. I'll tell you, but not now okay, let's have fun today and tomorrow for breakfast and then I'll tell you everything.”   
“Everything, Em. I want to know everything!” she demanded. The Emma couldn’t help but laugh, and promised her friend she would tell her every detail. “Oh, look. Graham told me about his new friend. I think she’s here,” Ruby said then, pointing to the mass in front of them.

It was pretty crowded with people everywhere. Emma saw Graham and Lily talking to someone. Ruby took her by her hand and pulled her through the crowd. “Babe,” Graham smiled and kissed Ruby as they reached them. He tapped the shoulder of the person who was standing with their back to us. When said person turned around, Emma inhaled sharply. “Ruby, Emma, that’s my friend, Regina.” 

‘Your friend Regina? Your friend? No. No, no, no, no. This is my Regina. MY Regina!’ Emma was freaking out, she was totally shocked. ‘Oh, God. Why didn’t I know about that?’ Regina herself looked quite surprised. Regina gave Emma a once over from head to toe, her eyes sparkling with longing, and Emma gasped lightly, clenching her legs together. ‘Oh, shit!’ 

Emma cleared her throat. “Hi, Regina, it’s nice to meet you,” she said, and prayed the tremor in her voice wasn’t so obvious. She offered a hand. “”Please, please, please, play along. That couldn’t happen. Not here. Not now.”” Regina’s lips twitched, amused. Finally she took her hand and squeezed it … maybe a tad too long. “”Oh, dear God.”” If it were up to Emma, she wouldn’t let go of Regina’s hand at all. 

“Nice to meet you, too,” Regina replied politely. 

Suddenly nearby shouting filled the air. Grateful for the distraction, Emma tapped Regina on her shoulder. When their eyes met, she briefly put a finger to her mouth and whispered, “Please.” Regina nodded quickly, and immediately the tension in Emma’s body dissolved. 

Since it looked like there was going to be a fight – Leroy, the town drunk was yelling like crazy – the group made their way further down. 

“Guys, I’ll be back later. I’ve a date,” Lily said and winked, before she left. 

“Let’s go to the Ferris wheel, Babe,” Graham said, cheerful and utterly in love. Ruby shot Emma an apologetic look as Graham pulled her behind him. 

“Why, look, it’s just the two of us,” Regina smiled. 

Emma grinned widely, shaking her head, “What a coincidence.” 

“Fate, dear, it’s called fate.” Regina reached for Emma’s hand and led her away from the crowed. Anxious, Emma withdrew it. There were so many people who knew her! Her heart was beating wildly.

"Regina, if someone sees me alone with you, holding hands, then I'm as good as dead!" she said in a stifled voice. 

"Damn! I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Let's go to the parking lot. Or I don’t know, somewhere where it's dark.”

The Regina nodded in agreement and headed to a secluded spot through the parking lot across from the fair. Emma followed behind her. Regina went right to her car and got inside. The Emma quickly looked around and then followed. 

“I feel like I’m committing a crime,” Emma said breathless as she closed the door.   
“Don’t say that,” Regina replied sadly. 

"But this crime feels good," she giggled. Grinning, Regina took Emma’s hand kissing the back letting her mouth linger. But then Emma grabbed Regina’s face, pulling her in for a kiss.   
A surprised moan escaped Regina’s throat as Emma’s tongue demanded entrance. Finally, their tongues met for the first time. A shiver ran through Regina’s body, her hands sneaking in behind Emma’s neck, grabbing a fistful blonde hair. Emma moaned as Regina pulled her head back letting her mouth wander down her throat. 

“Oh, fuck,” Emma moaned. Funny things happened to her core, as Regina lightly bit down on her sensitive skin below her ear, soothing the bite with her tongue. Emma searched for Regina’s mouth, kissing her passionately, sucking on her lower lip. 

Regina’s moan was swallowed by Emma, but then Emma’s hand snaked under Regina’s blouse, caressing her naked skin, and that’s when she had to break the kiss. “Emma,” she panted hard, leaning her forehead against Emma’s. “Stop.” 

Emma blushed furiously and started to withdraw, but Regina held her in place. She smiled, grabbing Emma’s face, looking deep in her eyes, “There’s nothing I’d rather do than kiss you, Emma. Trust me,” Regina kissed her nose, making her giggle. ""Oh, dear God,"" Regina thought, ""I will never get tired of hearing that sound."" "But if we keep doing that right now, I’m not sure if I … well, you ruined my panties.” 

Emma’s eyes grew wide, “Oh.”

Regina grinned and nodded. “Emma, you are very special to me and I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for. Especially not in a car. You deserve better.” A tender kiss followed, their lips moving lazily. They were both smiling into the kiss, and Emma was so happy in that moment, she was afraid she would burst. 

How could she have known, that the rest of the evening would end in a disaster?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I can't wait to write the next chapters and bring more "action" in. I hope you all like it so far.
> 
> Oh, one more thing, I finally decided that I'll write Emma's and Regina's first time together ... it will be so, so, so, so beautiful, can't wait for you guys to read it!

„Hey, Em. Where’s Regina?” Ruby asked as Emma reached the cotton candy stand. Her friend and Graham had been waiting for her.

  
“She had gotten a call and had to leave,” the blonde replied truthfully. The ringing of Regina’s phone had pulled the two girls out of their little bubble. It was Regina’s mother, she had to leave immediately. Emma didn’t exactly know what was happening, and she certainly couldn’t interfere in Regina’s family stuff, so she’d just kiss her goodbye and headed back to the others.

 

"Oh, she said to me today that she just came to meet someone. I think she has a girlfriend," Graham said. Ruby’s eyes grew wide as she stared at her fiancé. Graham laughed, “Yeah, babe. She’s gay.”

  
“Oh, wow, well,” Ruby sounded very surprised and shot Emma a short look.

  
Graham grabbed Ruby by her waist and pulled her into his chest, kissing her temple. “I think she’s pretty in love. Head over heels … just like me,” he said, searching for Ruby’s eyes and kissing her passionately. 

Emma thanked God that her friends were busy with themselves, otherwise they would have seen Emma’s burning cheeks and her ridiculously bright smile. She turned around and bought a cotton candy, while her body was still vibrating from the encounter with Regina. A delightful shudder ran through her as she thought about Regina’s words and her velvety lips. Emma felt blissfully happy, because Regina’s ‘I’ll call you later, angel’ let no doubt that they were a couple.

 

Around 11 pm Emma was getting bored. There was no trace of Lily, Ruby and Graham didn’t let her alone, though the two were so lost in each other, sharing light kisses and smitten looks, Emma started to feel like a third wheel. Emma sighed as she bit into her glaze apple, when suddenly someone appeared behind her, covering her eyes.

  
“The hell? Let me go!” Emma shrieked, panicked.   
“Nope,” the person hissed in her ear.

  
_‘This voice …’_

  
“August Wayne Booth!” Emma yelled, tearing herself of his grip and turning around. “You’re an asshole!” she said, before her arms circled around his neck, hugging him tight.

  
“Woah, Swan, calm down you’re crushing me to death,” August laughed, amused.

  
Emma ignored his words and hugged him even tighter. Seeing him again after such a long time felt so good. They grew up together, but five years ago August moved to the enchanted forest.   
They sat down, drinking, and talking like old times. Ruby was happy to see him, too. Something Graham wasn’t so fond of, Emma noticed as she saw the jealous look on his face. ‘Cute’ she smirked. Although Graham had absolutely no reason for the jealousy. August and his girlfriend had been together since … well, forever. They were soul mates, like a fairy tale couple. Somehow Emma envied the two because such relationships were rarely present these days.

  
“Come on, bumper cars,” August said at once.

  
‘Oh no, what if Bae sees me?’ Emma thought. The idiot would probably run to Papa, spreading rumors.

  
“Oh, come on, Em. Please, please, please. Pretty please?” August pleaded, when he realized that Emma was hesitating.

  
He looked at her with his big wide blue eyes, pouting like a five year old. Emma rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her grin. He fist bump the air, when Emma agreed. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her, to the cars. As soon as the current ride ended, they sat down. The rest of the cars were also quickly occupied. August drove like crazy, each time he bumped with full force into the others. His laughter was really contagious, he made funny faces, making Emma laugh.

  
“Oh, what? Already over?” August said, disappointed, as the round ended. He rose and held his hand out for Emma. As the blonde got out, August smiled widely, “It was fun, wasn’t it?” He pressed a friendly, chaste kiss on Emma’s hand.

  
She grinned too nodding in agreement, but as she glanced over his shoulder, Emma tore her hand away in shock. Bae was standing about ten feet away, and suddenly came stomping toward them.

  
“Don’t touch my sister, jerk!” Bae yelled and hit August against his chest. Emma’s friend was totally taken aback and had no idea what was going on.   
"Bae! Have you lost your mind?” Emma shouted, horrified. “He’s just a friend!”   
"Shut your mouth, bitch! Go home!"

  
What the? Had he seriously just called her a bitch, in front of all those people? A lot of people had gathered around them, craning their necks in curiosity. Emma’s head was pounding, her hands clenched to fists, ready to beat the crap out of her goddamned brother, but August reached for her arm and pulled her back. “Don’t, Em,” he whispered, “Let’s go.”

  
But before they could even move, Bae went back to him! This time though August reacted faster, grabbed Bae by the shoulders and pushed him to the ground.

  
"Listen, little one. I am 20 years old and I will not beat you, especially since you are Emma’s brother. But let it go now, understand?" August tried to persuade him.

  
Emma’s eyes searched desperately for Ruby, but she couldn’t find her. Probably there were just too many people here who had practically surrounded them. All of a sudden, about five people came to a stand behind Bae. Emma knew two of them. ‘Holy shit!’ These were the sons of Papa's friend. ‘I am dead. Oh yeah, I am so dead.’ Emma thought.

  
She pulled August up by the sleeve and tried to pull him away. Bae stood up again and jumped at him. "Bae, stop it!" Emma yelled, walking in between.

  
Instead of stopping, he pushed the blonde away. Emma lost her balance and fell to the ground. Then Bae shouted a few words to the guys behind him and suddenly these 5 monsters started beating on August! Panic rose inside Emma. Cursing, she rattled herself up, but then a strong hand held her in place.

 

“You better keep your nose clean.”

  
What the hell? Killian? Was that some kind of bad joke? What was he doing here? Full of horror Emma saw how these assholes hit August. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. ‘It’s my fault, my damn fault!’ she thought in vain she tried to get rid of Killian.

  
“Let him go! Let him go, stop, please," Emma shrieked as loudly as she could. She turned to Killian, “What kind of bastard are you? Call your dog’s back! Call them back!” she demanded.   
Shocked and completely helpless Emma had to see how August was lying on the ground, no longer resisting. Weeping, she dropped to her knees. Tear after tear rolled down her cheek. "Stop, please stop," Emma sobbed.

  
No one did anything! They just stood there and looked at it as if it was a show, even enjoying themselves. No one bothered to call the police. Disgusting inhumanity! Emma buried her face in her hands and sobbed, she couldn’t bear the sight of her friend anymore.

  
“Got up, Bitch. Go home.”

  
Bae grabbed Emma’s arm and pulled her up. She slapped his hand away and shot him a murderous look. The guys had stopped beating August, but they were still standing around him. “You’ll regret that, Bae,” Emma whispered furiously, “I swear to God, you’ll regret that!” She ran to August and knelt beside him.

  
“August … August, I’m so sorry,” Emma said barely audible. Her voice was trembling and once again she burst into tears. He was covered in blood, his face twisted with pain. “Are you okay?” she asked.   
Before she got an answer, Emma once again was pulled up. This time from Killian. He grabbed Emma by the wrist. Emma tried to break away, but his grip was too strong.

  
"Who do you think you are? Don’t touch me!” Emma cried angrily.  
"Bae, I'll drive your sister home now.”

  
What the hell? How did they know each other? Bae just nodded and disappeared through the crowd. The monsters were still standing around them.

  
"Let go off me, you asshole! I have to drive him to the hospital!” Emma shouted angrily.

  
"Now, now, look. This can be done by someone else. You're coming with me, otherwise I'll let the guys play a bit more," he threatened, a smirk on his lips.

  
Fucking bastard! As Emma glanced at August, she saw that Ruby and Graham were helping him. Killian’s grip around her wrist became stronger, he probably meant what he just said. Emma gave in, she couldn’t risk it. "Ruby, take him to the hospital. I'll call you afterwards!” Emma shouted through the masses of people, which slowly but surely dissolved. Immediately after, Killian pulled her toward the parking lot.

 

"You're a fucking asshole," Emma hissed angrily.  
  
At last he let go of her. Pissed off, Emma soothed her aching wrist.   
  
“You think so, luv?”  
“No. I KNOW IT!”   
  
He just smirked and kept going. “Hop in,” he demanded, as they reached his car.   
  
He wanted to reach for her arm, but Emma took a step back. "No need to touch me!” she said annoyed. Killian raised his hands in surrender, stepping around the car and got into his car. A sigh escaped Emma’s throat, as she followed him into the car. She let her head rest against the window and closed her eyes.   
_______________________

Regina paced back and forth in her living room, shaking her head in disbelief. Her mother was sitting in the armchair with a perfectly straight back and raised chin, like the Queen she was. It drove Regina crazy! Finally the brunette came to a stand next to her mother.   
  
“I can’t believe you, mother! I thought you were dying!”   
  
The Queen chuckled lightly, and that was the moment when Regina lost it.   
  
“That’s not funny, for God’s sake!” she yelled. “You can’t just call me whenever you want, pretending you’re sick, pulling me out of my life and scaring the shit out of me! I have one, you know? A life, an actual life! And I’m sick and tired of -”   
  
“Enough!”   
  
Cora’s sharp voice ended Regina’s angry rant. She was panting hard, as if she just finished a marathon. Her face was red, her body shaking with fury.   
“Sit down, darling. I do not like it when someone talks above me.” When Regina didn’t move, the Queens behavior changed. “Sit down, Regina. That is an order,” she demanded. Regina fought hard, not backing off of the staring contest, but eventually she obeyed.   
  
“When I call you, I expect you to come, Regina. That does not change just because you are living in Storybrooke for the moment.”   
“For the moment?” Regina huffed in disbelief.   
“Drop it!” Cora warned. “Have I disturbed your night?”   
“Yes, you have.”   
“Your night with … that girl.”   
  
Regina opened her mouth to say something, but she was unable to form words. _Damn you, Sidney!_   
  
“Are you still not over that, darling?”  
  
“Over what, mother? Being bisexual? Enjoying both men’s and women’s company? Enjoying both male and female genitals? No, mother. I’m STILL not over it. To be honest, I doubt I will anytime soon. Sorry to disappoint you.”   
  
Regina smiled sweetly, happy to see the displeased look on her mother’s face. The Queen rose to her feet, clearing her throat. “I will ignore and forgive the disrespectful words along with inappropriate behavior, for your sake, Regina. I will return soon so we can talk like civilized people. For now, have a good night.”   
  
And then she was gone, leaving behind purple smoke and a frustrated Regina.   
  
______________________________________

Emma couldn’t stop thinking of August. He looked really bad, and it was all her fault. She shouldn’t have drove with that stupid bumper car in the first place. Her phone vibrated. She froze as she took it out of her clutch, seeing a message from Regina. ‘Oh, no. Totally wrong moment.’ The blonde thought, turning her phone off and putting it back in her clutch.   
  
Two minutes later, Killian stopped in front of her house. Where the hell did he even know where she lived? Not even Regina knew! Without a word, Emma got out of the car and wanted to go right into the house, but Killian blocked her path.   
  
“Not even a thank you?”   
“For beating the shit out of my friend? Fuck off, wanker!”   
  
Emma wanted to pass him, but suddenly he grabbed her by the waist …

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please, please. Review, review, review!
> 
> I could use some motivation :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First, a trigger warning, cause it's going to be a pretty violent chapter. 
> 
> I think it's really sad that there are people who judge too quickly and won't give the story a chance because of the way Emma is written. I wouldn't call her pathetic. Weak, yes, scared, yes, but not pathetic. She can't be strong and bad-ass, not yet, because she was raised by a violent stepfather and a helpless mother. And yeah ... Of course I can't force anyone to read. All I can do is; write my story the way I want it to and hope that people stick around, because ... well, it will be worth it, I'm sure. And one thing I can promise: Weeks or even months waiting for the next chapter? - there will be no such thing. I'll update regularly, cause I know waiting sucks :)

„Uh, sassy. I like it," Killian hummed.

"How dare you! Let go of me, immediately!" His grip around her waist grew stronger, Emma didn't even have a chance to move.

"Who was that guy?"

"My boyfriend," Emma lied right in his face, "we're together."

She was still trying to free herself from him, but she just couldn't. He was too strong! Slowly but surely, she was running out of air. Killian looked at her somehow … weird. Emma had no idea what was going on in his head. As his face approached slowly, the blonde quickly turned her head aside.

"You're lying, aren't you, luv?" He breathed close to her ear.

That son of a bitch! Emma's hands were so sweaty that she dropped her clutch. She just wanted to scream at him again, but then Killian pressed his lips against her mouth. Two seconds later his grip loosened. Emma pushed him with full force from her and gave him a resounding slap. The Emma just stood there, speechless, and shaking. She closed her eyes, gasping for air. It was suddenly so quiet that she could hear her heart pounding against her chest. As she opened her eyes, she saw him, grinning, standing in front of her. 'Who does he think he is?' First he lets August be beaten, then he forces her to drive with him and then he kisses her. Like, what the fuck? On her doorstep, for God's sake!

"Listen, you idiot," Emma started, "Don't touch me EVER again! Am I clear?"

Her voice trembling as badly as her knees. Without saying another word, Emma walked passed him, unlocked the door and got in. She got out of her high heels and let herself sink against the door. It was quite late and slightly chilly. But that wasn't the reason why her whole body was trembling. Today was just too much for her. She had absolutely not expected that within a few hours so many things would happen.

The tears flowed unconsciously, as Emma wiped them away, again and again. After a few minutes, she finally got up and went upstairs under the shower. The pleasantly cool water made sure that she could think clearly again. She thought about Bae … How could one do such a thing to his own sister? She hated him and told herself that one day Karma would hit him hard.

Once in her room Emma made herself ready for bed and then snuggled into the blanket. She called Regina, but she didn't tell her about it. Emma didn't exactly know why. Maybe she was scared of her reaction. She had absolutely no desire to cause more trouble. Besides, Regina clearly had her own problems and she didn't want to burden her unnecessarily with hers. She thought it was simply too soon for such a thing.

* * *

 

The next morning Ruby came by. The shock was still visible in Emma's face. Thank God, August was okay. Ruby said that except for a black and blue eye, a bloody nose and a few bruises, the injuries were not too bad. As if that weren't enough! Emma was boiling with rage! Somehow she had that awful feeling that this incident had broken their friendship. She explained briefly what had happened, when I then told of Killian's kiss, Ruby freaked out. Rightfully so!

"What was he thinking? Such an ass!"

"Yeah, right? I was totally baffled and speechless."

"Arrogant asshole! How does he know Bae?" Ruby asked, shaking her head.

"I have absolutely no idea, Rubes. Above all, he knows where I live! Not even Regina knows that!" the blonde muttered.

"Regina?" Ruby said confused. "Why would she know where …" she paused in the middle of the sentence, staring at Emma in disbelief, while her eyes grew wide, putting two and two together. "No way," she whispered. "Emma Swan! No fucking way!"

As Ruby's grinned from ear to ear, shrieking happily, clapping her hands and jumping up and down in excitement, Emma's miserable mood changed instantly and she felt relief flooding her body. Her friend was so excited, she couldn't stop giggling. Emma grinned too and told Ruby about her and Regina.

"You are a dream couple, Em! I swear, everyone will envy you."

"Nobody knows about it and this is supposed to remain that way - for now," the she demanded.

"My lips are sealed," Ruby grinned, but then frowned when she saw the change in Emma's face. "What's wrong?" she asked, taking hold of her friend's hands.

"Somehow I … I don't know, Rubes. I'm scared. I have such a bad feeling about this whole situation, and as much as I want too, I just can't shake it off. It's … as if I'm sure that something bad will happen."

Ruby sighed, closing her eyes, "And then there's your mum. And Ass-hat, Robert."

Emma couldn't help but laugh at that. "How is that you always find new words to insult him?" Her friend just shrugged, before Emma went on, "Yeah, right. Mum. She's like the most religious person I know, aside the nuns. Holy crap, I'm gay. She'll freak out and hate me for the rest of my life."

"Nonsense! She's your mum, she'll love you no matter what," her friend replied.

Emma raised an eyebrow, not really convinced and even Ruby didn't sound sure. Nevertheless, she hoped her friend would be right. All she wanted was that her relationship with Regina would work out. She couldn't care less about Killian and hoped she would never see him again.

* * *

 

They were having a great time when Emma's parents came back later that week, the house full of visitors. Her parents had been on a trip to the Enchanted Forest, with Neal and Tamara's family for some wedding preparations. Neal looked so happy, he was radiating.

Bae hadn't told anything to Papa, probably because Emma had blackmailed him with the joints she had found in his room.

Papa as always had his grim expression on. Emma noticed her mother's tiredness, but she also seemed satisfied and happy, and did not want her smile to disappear. That's why she kept her mouth shut and didn't say anything about the stuff that had happened in their absence.

A mistake, a big mistake, as it would turn out.

When everyone had left, just before midnight, the house telephone rang. Since no one was close, Emma answered the call.

"Hi?"

"Hello, I am George, Robert's work colleague. Is he still awake?"

'Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!' Emma's heart jumped in her throat. Panicked, she looked around. Why was he calling so late? He surely wanted to tell Papa about the fight. She thought about lying and just hanging up, but suddenly Robert appeared behind her.

"Who are you talking to?" He asked suspiciously.

Emma swallowed once, and then, with a trembling hand, handed him the receiver. "Your colleague."

Quickly she stepped out of the living room. With a sinking feeling she went to the kitchen, where her mother was sipping on a cup of tea. 'At least Neal's not here,' Emma thought. She could not handle her brother's helplessness every time her Papa went nuts.

"Mum," Emma started with a trembling voice, "if Papa freaks out now, please don't interfere."

Her mother furrowed her brows in confusing, "Emma, honey, what are you –"

Before she could finish her question, a deafening scream came from the living room. "Emma!" Robert growled.

Mary Margaret stood up so hastily that her chair tilted backwards and crashed to the ground. She seemed so pale and fragile, Emma saw fear in her eyes. She closed her own, took a deep breath and prepared herself for the worst.

"Emma, honey, what happened?" her mother wanted to know.

"A mistake, a misunderstanding," she replied barely audible.

Emma turned and saw Papa standing on the kitchen threshold. His eyes glittered with hatred. He came up to her, pushed Mary Margaret away, who had placed herself in front of her daughter, and grabbed Emma roughly by the hair. He pulled her hair back, so she had to face him directly. With the other hand, he hit her stomach once. She gasped.

"Robert!" Mary Margaret cried out and clung to his arm.

"The entire town is talking about us. Thanks to that whore," he spat out the word, "there was a fight a few days ago, since your daughter can not hold her legs together!" He tore himself from Mary Margaret's grip and hit Emma once again. As the fist collided with her face, suddenly she felt numb, there was no pain.

"No one told them to fight," she said quietly.

"What did you say?" Robert hissed. The next blow followed, this time with his flat hand. Then, there's a sudden shift of the air. Emma went cold, once again panic took hold of her – Magic.

She went flying through the kitchen, her back hitting the wall as she cried out. Without touching her, Robert forced her to her feet, pushing her against the wall and squeezing the air out of her lungs.

"Robert, please. I'm begging you, stop," Emma heard her mother sobbing. Tears burred her vision – tears of rage! Mom's pleading, was like a stab in her heart.

"Who's that guy?" Papa yelled.

"No one, he's … he's just an old school friend."

Emma could hardly speak, for his grip grew stronger. He hit her a few more times, ignoring her mother's pleas, before he finally let go of her. Slowly Emma slide along the wall. Mary Margaret knelt next to her, took her daughter in her arms and gently rubbed her back. All the while she whispered "I'm sorry" into her ear.

"Everyone is talking about you, about us!" Robert shouted. "Aren't you ashamed?"

"Why should I? I did nothing wrong, it was just a –"

"Shut up!" he cut her off. "Since you can't keep your legs together, you should get married." He cursed one more time and then disappeared from the kitchen.

There she sat on the floor, while her mother stroked her hair and whispered soothing words into her ear. She heard nothing. As if in a trance, she stared into the air. Helpless. Confused. Shocked. Yeah, that's exactly how she felt. Her mind went crazy with thoughts and emotions. She should ... She should get married? Had she just heard right? He couldn't do that. No.

Suddenly she felt cold. She was freezing! Only her face burned. From the blows. Blows she once again hadn't deserved. But it didn't hurt. The only pain she felt was deep inside her. In her soul. Her Papa's words ached more than a thousand punches.

"Mum?" the blonde whispered and broke the silence that had settled over the kitchen.

"Yes, honey?"

"He can't do that, can he? He can't force me to merry, he can't throw me out? He can't do that, right?"

Her voice was a desperate whisper. She sounded so pathetic, so weak, she was disgusted by herself, and the worst part was, that she got no answer. As her mother gently stroked her cheek, Emma winced.

"Does it hurt?" Mary Margaret asked.

She shook her head and pointed at her heart, "Here it hurts," Emma whimpered softly, trying not to cry and failing poorly. A loud sob made Emma sit up. Mary Margaret had stood up, her face buried in her hands, and was crying aloud. No. No, no, no.

"Mum, please don't cry," Emma pleaded. She too stood up, wiped her tears away, and was about to take her mother in her arms, when Mary Margaret suddenly wavered sideways. Emma grabbed her elbow to steady her.

"Mum? Mum, what's wrong, are you okay?" Emma asked.

"My blood pressure. It's just my blood pressure," her mother replied weakly.

While Mary Margaret took a seat, Emma grabbed a glass of water, "Drink," she said. Her mother drank a sip, while tears were streaming down her cheeks. She looked so tired with the dark circles under her eyes and she had lost even more weight.

"I'll take you to the hospital," Emma said.

"NO!" her mother cried at once. She stood up, reached out and cupped Emma's cheek lightly. "I'm fine, honey," she sniffed, "I'm just … I'm so sorry that I can't help you. Forgive me for my weakness."

Mary Margaret's lip trembled. It hurt so badly that she blamed herself. Before Emma burst into tears, she hugged her mother tightly and buried her face in her chest.

* * *

 

"I want to see you, Emma. Now!"

Emma had been talking to Regina for over an hour. Actually, they wanted to meet yesterday, but after the awful night, from which she got some nasty bruises, Emma decided otherwise. She couldn't possibly face Regina like that. Nope, no way.

Her eye was black and blue, her face had been extremely swollen, but since Emma cooled it all the time it seemed almost back to normal. As if that wasn't enough, every time she took a breath it hurt like a bitch.

"Regina, I can't get out now, it's way too late. If Papa caught me –"

"That's what you said yesterday," she replied, "Don't you want to see me? What is the problem? If you don't want to see me then just say it. I … I thought –"

"No!" Emma cut her off. "Regina, stop, that's not it. I … I'm just tired, okay? That's all, I promise," she said. Tears were running quietly down her cheek and her voice was trembling, she just hoped that Regina didn't notice. But, of course, she did.

"Emma, babe, what's wrong? I know something's wrong. Please talk to me."

"Regina … I …"

"I need to see you, Emma. I need to take you in my arms, I need to comfort you and tell you that everything will be alright. I need to look into your eyes, when I do that. Please."

Her gentle voice was like medicine. Medicine that drove every pain away and healed the soul. Regina was all Emma wanted at the moment, all she needed. But she was afraid to face her.

"In 20 minutes I'll be waiting for you two streets down from Granny's."

"But, Regina –"

"No but's!" the Regina interrupted. "If you don't show up, I'll knock on every damn door of this town until I find you. I mean it, Emma."

And then … bam, she hung up. Crap! Emma stood up and glanced in the mirror. She grabbed her make-up and went to work. She would cover the bruises, yes. Thank God, it was just after midnight and the streets here were only dimly lit. And since the others were all fast asleep, Emma wouldn't have any problems sneaking out. She had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: Please, guys! Let me know what you think, let me know about your speculations, and please; feel free to PM me if you have questions!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’ve noticed that some of you may have lost interest in the story, because it is pretty dark. I should have mentioned that I am a new writer and English is a second language for me. I don’t do that much fluff, I prefer drama and angst, I like it dark and twisted, I’m that kind of writer and I’m not sorry for that. 
> 
> I am sorry, however, if you got the feeling that this is a CS story, because, hell no, it is a SQ story, and you’ll see it, if you choose to stay along for the ride. It will get worse before it gets better, but it will be so worth it, because SwanQueen is ENDGAME! No matter what will happen in the story, just have it in your mind that our ladies will have a happily ever after. 
> 
> With my story I want to show everyone that True Love is worth fighting for, no matter what one has to endure to reach their ultimate goal and no matter how much time passes. True Love will win – always. So please, leave Reviews so I can know your wishes and hopes, and give the story a chance!

 

  
It was quite cool and although Emma had pulled on a thick hoodie, she shivered as she ran down the street. She recognized Regina’s car. The brunette was leaning against the black Benz and there was a … rose on the hood of the car. Emma couldn’t help but smile widely.

“What’s so funny?” Regina asked, as Emma finally reached her.  
  
“Nothing,” the blonde grinned, “It’s just … kind of cute,” she said, pointing at the rose.  
  
“I don’t do cute,” Regina scoffed, though she couldn’t hide the twitch of her lips. “Besides, who says it’s for you?” Just a second later she broke out in laughter, pulling Emma in her arms. They stood there for a long time, enjoying being in each other’s arms. Even though Emma’s ribs hurt, she didn’t pull away. She didn’t want to, so she ignored the pain. After a while Regina pulled away, kissed Emma lightly on her lips, searching for her eyes.  
  
“Hi,” Emma whispered, blushing under Regina’s intense gaze.  
  
“Hey,” the brunette smiled, tucking a loose strand of blond hair behind Emma’s ear. “I missed you so much, it’s crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you, every minute I want to be near you,” Regina said softly, raising Emma’s chin.  
  
“I missed you, too. I … I need you,” Emma admitted. Her voice was just a whisper, as she clung to Regina’s arms. Their lips found each other’s again in a tender kiss, exploring each other without rush. Because they had all the time in the world, right?  
  
When they parted, Regina took the rose and handed it to Emma, who grinned.  
  
“Okay, okay, it is for you,” Regina said, kissing her again. She just couldn’t get enough of those soft lips. Emma nuzzled her face in Regina’s neck, dropping a kiss just below her ear. She laughed when the brunette shuddered and let out a small moan. “Tease,” Regina said, shoving the blonde playfully.  
  
“Thanks for the rose. It’s beautiful,” Emma said, still laughing.  
  
“I love your laugh. I’ll die if it ever stops.”  
  
“A bit too cheesy, don’t you think?” the blonde chuckled, but blushed nonetheless.  
  
“It is, isn’t it? Dear God,” Regina groaned, “Look what you did to me! I’m not that kind of woman!” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. But then she started laughing, grabbed Emma by her waist and whirled her around.  
  
"Ah fuck," Emma cried out in pain.  
  
Immediately Regina let go of her, with a worried look on her face. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”  
  
“No, no, it’s alright,” the blonde replied, “I just … I got hurt a few days ago.”  
  
Regina raised an eyebrow questioningly, but thank God the ringing of her phone distracted her from the topic. She went to the driver's door and opened it. The brunette grabbed her phone and smiled, “It is Philip. I promised him an answer –,” As Regina raised her head to look at Emma, she trailed off mid-sentence. The car light shone straight to the blonde’s face – her bruised and slightly swollen face!  
Regina’s smile disappeared. She threw the cell phone on the passenger seat without paying attention to the ringing. Then she got out, leaving the door open. When she stood in front of Emma, she grabbed the blonde’s chin and raised her face. Regina was furious, she was raging with anger. Emma had never seen her like that before.  
  
"What ... who ... who did this to you?" Regina asked, her voice dangerously low.  
  
Emma’s heart was beating so hard, she feared it would jump out of her chest. _‘Stupid, stupid girl!’ She cursed inwardly. ‘I should have known she would notice!’_ She searched her brain for an answer, but all she could produce was a weak, “I fell down the stairs.”  
  
“Don’t lie to me!”  
  
Regina shouted so unexpectedly that Emma flinched.  
  
“Why are you lying?” the brunette wanted to know.  
  
“Regina, please, not so loud. If someone hears us.”  
  
The brunette hit the car hood violently and cursed. Emma closed her eyes, dropped the rose, and held her ears. _‘No! No, no, no, no! Why do I always screw everything up? Why, why, why?’_  
  
“Emma, babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry,” Regina spoke softly, and reached for Emma’s wrists. “Your father?” she asked.  
  
Emma’s eyes were still closed, but she nodded slowly.  
  
“Because of the incident at the Miner’s day?”  
  
Shocked, Emma opened her eyes. How did Regina know about it?  
  
“Graham told me,” the brunette answered her unspoken question.  
  
“Why … why didn’t you say anything? That … you knew,” Emma stuttered.  
  
“Because I’ve been waiting for you to tell me.”  
  
She sounded disappointed and hurt, and Emma felt like a piece of shit. She should have told her the same evening, she should have, but she was a coward. A stupid, fucking coward!  
  
“Regina … August … he’s just friend,” Emma said quietly, and felt a pang in her heart, when Regina let go of her hands and turned around. "Regina, I swear, he's just an old school friend!" Emma whispered desperately.  
  
"Then why did they hit him?"

She turned around again, facing the blonde, but made no effort to approach her.  
  
"Bae … my stupid brother ... he misunderstood the situation and his shit friends went all over August, it escalated," Emma replied truthfully. She also wanted to tell Regina about that asshole, Killian, but it wasn’t the right moment.  
  
Slowly Emma walked towards her and put her hands on Regina’s cheeks.  
  
"Regina …,” she said softly, “Do you think I have eyes for someone else when I have someone like you?"  
  
Emma closed her eyes and kissed her gently. Finally, she felt the brunette’s hands on her back, pressing her closer against her body. The kiss became more intense. Passion and a hint of despair were thrown into this kiss. It was as if the two of them wanted to convey all the thoughts and feelings they couldn’t yet say. As their lips parted, gasping loudly for air, Regina leaned her forehead against the blonde’s.  
  
“I lo … I really care about you, Emma.”  
  
Silence followed. They both knew what Regina had wanted to say. A part of Emma was disappointed that she didn’t say it, but the other part was relieved. Everything went so fast, she felt terrified. The blonde was sure about her own feelings, but that didn’t prevent her from almost freaking out.  
  
"I know we’ve only known each other for some time, Emma. But ... but I need you. You're the person I've always dreamed of. When I saw your bruises ... I can’t stand it if someone hurts you. The thought of someone raising their hand against you ... it … it destroys me! Since I’ve known you, nothing else matters… I can’t even believe it myself. And hell yes, it terrifies me! I’m not good at … well, expressing my feelings. I was never that kind of person. But you have turned my life completely upside down, Emma!”  
  
Regina took a step back and looked at Emma expectantly. The blonde was totally … taken aback. She hadn’t expected that kind of confession, Regina’s little speech had literally overwhelmed her.  
  
“Why … why are you looking so sad?” Regina asked, tensed.  
  
The blonde let out a small sigh and massaged her temples.  
  
“I’m not sad. I’m just … disappointed.”  
  
She saw how Regina opened her mouth several times and then closed it again. Apparently she didn’t know what to say. Emma decided to put the brunette out of her misery.  
  
"I’m disappointed with myself, because I was planning on that kind of speech myself," Emma added softly. A little embarrassed, she lowered her gaze, but then looked towards the brunette and carefully put her arms around her neck. Regina grinned at her, amused, and dropped a kiss at the tip of her nose.  
  
“You had me freaking out there. I thought I was rushing you and had messed up,” Regina replied, relieved.  
  
“You didn’t. If someone can mess this up, it’s me. I have a tendency to screw up every good thing in my life. You should know that –“  
  
“Stop it, Emma,” the brunette cut her off. “Stop being so self-conscious. I guess your damn stepfather beat those thoughts into you, but darling, you’re amazing. You’re kind, and beautiful, and sexy, and charming, and adorable, and funny, and hot as hell, and oh, did I say sexy?”  
  
Emma giggled and kissed Regina so hard, she surprised herself. Their tongues danced for a while, relishing the taste of each other, as they moaned in delight.  
  
“Why, thank you,” Regina breathed out, as they parted. “I could get used to that, you know?”  
  
Emma reached out and ran a finger over the brunette’s lower lip, “You should,” she said quietly.  
  
“One more thing, though. If that piece of shit touches you ever again, I’ll end him, I swear, Emma –“  
  
“Regina, no, stop! Stop!” the blonde cut her off as panic washed over her body. “You’ll not go near him! Ever! Please, promise me, you have to stay away from him!”  
  
“But –“  
  
“No! No, no, no! You don’t get it, Regina! He has magic, he is powerful. You have no idea what he’s capable of! He could hurt you, for God’s sake! Promise me, right now! Promise me, Regina!” Emma begged with tears in her eyes.

  
She looked so afraid and her whole body started shaking. Regina felt horrible.

  
“Magic is bad, it’s evil. He could hurt you. He WOULD hurt you without batting an eyelash! I couldn’t handle that, I would never forgive myself. I can’t … please, Regina. Promise me!”

  
By the time she finished her rant, tears were falling down her face. Regina was simply stunned. Never had someone shown so much concern for her – not even her own mother! Her affection for the blonde grew stronger with every minute, if it was even possible. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Emma that she herself had magic, not yet. The blonde seemed truly afraid of it.

  
“It is okay, Emma. I won’t do anything stupid, I promise.”

  
“I … you mean a lot to me, Regina. And you have no idea how happy I am that you feel the same, but hell, I’m so scared! I’m so scared that it won’t work out and believe me, that’s all I want."

  
“There’s no need to be scared, dear,” Regina tried to calm her. She hugged Emma – this time careful not to hurt her – stroked her back and kissed her head over and over. The blonde felt so safe in her arms. “We will make it work, Emma,” Regina breathed into her ear, “Together. Nothing and nobody can separate us, I promise you.”

  
Emma still wonders why people make promises they can’t keep.  
___________________

 _‘Hand in hand we enter the big hall. Through my whit veil I can see that all eyes are on us. My heart is pounding wildly and my hands are so sweaty. My knees are trembling, and I carry this feeling of happiness in me that can’t be put into words. It is overwhelming._  
  
_The people around us start clapping as we reach the middle of the hall. Then she releases my hand, steps in front of me and lifts my veil. She is about to kiss me, when suddenly she is pulled back. Who is this? Why are they doing this? I can’t recognize the person, because suddenly everything is dark._  
  
_“Regina? Regina!”_  
  
_I start to flail wildly, trying to scream but no sound escapes my mouth. It is as if someone is holding me back. My legs begin to move, and I run. I run against the endless darkness. I run, I scream, for minutes, for hours; before I ultimately fall into a deep hole.’_  
  
“Regina!”  
  
Emma jerked awake. Gasping heavily she sat up, putting her hands on her throat to calm her breathing. Her heart was pounding so hard as if she had run a marathon. The nightmare … once again it haunted her. The blonde turned on her night light and got up. Her shirt was soaked and stuck to her body. She changed her shirt and opened her window, breathing in the fresh air.  
  
She shuddered. This was the fourth time this week that she had the same dream. As much as she didn’t want to admit it – the dream drove her mad. There was this weird feeling in her that she couldn’t shake off, and a question that kept spinning around in her head; what did that dream mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As always; I would love some reviews! Tell me what you think :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter - just a short message from me to you.

I’ve noticed that some of you may have lost interest in the story, because it is pretty dark. I should have mentioned that I am a new writer and English is a third language for me. I don’t do that much fluff, I prefer drama and angst, I like it dark and twisted, I’m that kind of writer and I’m not sorry for that.  
I am sorry, however, if you got the feeling that this is a CS story, because, hell no, it is a SQ story, and you’ll see it, if you choose to stay along for the ride. It will get worse before it gets better, but it will be so worth it, because SwanQueen is ENDGAME! No matter what will happen in the story, just have it in your mind that our ladies will have a happily ever after.  
With my story I want to show everyone that True Love is worth fighting for, no matter what one has to endure to reach their ultimate goal and no matter how much time passes. True Love will win – always. So please, leave Reviews so I can know your wishes and hopes, and give the story a chance!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All mistakes are mine, please try and ignore them. Or even better, PM me if you find some! :) Enjoy!

Several weeks had passed. The things between the two of them couldn't be better. They met often, though secretly, but neither complained. So far, Ruby and Graham were the only ones who knew about their relationship. They were having the time of their life, for the very first time, both girls felt completely at ease and happy. With every passing minute they spend together, their feelings grew and grew.

In her free time Regina worked on controlling her magic – the reason she came to Storybrooke in the first place. Rocinante kept her company. A good and exhausted ride through the forest made her less angry, when she had problems with her magic, which suddenly felt like a curse. Since she knew that Emma hated it, she wanted to get rid of it. Too bad that it wasn't that easy.

The blonde's nightmares had subsided with time – Thank God! She lived for the moments with Regina. When she was with her, she could forget everything else, it was like a safe haven for her. At home, however, it got only worse. There was always an uncomfortable tension in the air, Robert seemed to be constantly angry. Her mother put it on the upcoming wedding of Neal and Tamara, which Emma questioned.

* * *

 

Friday night, in mid-August, there were some fun time waiting for them. Neal's bachelor party – well, kind of. Tamara and he decided to just have a small, private celebration with friends. In The Rabbit Hole – the freaking Rabbit Hole! And Emma as well as Ruby and Lily were allowed to be there, even though they still were underage. Graham knew the owner and promised him to keep an eye on them.

Regina would be there, too, and Emma couldn't wait to see her. The blonde put on her best dress – a sleeveless red one, which ended mid-thigh and clung to her body in all the right ways. She had curled her hair and applied a little make-up. A short black blazer and black heels completed the outfit.

Two hours later Emma sipped on her third – alcohol free – drink. So far the party was a great success, everyone was having a good time. The only thing that bothered the blonde was Lily, who stared at Regina all the damn time. Maybe it was just a figment of her imagination. At least she hoped so.

When she glanced at Ruby, however, her suspicions were confirmed. As her brunette friend sipped on a drink, her narrowed eyes were directed toward Lily, who was eagerly talking to Regina.

"So, Rubes. Are you having fun?" Emma tapped her friends shoulder.

Ruby jumped, whirled her head around and looked at Emma, confused.

"I … huh? Yes, yes, it's great," she replied.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah … sure, of course. Everything is great, Em." She tipped the content of her glass down so quickly, she chocked on it. Emma lightly tapped her on the back, frowned and looked at her questioningly.

"Well, no. Nothing's okay!" Ruby suddenly blurted out. "What kind of shit is Lily doing? She practically throws herself all over Regina. Since when she's gay? Or bisexual or whatever. I mean, I'm almost freaking out, how in God's name can you watch this?"

"I'd like to scratch her eyes out," Emma hissed.

Ruby stared at her in a mixture of horror and amusement.

"Yeah, I'm serious. I know that in a way it's my fault, because she doesn't know about Regina and me, and to be honest I don't know if I even want to tell her, but … Well, she better keep her hands off of my woman."

"Your woman, huh?" Ruby grinned at her.

Emma blushed, biting on her straw, as she looked over to Regina. The brunette was wearing a black leather skirt – a FREAKING LEATHER SKIRT – that literally screamed; sex! And a beige silk V-neck blouse with an evil cleavage. Emma wanted to bury her face between it. Her core clenched at the thought of it and she blushed even more. They hadn't take their relationship to the next step yet, but hell; Emma was so ready.

"Why, yes," she muttered, "definitely MY woman."

Just before midnight Emma finally managed to sneak out of The Rabbit Hole and wait for Regina. She had a hard time avoiding the brunette, when all she wanted was kissing those red lips. Emma walked a few yards down the street, she didn't want to meet Regina directly in front of the Bar.

On the other side of the road, a few guys ran by. They howled and whistled, but Emma ignored them. Suddenly, one of them crossed the street and came straight towards her. For a moment, panic spread across her body, which instantly turned to anger as Killian was standing in front of her.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Emma muttered in disbelief.  
"Let's call it fate, luv," he grinned broadly.  
"Fate my ass," she snapped. "Give me a break!"  
"Your word choice doesn't fit to a lady like you."  
"You don't even know me. How would you know if I am a lady?"  
"Because I know. You're my lady," he grinned, amused.

Dear, God! She really wasn't in the mood.

"In your dreams," Emma scoffed.  
"Some dreams come true."

Annoyed, Emma rolled her eyes as Killian's friend's called for him.

"See you, luv," he winked.  
"Hopefully never again," Emma gave back.

Grinning, he blew the blonde a kiss then went back to his friends. Once again the idiot had managed to screw up her already bad mood.

Emma waited ten more minutes in vain for Regina to join her, before she went back inside. The blonde was merely seconds away from freaking out, when she saw Lily still talking to Regina. They stood a little apart from the others, who were still sitting at the table. Lily's hand was on the brunette's arm as she leaned in, whispering something in Regina's ear, who smiled amused. She was having fun. 'Great,' Emma thought with gritting teeth. 'Just great.'

When their eyes met, Regina smiled and waved her over. Enraged, Emma turned around and went to the others. It didn't took long for Regina to join them. As she spoke to Emma, the blonde ignored her, sipping on her drink, while she tried to calm her raging heart.

"Is something wrong?" Regina asked.

That she even had to ask! Emma snorted and wordlessly turned away from Regina, but the brunette reached for her elbow and stopped her.

"Let go off me!" Emma hissed quietly. "Someone could see us!"

Regina did as she was told, furrowing her brows in hurt and confusing. "Let's get some fresh air," she suggested.

"No, thanks. I already got some, like ten minutes ago. But I'm sure Lily would love to join you."

"Lily?" Regina asked, confused. "She just went home."

"Oh, I'm very sorry. No more company for tonight?" Emma shot her a mock sad look and a fake smile.

"Are you kidding me?" Regina snapped, looking furious. "What the hell is wrong with you? I'm already fucked up and now you're bitching around?"

"Yes, well, you should go find Lily. I'm sure she won't bitching around!" Emma spat back, rather loudly.

Luckily, the others weren't paying attention and didn't hear her. Totally pissed, the blonde stood up and went outside, Regina following her right on her heels.

"What do you want, Regina? Leave me alone!" the blonde demanded, as they reached a bench in the back of the Bar. Then, suddenly, laughter filled the air. Startled, Emma whirled around. Regina was laughing. From the top of her lungs! The blonde had expected everything, just not that.

"What the hell? What's so funny?" Emma cried out, furiously.

"You're jealous," Regina chuckled, as if a switch had turned and she finally figured it out.

Emma averted her gaze. Regina had hit the nail on the head. Whether Emma wanted to admit it or not. She heard the brunette approaching, then Regina grabbed her face and kissed her.

Stunned, Emma froze for just a second before she returned the kiss, which quickly became heated when Regina opened her mouth to savor her lover. They moaned in unison, as tongues danced sensually together, their hands roaming all over each other's bodies.

"Regina!" Emma gasped, as the brunette's mouth assaulted her throat. "If someone … sees … us ... oh god … besides … I'm still … fuck … angry."

"You're not angry, dear," Regina husked, as she grazed her teeth and tongue over the blonde's collarbone, "You're jealous, and damn … you're so hot, when you get jealous."

A groan of pleasure escaped the blonde's throat, and Regina could feel her core tingling from arousal. She clenched her legs together and carefully pulled away from Emma. They were both breathless and all flushed. As they looked gazed, Regina took Emma's hand, clasping their fingers together, and brushed a strand of hair from her face, when the blonde suddenly trembled all over.

"Are you cold?" she asked softly. Wordlessly, Emma shook her head. "But you're trembling," Regina stated and then simply took the blonde into her arms.

Emma buried her face in Regina's neck, inhaling her unique scent, a mix of apples and flowers, and something that was purely Regina.

"Emma … look at me," the brunette whispered eventually. Emma raised her head, looking straight into dark chocolate eyes, which shone with so much affection, the blonde's heart was bursting with joy.

"I … I'm sorry, Regina," the blonde apologized, "I just … I really freaked out, when I saw you with Lily. I mean, the way she looked at you and touched you … she … she clearly was flirting. She's very skilled in those things, you know? You're 23, Regina, you have … experience, and you had partners before. I … I am 18 for God's sake, I can't even have a drink, without breaking the law."

The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, and took a deep, shaky breath. "Sometimes a just can't shake of the feeling that I'm doing everything wrong, and that scares me because I don't want to lose you …" she trailed off, lowered her gaze and bit her lip. How could she make it clear that she wanted Regina in every way possible, without drowning in embarrassment and sounding like a child? Her inexperience made her feel so insecure, she hated it!

"Emma …" Regina whispered. She grabbed the blonde's chin and dropped a feather light kiss on her forehead. Emma was all flustered, but she never found her more beautiful than at that very moment. The brunette ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. "I love you."

Emma gasped, "You do?"

The brunette couldn't help but smile in affection, tilting her head, she nodded. "I do." She then cupped Emma's cheek, stroking lightly. "Lily is … I just can't find a suitable word that describes her. Anyway, she's into a stepbrother of mine and –"

"Stop," Emma cut her off, "You have a stepbrother? Why don't I know that?"

"Actually, I've two, and you don't know about them, because they're both fools and I don't see the point wasting our precious time by talking about them. They're really not worth it. Anyway, Lily was gushing over him. I didn't want to be rude, after all, she's one of your closest friends. I was just trying to get along with her, to be polite. All I did was listen and assure her that I would put in a good word for her."

That was so Lily! Always chasing boys. Well, as long as stays away from her Regina, she didn't mind. Shaking her head, she smiled.

"That's the way she is," Emma started. "She thinks she'll find the right one, if she only searches hard enough. Her methods though … many don't approve. But she's my friend, and true friends don't judge. True friends are supposed to accept one the way they are, with all their flaws and all their quirks."

Regina studied her for a long time, then she smiled widely. Emma raised her eyebrow questioningly, whereupon the brunette just shrugged.

"Oh, come on now," the blonde pouted, "why are you smiling like that?"

"It's just … well, you. Sometimes I think you have no idea what a good person you are. You are so unique, Emma, so pure. I'm a lucky woman."

Regina captured the blonde's lips, before she even had the time to process the compliment. "I love you, Emma," Regina whispered, as she kissed her way down the blonde's jaw, finding her neck. "I love you and I want you so, so much, don't you ever think I would choose someone else over you, just because you're inexperienced."

Emma's hands found their way under Regina's blouse, fingertips brushing over soft, tanned skin.

"You'll gather your experience, Em … ma … oh god," Regina moaned and shuddered, as the blonde suddenly palmed her breast, squeezing ever so gently, as if she was afraid she'd hurt her.

"Regina?" Emma searched for the deep, beautiful chocolate orbs, holding onto them. "I love you, too." 

The brunette smiled widely. She looked so happy and so relieved at the same time, that Emma finally found the courage to say, what she really felt. "I love you, Regina. And I want you. All of you. I'm ready."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sooooooo, their first time. I'm very hesitant, because I never, like NEVER wrote a lesbian intimate scene before. More so, it would be Emma's very first time, and I'm really freaking out right know. So guys, what do you think? Should I just go for it and write, or should I skip that part? I'd love to know what you think <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, it's done. My first lady loving intimate scene, ever! ENJOY! And please let me know what you think :)

Chapter 11

 

 

Regina’s eyes widened in surprise. Emma trusted her – fully. She knew the blonde was a virgin, and she always wanted to make sure not to rush anything, but Emma said it herself; she was ready, she wanted her.  And who was Regina do deny that request? She couldn’t help but smile as she looked into Emma’s eyes, who pulled her hand back from under the brunette’s blouse, and blushed. _Adorable!_

“How about you come by later?” Regina suggested, kissing Emma lightly on her cheek.

“I’ll have Ruby cover me,” the blonde blurted out.

Regina wrapped one hand around Emma’s waist, pulling her closer, as she ran a fingertip beneath the neckline of the blonde’s dress, brushing lightly at the very top of Emma’s breast. “I can’t wait to touch you … to really touch you,” she whispered in a husky voice, which made Emma bit her lip, and tremble in anticipation.

They broke apart, when they heard someone approaching. Just seconds later Ruby was standing in front of them, smiling that bright and smug smile of hers, as if she knew all their secrets. Which – to be honest – she did. Emma cleared her throat, and threw her friend a warning look, which she totally ignored.

“Hello there, girls. I didn’t interrupt anything, now, did I?” Ruby asked, cheekily.

Emma groaned in frustration, but Regina chuckled amused. “Nothing that we can’t resume later, dear.” Now it was Ruby’s turn to blush beet red as Regina once more took hold of Emma’s waist, kissing her so deeply the blonde felt lightheaded when the kiss ended.

“I’m going to head home now,” Regina said then, running her thumb over Emma’s lower lip, “See you later?”

All the blonde could do, was nod. Regina winked at Ruby, who blushed even more and then went off. The friends stood there a while, totally dumbfounded and stunned. Ruby was the first to break the silence. “Uh, I … well, that was … uh, wow?”  

“Yeah, I know,” Emma whispered barely audible, and shook her head, as if she could hardly believe her luck. She couldn’t believe it herself, that SHE, Emma FREAKING Swan, got a woman like Regina. As realization hit, she grinned widely, clapping her hands once. “Rubes, you’re gonna cover for me, because, I, me, Emma Swan is going to have Sex tonight.”

“Dude, really?” Ruby grimaced. “I’ll never get rid of those images in my head now … GROSS!” 

“Oh, shut it,” Emma laughed happily.

Ruby joined in as she hung to her friends arm, dragging her along.

 

* * *

 

 

It was past 1 am, when Emma finally reached Regina’s cabin in the woods. She’d been here a couple of times, making out in the living room and in the kitchen, but she was about to step into Regina’s bedroom, and that made her so incredible nervous, she cursed silently. As she was standing in front of the door, she lowered her already raised hand, and tried to regain her control.  

“Come on, now. You can do this,” she muttered. The blonde had freshen up at Ruby’s, where to two of them worked through their cover up plan – Ruby’s would call the others and tell them, that Emma wasn’t feeling well and she would spend the night at Ruby’s – and then she went straight to Regina’s. Before she could knock, the front door suddenly sprung open. Startled the blonde took a step back. “I knew I heard someone,” Regina said, smiling. “Cold feet?” she continued as she saw Emma’s expression.

“What? No, God no. I’m just …”

“Nervous? Excited? Afraid?”

“I guess a little bit of everything,” Emma sighed, as she took Regina’s offered hand, following her into the cabin. With a hammering heart, she watched Regina’s hips sway. She wanted to touch that waist, she wanted to grab it, to wrap her arms around it.

The blonde felt warm all over, and she couldn’t help but stare at the way Regina’s blouse clung to her delicate back – she hadn’t changed her clothes. Emma licked her lips, arousal and nervousness mixing together. Her love was so beautiful, so experienced, and Emma didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how their first time was going to work.

“There’s no need,” the brunette assured her, as they took a seat on the couch. “I’ll take care of you. We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.” Brushing a strand of Emma’s hair out of her face, she leaned in, and kissed her, gentle, while she caressed her cheek. “I promise, I’ll take care of you.”

“I know,” Emma whispered, “I trust you.”

“How about a glass of wine? Perhaps it will ease your nervousness?” Regina suggested, standing up, but Emma grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, so that she fell right onto the blonde’s lap. 

“I don’t need wine. I need you, Regina.”

Emma captured her lips once more. Nipping. Sliding. Pressing. The brunette opened her mouth slowly, deepened the kiss, and Emma’s tongue slide in a desperate hurry against Regina’s. Hot, heavy breaths filled the air. As Regina straddled the blonde, her skirt rid up, revealing toned thighs. Immediately Emma began to slide her hands up her legs before slipping them under the skirt, grabbing two handfuls of Regina’s behind, and digging her fingernails into the delicious flesh.

Regina groaned into her mouth, pulling the blonde even closer, pressing their bodies together as their tongues danced. But it wasn’t enough, she wanted more, both of them wanted more. “Bedroom, now,” Regina moaned, as she pulled back. Emma just nodded, and followed her with shaky legs.

The brunette turned off the living room light, and suddenly the small hallway seemed so much darker. The bedroom light was on, guiding them. When they reached their destination, Regina propped the door fully open with the tilt of her hip. Then she turned to Emma, who was smiling at her, that loving, adoring smile that said ‘ _I trust you’._

It wasn’t that fancy big room, Emma have imagined. But as soon as she entered it, she felt … at home. She felt safe here. The unmistakable scent of her lover lingered in the air and the king size bed that nearly filled the whole room, felt welcoming.

“Turn around,” Regina whispered, when they were standing in the middle of the bedroom.

Emma obeyed without hesitation. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel the brunette standing directly behind her, then she felt fingers slowly running along her bar arms. Goosebumps erupted. When Regina pushed blonde hair to the side, kissing her shoulder and neck, Emma’s heart stopped for a second. Her whole body started shaking.

“I won’t hurt you,” Regina whispered.

“I know.”

“If you don’t want that, you just have to tell –“

“Shh,” Emma interrupted her, turning around she put a finger to the brunette mouth to silence her. “I’m ready, Regina. For you. For me. For us,” she said. Their lips found each other again, kissing with such passion, clearing every single doubt they could possible feel.

Emma didn’t know how long exactly they were standing that way, she had lost any sense of time. At some point, however, the blonde felt Regina’s fingers toying with the zipper of her dress. Slowly she pulled it down, not once breaking the kiss. Only when the dress slipped down Emma’s body, Regina took a step back to savor the sight.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmured as she gazed at the pale body in front of her.

Emma blushed. Silently she cheered, and was so glad that she kept up her jogging and workouts, because the way Regina let her eyes wander up and down her body was so worth it. Without thinking twice, the blonde reached behind her back, and unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Regina said again. 

As she admired her body, Emma’s nipples hardened against the cool air and the intense stare. She inhaled sharply when Regina reached out, running her hands over her breasts, cupping them, squeezing them lightly. Then she lowered her head and sucked one taut peak into her mouth. “Oh fuck me!” Emma cried out, arching her body into the touch.

“I intend to,” Regina husked, grazing her teeth one more time over the sensitive nipple. “My turn, I guess,” she then whispered into the shell of her lover’s ear and stepped back again. With one swift move the brunette’s blouse was gone, but before she could reach the zipper of her skirt, Emma grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“I … I want to do that,” she said quietly.

“All yours, dear,” Regina smiled, and dropped her arms to her side.

Emma pressed her lips together as she took hold of the brunette’s waist, running her hands up and down her bar back, enjoying the feel of soft skin. Her hands trailed south, searching and finding the zipper, and slowly, painfully slowly pulling it down. When it fell to the floor, Regina gracefully stepped out of the cloth. She met Emma’s gaze and nodded, giving her permission to go further. The blonde hesitated for just a second, before her hands were back on her lover’s behind. Breathing hard she hooked her fingers under the edge of the silk panties and slid them ever so slowly down. Her hands were trembling. She knew that Regina could feel it, but that didn’t stop her from reaching up again, unclasping the brunette’s matching bra. And then, there she stood; completely naked. 

_GODDESS._

That was the first word that came to Emma’s mind. Actually, she didn’t thought that there was a word that would do justice to her. Goddess came closest to it, though. HER Goddess. She was gorgeous. Breathtaking. Stunning. She continued to admire and stare, until Regina quietly cleared her throat.

“I … I’m sorry,” Emma stammered, snapping her eyes back to her lover’s face. “You’re just … stunning.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, “So are you.” She placed her hands gently on the blonde’s hips, her fingers covering the sides of her black panties. Carefully she guided the younger women backwards until her legs hit the bed and she sat down.

Suddenly Emma felt nervous again. She leaned back on the bed, her palms spread out to hold herself up in an attempt to appear more relaxed. Like she wasn’t nervous at all, like she could do this easily. Confidence was sexy, right? _I’m freaking out._

“Emma,” Regina’s voice interrupted her inner monologue.

The words spilled from her lips before she could stop them, “I just … I’m nervous, I can’t help it. And I know you can see that, but I really don’t want to mess this up. What if things get totally awkward? What if we get all naked and vulnerable and it’s bad, really bad? What if I’m not a good enough lover for you, what if I can’t fulfil your needs, what if I’m just –“

“Stop,” Regina firmly cut her of once more, “You’re thinking too much. Just try and relax. Lay down.” When the younger woman did as she was told, Regina straddled her, holding back a moan as her bar sex made contact with her lover’s stomach. She was dripping wet, and she knew that Emma could see it, feel it, and smell it. Regina grabbed her face, kissing her softly, tracing her tongue over her lower lip. “First of all,” she whispered, “we’re already naked, dear.”

Emma’s chuckle turned into a moan as the brunette trailed open mouthed kisses all over her throat. Her back arched slightly and a cry escaped her lips, when Regina’s hot mouth enveloped her nipple and pinched the other at the same time. “Oh dear God,” she groaned, closing her eyes. She concentrated on how the brunette felt, fisting her hands in her short, soft hair.

“Is it bad so far?” Regina breathed out, sliding down as she kissed every inch of the blonde’s chest and stomach, letting her tongue taste her lover.

“No,” Emma moaned.

“Is it awkward so far?”

A pulse of heat shot straight to her core, when Regina’s mouth reached her navel, grabbing her panties and pulling them down in one smooth swift. “Yes!” she growled in pleasure, “I mean, no! Not at all. Please, Regina, please.”

“Please what?” the brunette asked, shifting so she sat between Emma’s legs.  

“Please touch me, please. I need you!”

Regina didn’t need to be told twice. She dipped her head and ran the flat of her tongue across the blonde’s wet folds, from bottom to top, ending the stroke with a flick over the throbbing clit.

“Jesus!” Emma cried out as she clung to the bed sheets. She was completely overwhelmed by the intensity of this touch, she felt as if she had no ground under her feet, as if she were hovering. Every fiber in her vibrated and wanted more. The older woman gently spread her legs wider apart, ran her tongue two more times through her slit, and then dipped the tip just inside her opening. Emma screamed. She fucking screamed as pleasure whipped through her body. She shivered with anticipation as Regina pulled back, and the cool air brushed against her pussy.

The brunette licked her lips, relishing the taste of Emma as she let her eyes wander over her body. Her back was slightly arched, her eyes closed, her head thrown back, the blonde hair spread all over her pillow, and she was gripping the bed sheets with both hands. Then there were her rosy cheeks, and her mouth, just barely open, but she had heard the noises of sheer pleasure that had just escaped her throat. Regina never felt more turned on, like in that very moment. Her own pussy was throbbing, and desperately wanted to be touched, but first she would take care of her love.

“Please,” Emma breathed out, without opening her eyes. “More, please.”

Regina smiled to herself, brushing her hands up along the blonde’s inner thighs. “I’ll make you feel so good,” she promised. She lowered herself once more, sticking her warm tongue out, and traced circles around the hard clit. Emma moaned loudly, and Regina joined in as the younger woman suddenly took hold of her head, and raised her hips to meet her tongue. She was close, the brunette could feel it. But she didn’t wanted it to end just yet.

Regina pulled back once more, cradling back above her lover while she straddled one of her thighs. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she let out a low growl when her wet center slid against the smooth skin of Emma’s thigh.

“You’re so wet,” the blonde whispered in awe, “I didn’t even touch you yet.”

“Oh dear, I’m dripping,” she moaned as she rocked her hips slightly, “for you. You’re doing this to me.” The older woman leaned down, capturing the blonde’s lips in a heated kiss. Tongues danced as she hold herself up with one hand while the other reached down to resume the work her tongue had left unfinished.

Emma braced herself as pleasure crashed through her body once again. The taste of herself and her lover’s long fingers between her legs had nearly come her undone. The brunette traced her entrance with a finger, teasing her. She tensed a little, and Regina immediately stopped her ministrations. Breaking the kiss, she pulled back slightly, searching for the blonde’s eyes.

“You’re alright?”

Emma could hear the concern in her voice. Taking a deep breath, she smiled and nodded reassuringly.

“Yes. Go ahead. Just … just slowly, okay?”

Regina kissed her girlfriend again, moving her fingers lightly through her folds, taking lazy circles with her thumb over her clit. “Relax, dear. And keep your eyes open for me, okay?” she said barely audible. “I want to see you when I enter you. Can you do that?”

Emma nodded and let out a low moan when the brunette’s finger slid up and down her slippery wet slit, exploring her, preparing her. She groaned in frustration when her love pulled her hand back, but then she moaned when she saw how Regina sucked on her own finger.

“You’re delicious,” the older woman husked, tracing the cleft of Emma’s pussy once again with her finger and this time offering it to her. “Don’t you think?”

She sucked the dripping finger into her mouth, loving the taste of herself and knowing that Regina was responsible for the wetness of which she was giving her a taste. Pulling her finger out of her mouth she captured her lips again, sucking and biting lightly on a plump lower lip. “Fuck,” Emma groaned.

“As you wish.”

Emma had a hard time keeping her eyes open, as Regina gentle stroked her clit. Finally a single finger trailed down, parting her lips and pressing lightly against her entrance. She held her breath, and locked gaze with the woman above her. Her eyes shone with so much love and affection.

“You’re so ready for me,” the brunette stated, drawing small circles around the rim of her entrance, gathering the wetness that was pooling there. And then it happened. The tip of her finger slid into the channel. Emma’s lips parted in a gasp, making Regina dizzy. Carefully the finger went deeper. The blonde felt a slight burn as her hymen ripped and a low “ _Ohhhh_ ,” escaped both women’s throats.

The brunette stopped. “You okay?”

The younger woman gulped, but nodded. “Just give me a second,” she said with a hoarse voice.

Their lips found each other again in a needy kiss. Emma’s tongue instantly pushed its way in to play with Regina’s, who joined in readily. One of the blonde’s hands made his way to her lover’s ass, gripping and kneading the flesh. “You can move now,” she whispered, bucking her hips slightly.

And she did just that. Slowly, she pulled her finger in and out her, enjoying the feel of the heat and how her walls clenched around her finger. “You’re so tight,” she breathed, kissing the woman beneath her, sucking on her pulse point, making her moan. Oh, how she loved the sounds she was making.

“More, please. Please,” Emma begged, thrusting her hips forward to meet Regina’s touch. The older woman pulled back, their gazes locked again. Then, carefully, she pressed another finger into her and curled them up into the blonde. “OH SWEET JESUS!” she cried out, her fingernails digging into Regina’s back.

The brunette groaned, her forehead falling to Emma’s shoulder. So tight, so hot, so wet. Her own wetness was spread all over the younger woman’s thigh, as she rocked her hips in desperate need for release. But first, she had to focus. “Does it feel okay?” she asked, pumping her fingers faster. She could feel the layer of sweat on her body.

“Yes. Oh God, yes,” Emma managed as she opened her eyes, watching the older woman’s face redden. “It feels so good. You feel so good. Please, Regina. Please, I want to come. Make me come, please.”

The older woman swallowed hard, watching how Emma laid there with half closed lids and red cheeks. All vulnerable and sexy at the same time. She was so freaking aroused, she could barely handle it. Her thumb found the blonde’s clit, rubbing hard, never losing the rhythm of her thrusts. It didn’t take long until she could feel her tighten around her fingers.

“Regina!” she cried out. Her back arched, her toes curled as the orgasm hit her full force, waves of pleasure exploding through her body, causing her to see stars. Her body was bathing in ecstasy.

Regina watched in pure awe, her heart pounding in her chest as she witnessed the way Emma road out her orgasm. She had never seen something more beautiful. She smiled softly as her love slumped back onto the bed, eyes closed and panting hard. She leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, causing the blonde to open her eyes.

“Hi,” Regina smiled, caressing her cheek.

Emma threw her arms around her waist, pulling her down onto her body.

“I love you,” she said, a lazy smile on her lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: I need REVIEWS!
> 
> Question: Should I extend their lovemaking in the next chapter, or should I stop here? Let me know what you guys want! :)


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so so so so much for all the reviews! I was overwhelmed, and I loved every single one! I decided to extend their love making, but at the same time a tried to make it realistic, more relatable, because I often find sex scene's on ff way too ... I don't know really. Too perfect, I guess. Anyway, I hope you'll like it!

Chapter 12

"I love you, too," Regina replied and buried her head in the blonde's neck.

Emma loved the way the older woman's naked body was pressed against hers. She could feel her pounding heartbeat, and her breath tickled against her pulse point. As Regina's tongue started playing with her skin, biting lightly on her earlobe, she shuddered.

"You okay?" the dark haired woman asked, trailing kisses along her jaw.

"Very," she hummed, capturing Regina's lips. "That was amazing," she moaned.

"Oh, dear," she chuckled, "I'll show you how amazing it will get with time."

"Once I get some practice, you mean?"

"Ye – AH!" she squealed. Emma's hands had wandered down, squeezing her ass, hard. "You're a kinda ass girl, aren't you, dear?" The blonde just shrugged, grinning brightly. She indeed had a thing for Regina's behind. She didn't seem to get enough from it, and she couldn't wait to explore the rest of her lover's body. Digging her fingernails into the skin, she rocked the brunette hips forward. "Oh fuck me, that's – OH!" Regina moaned, as her very wet and very throbbing center rubbed against her thigh.

"May I?" she asked.

"I … what?" Regina replied, confused.

"Fuck you."

Groaning, her eyes rolled back in her head as Emma moved her leg – on purpose or not – thrusting her thigh into her core and hitting just the right spot. They had no idea who exactly initiated it, but in a blink of an eye, their roles had swapped, Regina laying on her back, Emma hovering above her. They kissed some more, as their hands intertwined on the bed. Their tongues invaded each other's mouth and they went into the most sensuous French kiss they've ever shared. Suddenly, the blonde pulled back, settling on Regina's thighs. She was panting hard and fast, her chest moving up and down with every breath. Emma could hear her heart pounding in her ears. It had been here, Goddamn it! Her confidence. The stupid, stupid confidence that she felt just seconds ago. And now it was gone – abruptly.

Regina stayed silent, her hands flat on the bed, as she observed the younger woman with slight concern. She wanted nothing more than Emma's touch. Her hands, her fingers, her lips, mouth and tongue on her body. On her breasts, around her nipples, against her core. She wanted it, she wanted it so badly, but it had to happen on the blonde's pace.

"Emma," she whispered eventually, "It's alright. It's okay, dear."

The blonde avoided eye contact, instead she didn't take of her eyes from the woman's body.

"It's okay, Emma," she repeated, "I promise."

"You don't get it," she whispered barely audible.

"I do, I promise. You don't have to do anything, if you don't want to."

Finally the blonde seemed to snap out of whatever kind of trance she was, meeting Regina's eyes.

"What?" she asked confused, "What are you talking about?"

Frowning, Regina replied, "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"You thought I … "Emma shook her head in disbelief. Chuckling nervously, she rubbed her face with her hands and sighed. "I do WANT to touch you. I just …" Embarrassed she averted her gaze once more, while Regina held her breath. "I just don't know how."

Relieve flooded through the older woman's body, and she had a very hard time to not burst into laughter. For a moment her mind had gone crazy, the maddest scenarios of rejection filling her head. But this beautiful, marvelous, innocent (well, not so innocent anymore), silly girl just needed some guidance and a little push.

"Did you ever thought of me, while you touched yourself?" Regina asked.

Emma flushed with embarrassment, hiding her face in her hands and groaning softly. The brunette bit her lip and held back a smile, taking Emma's reaction as a YES, even though she didn't voice it. She decided to take another route, not wanting to make the blonde uncomfortable.

"I did. More than once," the short haired woman admitted.

Finally Emma took her hands from her face, studying the woman beneath her, warily. "You did?"

She nodded, as a smile crept onto her face. "A few days ago, after we talked for hours on the phone, I found myself really, really aroused. I had to take care of it, otherwise I would've exploded," Regina started, taking her lover's hands and intertwining them once again with hers. "I undressed myself completely, before I laid down on my bed, just like now. My eyes fluttered close, when my hands began to roam my body, imagining it were you, sitting on my thighs and touching me."

The brunette let go of Emma's hands, grabbing her wrists lightly and placing them on her stomach.

"I imagined how your hands would feel around my breasts, as I cupped and squeezed them. I started playing with my nipples, pinching them and moaning your name."

Emma found herself completely captivated. Her hands started moving on their own accord, cupping Regina's breasts, squeezing them. Her heartbeat quickened, and she could feel herself becoming wet again. She leaned down a little, loving the way the firm breasts fitted perfectly into her palms, and finally grazing her thumb over the already hard nipples, and pinching them lightly.

"Emma," she gasped.

"Tell me more, please," the blonde whispered in a husky tone.

Regina smiled proudly. The little game worked, and she was so happy that Emma seemed to enjoy it, too. "You would kiss my neck while playing with my breasts, grazing your teeth's over my throat, licking my sensitive skin, and – ah," a soft moan escaped her throat as Emma followed her every word. "Emma, I need – oh God!"

"What do you need? Tell me."

"Your mouth on my breasts, around my nipples."

The blonde complied without hesitation. She dropped her head, her mouth open as she latched onto her right breast, flicking her tongue over the erect nipple.

"Ah, yes! Just like that … suck it," Regina whispered as she held the younger woman's head close to her chest. "You're doing so well, love. I'm so wet … I need your fingers on me … oh fuck, yes!"

"OH LORD!" Emma growled as her fingers made contact with Regina's center for the very first time, easily slipping through her folds. She was soaked! For Emma! Emma did this to her! She searched for her lover's eyes, but her head was thrown back as soft AH's and OH's left those delicious plump lips, while her fingers worked between her legs. She did this, she caused the wetness and she caused those moans. Never had she felt more powerful like in that moment, and she loved every single second!

"Inside, please," Regina begged.

And really, there was no need for more instructions, as Emma determined plunged two fingers inside her lover's heat. The brunette cried out, fisting a hand into the bed sheets and the other through blonde hair. Emma stopped, her eyes grew wide when their gazes met.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked, worried.

Regina smiled, and shook her head, no. She hadn't hurt her, she was simply surprised by the sudden boldness of the blonde. Slowly, Emma resumed her work, sucking on a nipple, moving her fingers in and out of her lover's pussy.

"Faster," Regina demanded. "And harder. You're doing so, so well …"

Emma smiled, then kissed her deeply. "You feel so good." She kissed her way down her jaw, nipping at her pulse point. She bit down sharply, before licking over the bite, easing the sudden pain she'd caused.

"Oh, God!" the woman beneath her breathed out. "Ahhh …"

"You make the most delicious sounds, do you know that?" the blonde whispered against her neck, speeding up her thrusts, curling her fingers and pressing her palm against a throbbing, swollen clit. She gasped, as suddenly Regina penetrated her with a finger, holding her in place with her other hand on her lower back. A shiver went down her spine, she could feel her next orgasm bubbling just around the surface. She almost couldn't handle it, and nearly lost her rhythm.

"Regina …"

"Make me come, love. Make me come, and come with me."

Except for the whispers of their names, no more words were needed. Their bodies melted together, as if they were made for each other, as if they were one. Regina arched her back and came with a silent cry, digging her fingernails into Emma's back. The volcano in the blonde erupted shortly afterwards. Her breath hitched, as her stomach coiled tight. She bit her lower lip, hard, her whole body shook and she had the feeling she would break. She kind of did. In fact, she cried out and collapsed over Regina. Trembling violently, wave after wave of sweet desolation tore through every fiber of her being. Her lover's finger still was inside her, her thumb stroking slow and soft over her throbbing clit, before she couldn't handle anymore. Her body relaxed, going limp.

Several minutes passed, before she found the strength to shift of Regina and settle next to her. They were laying face to face looking at each other wordlessly. The pale moonlight shone through the window and fell directly on Regina's face and sweat-covered body. It was perfect, simply like that. There was no other word to describe that night. Emma was overwhelmed. The intensity of her feelings were barely bearable, and she could feel a tear running down her temple.

"Regina, I –"

"Shh," she cut her off, "I know," she whispered, "I know."

And she did. Because she felt the exact same way. She pulled the younger woman closer to her, their legs intertwined, and their faces so close, it felt like they were breathing the same air. Regina hugged her tightly, and then pressed a long kiss on the blonde's forehead, until exhausting took over them and they finally fell asleep.

Regina woke up first, as soon as the first rays of sunshine shone through the window, tickling her naked body. She smiled softly as she saw Emma practically laying on top of her. Her head on her bare chest, her ear right above her heart. The older woman couldn't remember the last time she felt so content and happy, and she closed her eyes again to focus on the feel of the other woman in her arms. Emma's thigh was thrown over her waist, one arm was wrapped loosely around her neck, and she could feel every single deep breath her lover took, on her bar skin. She shivered in delight.

The blonde started stirring after a while. A happy sigh escaped her, as she looked up meeting chocolate brown eyes, before she leaned in and dropped a chaste kiss on those plump lips.

"Hi."

"Good morning, beautiful girl," Regina replied sweetly.

Emma blushed at the new pet name, hiding her face in the brunette's neck. Regina grinned widely, squeezing her love tighter to her, and kissing her head. The blanket lay at their feet, pushed away throughout the warm summer night, and the older woman let her hands wander over Emma's bar back, stroking lightly, causing her to shiver.

"Are you cold?" she asked, but the blonde just shook her head, and started kissing her neck softly, circling her skin with her tongue. "Emma …" she breathed. "Don't start, what you can't finish."

"I wish I could," she admitted, but then leaned back and sighed deeply. "I should probably go. I'm pretty sure my mum will show up at Ruby's to pick me up."

"I know, dear."

"I wish I could stay all day long, just laying with you in bed."

"At one point we should probably shower. Preferably right now," Regina chuckled, kissing her love.

"Together?" Emma whispered against her lips, grazing her tongue over the small scar and sucking on it.

"You tease," the dark haired woman moaned, pulling away and standing up. "Rain check?"

"I'd love to." Emma's heart started to beat faster as she openly admired her lover's body, before she pulled a silk nightgown on. She sat up and gasped in shock as her eyes fell on the bed sheets – blood!

"What's wrong?" Regina whirled around.

"Oh my God, I ruined your sheets!" She jumped out of the bed and winced at the sudden movement. Regina was immediately beside her, concern written all over her face. "I'm fine, I'm fine, just a little sore, I guess," she assured her, "But Goddamn I ruined your bed sh –"

The brunette cut her off with a deep kiss. "There are just a few drops. It's just a sheet, Emma."

"I'm not a virgin anymore," she stated, astonished, as if she had just realized that.

"You're not," Regina confirmed. "Are you okay with that?"

Finally, she raised her head, a big smile on her face, and Regina's worries vanished in an instant. "I'm more than okay with that. I had my first time with the love of my life. I can't ask for more." The brunette's heart fluttered at those words, and she pulled Emma in her arms, hugging her tightly.

Regina send her into the shower, while she made coffee. She was tempted to just hop in with her, showing the blonde just how much she loved her, but she figured Emma wouldn't be 100% comfortable with that. Showering or bathing together was even more intimate than sex, she thought. The brunette had more than one partner in the past, but she never, not once, had showered with them. She smiled as she realized that with Emma, she would do it right away. Taking a sip of her coffee, she decided to add a hot and long shower on their next time.

"What's that smile about?" she heard her lover's voice, who was standing at the threshold. She had slipped into her yesterday's dress, blonde, blow-dry hair falling in waves over her shoulders. Her face was make-up free, her cheeks slightly flushed; she was so, so beautiful!

Regina handed her a coffee mug, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

A low moan escaped Emma's throat and her eyes fluttered shut, when she lifted the cup to her lips. "Oh my God, that is sooooo good!" she gushed. She took another long sip, enjoying the strong taste on her tongue. Regina was staring at her with wide eyes, and she cheered silently that she caused such a reaction by just drinking coffee. "And yes, I would," she kept on, smirking. "So, care to enlighten me?"

The older woman needed a second to regain her bearings, because she seriously considered to tear off that red dress, and take the blonde right on the kitchen table. She cleared her throat and leaned against the counter, reaching out a hand. When Emma took it, she pressed her against her body and kissed her long and deeply. Coffee flavor mixed with the unique taste of the younger woman.

"I just … I'm really, really happy. That's all," Regina said, nuzzling her noise against her lover's.

"No," Emma replied, "That's everything."

Unfortunately, there was no time for more kissing and cuddling. They couldn't even have breakfast together, because it was already 9 am, and Mary Margaret would surely be on her way to Ruby soon. Her brunette friend had even texted her twice in sheer panic.

When they reached to front door, both girls let out a sad sigh at the same time. They laughed and fell into each other's arms. "Thank you for the wonderful night, Regina. I loved every single second."

"It was beautiful. I love you. And I miss you already," she breathed in her own shampoo as she nuzzled her head into blonde hair, wrapping her arms around a slender waist. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over Regina, as if something bad would happen.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked, when she felt the older woman stiffen in her arms. She tried to pull back but the brunette held even tighter to her.

"It's nothing," she whispered into her ear. She tried to shake it off, pulling her love even tighter against her, but the feeling remained … and she didn't like it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: YAY! SOOOOOOO, their first time in their little bubble is over, it's time for real life now, don't you think? :)
> 
> Please, don't forget to let me know what you guys think!
> 
> PS: I guess, I have to warn you - some angst is coming our way. But stick around, you won't regret it, promise :)


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for sticking around, guys! I really appreciate it, and I will do everything to make sure you don't regret it.
> 
> I guess at this point a Trigger warning is in order; there will be a sexual assault scene by the end of the chapter.
> 
> All mistakes are mine, I'm sorry for them, and hope that everything is understandable.

Chapter 13

„Your mum will so figure out what you did last night."

Those were Ruby's first words as her friend finally showed up. Emma was lost in thoughts, humming to herself, while she rummaged through the fridge. She filled a glass of orange juice and leaned against the counter, happily daydreaming, until Ruby snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"What?"

"Girl, I'm talking to you," Ruby said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry, I was –"

"Lost in thoughts, yeah," the brunette finished her sentence. "I said your mother would figure out that you had sex last night, I'm just warning you."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because you look … different somehow. You're radiating, there's a sparkle in your eyes and I think you don't even realize it, but you're grinning like a fool since you stepped into my apartment. And you smell like sex."

Emma's jaw dropped in horror, but then she saw Ruby's shit eating grin, "I showered, you idiot." She took a seat on Ruby's couch, her friend followed her, making herself comfortable and looking at Emma with an eager expression on her face. "Oh, no. Just no."

"Emma, come on," Ruby whined.

"Yesterday you said it grosses you out to think about us, and now –"

"Now I changed my mind!" cut her off. "Talk!"

The blonde sighed, but then a big smile spread across her face, "It was … I know it sounds so mushy and clichéd even, but it was perfect. For me, it was perfect. Though I freaked out for a few seconds, Regina … she was so wonderful, so understanding. She sort of guided me a little … and then … Yeah, well … it was heavenly, and I am not a virgin anymore." Emma leaned back on the couch, and closed her eyes in pure contentment.

"Did you go down on her?" Ruby bluntly asked.

Green eyes snapped open, staring at her friend in disbelief. "That's … that's really private."

"You didn't."

"I –"

"It's okay, it was your first time."

"Ruby –"

"You will sooner or later. I love it when Graham does it."

"Ruby, that's just inappropriate, and I …"

"Did she go down on you? She did, didn't she?" her friend grinned knowingly.

"RUBY!" Emma cried out, blushing a deep red and averting her gaze. Ruby's throaty laugh filled the apartment, and just moments later the doorbell rang. Thank God, the blonde thought.

"Don't think you're off the hook, yet," Ruby laughed as she went to open the door. "Hello, Mrs. Gold," she greeted Emma's mother and stepped aside to let her in.

"Good morning, Ruby. And it's still Mary Margaret for you," she insisted. The brunette apologized bashfully, biting her tongue. Emma had mention a thousand times, that her mother didn't like to be called Mrs. Gold, which had obviously to do with the fact that her husband's a bully. "Is Emma feeling better?" the pixie haired woman asked, still standing in the small hallway.

"Indeed, she is!" Ruby said, as she heard her friends approaching footsteps. She grinned brightly, and added, "It is as if she had some sort of miracle overnight healing. She's all but glowing, I don't even know how she did it. She must had a very, very restful night. Right, Em?"

The blonde had to suppress a groan, and if she weren't so damn happy, she probably would have strangled her friend right in front of her mother. Emma greeted her mother with a kiss on her cheek, telling her that she was feeling better.

"Are you sure, darling? You're feeling a bit warm," Mary Margaret said, while she touched her forehead.

"Mum, I'm fine. I promise," she reassured her. "Are you okay?" she added worryingly, as she really took her mother's appearance in for the first time. Dear God, when had she lost so much weight? And those dark circles under her eyes never seemed to vanish.

"Just tired, honey. I didn't get much sleep."

'Worrying about me', Emma guessed. She felt guilty for lying, but then again, how could she possibly tell her mother, that she was in love with another woman? She would freak out, she knew it. It was the way her mother was raised, strictly catholic. In her eyes, homosexuality was a sin.

"I'm sorry, Mum."

"Don't be, sweetie. Ruby told me yesterday that you guys had an amazing time. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself a bit," her mother smiled.

"Oh, she so did enjoy herself," Ruby muttered under her breath, but Emma heard her and whirled around, throwing her a warning look. Her friend was grinning smugly, and just shrugged.

"Let's go home, darling. I'm glad your diarrhea has disappeared," her mother added, wishing Ruby a good day and leaving her apartment.

"My wha …" You've got to be fucking kidding me! Emma flushed in embarrassment. She stared at her friend in sheer disbelief, mouthing 'Really?' while she shook her head. Ruby literally had had to bite her tongue from laughing out loud. The blonde cleared her throat, and leaned in, whispering, "You're so gonna pay for that," before she followed her mother outside. Just second later she heard Ruby's laugh echoing through the staircase.

* * *

 

The next two days went by so fast, Emma couldn't believe that her brother Neal was now a married man. She was sitting at a table with Ruby and sipped on a glass of ice-cold water, allowing her tired and aching feet a small break. The cool night breeze tickled her skin, while the half-moon shone bright over them. She felt a little exhausted from all the dancing on those 4 inch high heels (what was she thinking?), hence the break. Her face lit up as she watched her brother and his bride floating over the dance floor. It was wonderful. They looked so happy, with their constant smiles and their sparkling eyes.

Warmed spread over Emma's body, as her mind kept bouncing to Regina, over and over again. Her smile fell as she remembered the phone call yesterday, in which her love had informed her that she wouldn't make it to the weeding. Emma had been so looking forward to see her, and was a little disappointed, but then again it was probably for the best. She was pretty sure she wouldn't have managed to take her hands off of her lover – especially if she would wear one of those tight dresses (which was more than likely). That would lead their relationship coming to light. They still hadn't talked about it, and, to be honest, Emma didn't feel nearly ready for it.

Sighing deeply, she let her head fell back and closed her eyes. She missed Regina. It was only two days since she saw her, but she missed her terribly. She missed her touch, her voice, her smile. Even her smell; it was intoxicating. It terrified her how much she ached for her lover. As if on cue, her cell phone rang, pulling her out of her misery.

"Regina!" she whispered into her phone.

"Parking lot, now. I'm waiting."

That was all she said before she hung up. Emma stood up abruptly, her heart beating loudly with excitement. "Ruby, if someone's looking for me, I'm in the bathroom," she said hastily.

Her friend smirked, "Booty calls?" Emma shushed her, waving her off, but her smile and the faint blush on her cheeks gave her away. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's getting laid tonight", Ruby said.

"Dear, God," the blonde groaned, while she pulled her high heels on, "You're insufferable."

"You love me," her friend winked, laughing happily.

"That I do."

"Go get some, Em. I'll be cheering for you."

The blonde rolled her eyes, waving lightly and then leaving discretely through the crow. It was packed. It felt as if all Storybrooke was gathered out here celebrating with them. Therefore, sneaking out was no problem at all. She hurried through the field – she cursed whoever made the decision to celebrate outdoors – careful not to break her neck. Rounding the big farmhouse, she walked through a bunch of parked cars, before she spotted Regina, standing at the yellow bug. Dark brown orbs met green sparkling ones. Emma's face lit up. The crescent moon illuminated the way as she picked up her pace and practically jumped into Regina's arms. She hugged her tightly, almost knocking the breath out of the older woman.

"Emma. I –"

Regina's words were cut off when the blonde's mouth covered hers. Two hands grabbed her face, a tongue demanded entrance, which she granted happily. The kiss wasn't tender, not at all. It was hot and messy, full of desire. A deep groan tore Regina's throat when Emma took her lower lip between her teeth, biting down lightly before she let it go with a pop.

They stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity, surrounded by the faint music in the background and light cricket chirping. Both were breathing hard.

"Why, hello to you, too," Regina broke the silence eventually.

"God, Regina," Emma chuckled and nuzzled her face into her neck. "I missed you so much," she breathed against her neck, prepping light kisses over the soft skin.

"I missed you, too. I'm so sorry I couldn't be by your side tonight."

"You're here now," the younger woman said, leaning back and meeting her gaze. "That's enough."

Regina cupped a pale cheek which was slightly flushed now, dropping a chaste kiss on swollen lips. They hugged again. Emma's arms sneaked around her neck, pulling her in. Unlike the blonde, she wasn't wearing high heels tonight, which led to unusual high difference between them; and Regina loved it. As her face buried into her neck, she put her arms around a slim waist, hugging her tightly.

She had felt awful since Emma had left two days ago. The bad feeling was haunting her every single second of the day. It was eating her from the inside out. She had tried to distract herself by working hard on controlling her magic, taking long rides with Rocinante, and wearing herself out to the point of exhaustion. But none of it helped – until now. She had longed for her love, and now that she felt her arms around her, her heart felt lighter. All her worries vanished as soon as Emma was in her arms.

"You look stunning," she said after a while, looking up, meeting green eyes.

"Thank you," Emma blushed, lowering her gaze shyly, but pressing her body firmer against Regina's. "I really, really missed you," she repeated, running a hand through short dark brown hair; it felt like silk. A surprised "OH" escaped her lips, when Regina spun them around, her back hitting the side of the car. Hungry lips found her throat, trailing open mouthed kisses over her skin.

"You feel so – oh …" a hand grabbed the back of her left thigh, pulling it up, "… good," Emma finished, breathless, as she wrapped her leg around Regina's waist. "You feel so good," she moaned, tugging on the brunette's hair and capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

Regina caressed Emma's thigh, getting more and more aroused with every passing second. She thought seriously about taking the blonde in the middle of the parking lot. She had to feel her – all of her.

"I want you."

"I know," Emma panted, squeezing a riding pants clad ass, "take me. Please."

"I need you, Emma."

"Please, Regina."

Just as the brunette was about to reach between them, her cell phone rang. The ringtone sounded harsh out here, pulling them both out of their little bubble. They tried to ignore it, waiting for the tone to end – but it didn't. Regina groaned in frustration, still not willing stop the kiss. Emma was to one who pulled back in the end.

"You should answer."

"No," Regina grunted, as she tried to capture her lips once more.

"It could be important," Emma reasoned.

Goddamn.

Without changing their position she reached into her pocket. She had to bite back a groan as she saw her sister's number on the display. Great timing, Zelena, just great! She thought.

"Now is really not a good time," she hissed into the phone.

Emma raised an eyebrow at the harsh greeting. She wasn't used to see that side of Regina. As the brunette suddenly let go of her, she got even more confused.

"What are you talking about?" Regina screamed into the device. The sound of her voice had changed dramatically. From pissed off too panicked in a matter of seconds. "Calm down, I don't … okay … calm down, I'll be right there. I'm on my way."

"Is everything alright?" Emma asked, as soon as she hung up.

"I … no. My s –"she stopped. She couldn't just blurting out that she had a sister. Not now. "A friend of mine needs me," she said instead (which wasn't exactly a lie). "I'm sorry, Emma. I'm so sorry." She grabbed the blonde's face and kissed her deeply, "I have to go, I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? Go, be awesome," Emma smiled, squeezing her hands.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"I do. I love you, too."

"I'll call you."

Emma nodded while Regina took a few steps backwards, not just yet taking her eyes off of her love. There was it again – the awful feeling in her chest. She felt a pinching pain around her heart, as if someone was trying to crush it. Zelena needed her. Some kids had thrown stones through her window, one of them had hit her head. She was confused and hurt and panicked. Her sister needed her. But then there were this feeling … she was torn.

"Go, she needs you," Emma encouraged her, when she saw the hesitation. "I'm good. I should probably head back to the others before they start worrying."

Regina smiled lightly, blowing her a kiss, before she went off.

She should have stayed.

* * *

 

Emma still leaned against her car long after Regina was out of sight. She was a little worried about Regina's sudden departure and this mystery friend of hers. The brunette was always pretty reserved when they talked about her life. She was at odds with her family and didn't like to talk about them, and Emma respected that, because she too knew what it felt like. They had each other know, though, and that would be enough.

A smile tugged at her lips, and she let out a quiet sigh, thinking about their hot make out session just minutes ago, which had left her panties soaked. She could feel the wetness between her legs.

"Evening, milady," a voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

She jumped up in alarm, whirling around – Killian.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in sheer disbelief.

"I'm invited to the wedding."

"No, you're not."

He chuckled, taking a wavering step forward - he was drunk.

"No, I'm not," he admitted.

Emma rolled her eyes and was about to leave, when he suddenly stood before her, grabbing her face and pressing his lips against hers. His tongue tried to make his way through her mouth, but Emma managed to push him away.

"Did you lost your mind?" she yelled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand in disgust. Again. He did it again! She was fuming! "Is it a hobby of yours to kiss strange girls, against their will?" she spat.

"Nah, luv. Just you. Sorry," he smirked and shrugged.

"Go get sober, and leave me the fuck alone! I want nothing to do with you, get it already!"

Emma was so mad, and then she did a horrible mistake – she turned her back to him. She had barely take a step, when Killian suddenly pushed her against the car, her front hitting the cool metal. The blonde wriggled like a fish on land, trying to free herself from him, which caused him to laugh. Apparently he thought it was funny.

"Let go of me, immediately or I'll scream!" Emma warned him.

All at once he stopped laughing, but didn't otherwise move. He buried his face in blonde hair and took a deep breath. The anger that Emma had felt so far turned into fear.

"What … what are you doing … stop …" she stammered. Her voice was shaking and her body began to tremble. She froze, as he pushed her hair aside and slit his lips over her neck.

"You smell so good," he whispered softly.

As he pushed his hand under her dress, panic rose in her.

"Don't touch me!" Emma shouted.

She kicked him, but he grabbed her wrists and pressed them with one hand against the car roof. Why the hell is he so strong? She thought. Her scream was stifled by his free hand. His heavy body pressed hers against the car – she could feel his erection.

"Calm down," he whispered in her ear.

Frantically she squirmed under his grasp.

"I won't hurt you. Let's just play a bit, shall we?" he breathed out.

He let his tongue slide over her neck, and a cold shiver ran down Emma's spine. She looked around, hoping that someone was nearby. But there wasn't. As he let go of her mouth she was about to scream again, but he pressed his body firmer against hers and laughed in her ear, "Don't even try, or I'll really hurt you. Understood?"

"Please, Killian. Let go of me. You'll regret this tomorrow," Emma said, trying to sound as calmly as she could, but her trembling voice betrayed her. He could feel her fear.

Of course he didn't listen to her, instead he began to caress the inside of her thighs.

"We're just playing a bit."

Emma pressed her legs together, disgusted by his touches, but he was too strong. His fingers reached her panties – her wet panties. She gasped in horror.

"Please, stop," the blonde whimpered.

He pulled on her panties, and giggled darkly; it was poison to her ears. Tears were running down her cheeks, as he pushed the panties aside, sliding a single digit through her wet folds.

"What … what are you doing? Please, stop it," she pleaded with tears in her eyes.

He pulled his hand back, and suddenly held his finger in front of Emma's face.

"Look how wet you are, luv."

For Regina, it had been for Regina.

"You like it, don't you? You're a filthy lil whore."

She had never felt more humiliated than at this moment. It weren't just his words. She felt as though her body had betrayed her, even though she knew it hasn't. It had been for Regina, not for him.

Again, he tugged playfully on her panties, his other hand cupping her breasts. BASTARD! Emma bit her lip, and rammed Killian with full force her elbow in the ribs. He cried out in pain and staggered backwards. The blonde turned around and started to run, but he reacted quickly, without much effort grabbing her waist and whirling her around.

"Not so fast, I thought we were going to play," he spat angrily.

Emma screamed again, as loud as she could. He put his hand once again on my mouth, but this time she bit down, kicking him between his legs.

"Fuck," he hissed.

They stood there, facing each other, breathing hard. Killian's eyes flashed dangerously, while tears were running down Emma's face. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest.

"You're fucking sexy, when you get mad," he smirked.

Roughly he grabbed Emma's chin, pressing his mouth against hers, biting down, hard. She tasted blood.

"You like it the hard way, don't you? It gets you wet," he whispered softly.

His hands grabbed both of her breasts, squeezing them brutally. Startled, Emma held her breath.

"Those will be mine," he said threateningly. Then one hand moved down her body, cupping her core through her dress. "Just like that," he pointed out.

Emma's feet threatened to give away, and she had never felt so humiliated in her whole life. She gathered her last strength, spit on his face and pushed him away.

"You disgust me," she replied, trembling.

His cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and gazed at the display.

"I have to go now, luv. I'm sorry to leave you," he apologized sweetly.

Emma swayed a few steps, leaning her body against her brother's car.

"Go away … I never want to see you again," she said quietly.

"Oh, but luv, you will … faster than you can imagine," he muttered happily.

And then he left …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please, let me know what you think. I love every single Review, no matter if it's positive or negative. I learn from them :) Feel free to PM me, if you have some questions. AND please don't forget - SQ is ENDGAME, no matter how angsty this story will become.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So sorry for the delay, lovelies! I had some busy weeks. Hope you will like it :) 
> 
> All mistakes are mine, I am sorry for them.

Chapter 14

 

 

Zelena was fuming by the time Regina arrived at her house. The panic and shock long forgotten, she was cursing loudly, throwing things around her living room. Her piercing blue eyes were full of anger, and green smoke enveloped her shaking body.

“Those disrespectful brats!” she screamed. She reached for a glass, throwing it against the already broken window. “I’ll teach them some respect! I’ll leave them hanging from a wall for an hour. Let’s see if they dare to disrupt my peace again!”

“Enough!” Regina said, firmly. “You will do no such thing, Zelena. Pull yourself together.”

“I –“

“Sit down, and let me take a look on your forehead,” the brunette demanded.

Finally, puffing out a breath, Zelena stopped pacing around and did as she was told. Her younger sister took her chin between her fingers, turning her head and inspected her. She hissed as Regina blew lightly on her forehead. “Just a scratch.”

“It hurts, Regina.”

The words were whispered, barely audible, and Regina felt a pang in her heart at her sister’s tone. She knew that Zelena didn’t mean the little scratch on her forehead. She knew that her sister was in fact talking about her life – her horrible life. Disowned and banished from the enchanted forest … no, from her mother, the bastard child no one was supposed to know about. The wicked Miss Z on this godforsaken town, trapped by invisible borders. Regina was everything the redhead wasn’t and yet since they met a few months ago, there was such a strong bond between them.

“I know,” Regina smiled sadly. “Here, let me get that for you.” Her hand hovered over the small wound, healing it completely within seconds. She was pleased with the outcome as she looked at her sister’s flawless face.  

The action elicited a small smile from the redhead, “Impressive.”

“I am learning from the best,” Regina grinned.

“Are you trying to butter me up, sis?”

“Ha! As if I would need that.”

They sat there for a while, content with the silence and each other’s company. There were never really much words needed between the two of them. Most of the time they were working on Regina’s magic, Zelena teaching her how to control it. Some days they would watch TV together, sipping on coffee or alcohol – depending on their mood, and sometimes, like in that moment, they would just sit together.

“So, tell me. Who’s that person you are so smitten with?” Zelena said eventually.

“I … how?”

“Oh, sis. You’re glowing like a star in the night sky … wow that was poetic.”

Zelena giggled and Regina joined in. As if on cue her phone rang – Emma. Her whole face lit up as she put the phone on her ear, but it instantly fall when she heard Ruby’s voice not Emma’s.

“Regina?”

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately.  

“I … I don’t know, Regina. She doesn’t talk to me. She just called me and said she needed to get out of her so I took her to my apartment. She won’t stop crying, and I don’t know what to do so I –“

“I am right there!” Regina cut off her rant, springing on her feet. Her heart was racing. Zelena followed her as she ran to the door, grabbing her arm to stop her.

“What happened?” she asked, worry in her voice. She had never seen her sister like that before.

“Emma … I … my girlfriend. Something happened, she needs me. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, silly. How can I help?”

Regina was worrying sick, her whole body started trembling. She closed her eyes and focused hard. “Just stay safe, okay?” she whispered, before she vanished in a haze of purple smoke.

* * *

 

Regina felt a bit dizzy when she appeared in front on Ruby’s apartment. Without looking around to make sure that no one had seen her, she entered the building and raced up the stairs. She knocked loudly against Ruby’s door, breathless from fear. The waitress’s furrowed her brows as she opened the door.

“That was quick, how –“

“I was nearby,” Regina lied without batting an eyelash. Now was certainly not the time to feel bad about it though. Emma was priority. “Where is she?” Ruby led her through the small hallway to her living room, where Emma was sitting on the couch, her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She was sobbing quietly. Regina’s heart broke at the sight of her love. “Emma …”

The whisper of her name made her look up. Sniffling, Emma stood up, looking at Regina in something like disbelief and awe. As if she couldn’t believe her eyes. “You’re here,” she said, more a question than a statement. She took a step forward, before she jumped into Regina’s waiting arms.

“Shh, it’s okay,” the brunette whispered, holding her tightly. “What happened?”

Emma shook her head, burying her face in the crotch of Regina’s neck. Her sobbing became heavier, she had trouble holding her tears at by – they just didn’t stop. The blonde had an inner battle with herself. Should she tell her, or not?

“Emma, dear, you’re scaring me …”

“There’s that guy …” the blonde sniffled. “After you left he suddenly showed up and he … he …”

“What did he do?” the Regina hissed through her teeth, her grip around Emma tighten automatically.

Emma wriggled out of Regina’s arms, locking eyes with her. Her usually chocolate brown orbs were nearly black now, her features etched with rage, pure rage.

“I … nothing, he did nothing.”

“Do not lie, Emma!” Regina yelled suddenly, making her jump. The brunette let go of her and paced up and down the living room, muttering something in a foreign language. Her hands were balled to fists, she looked like she was ready to kill someone. “You are lying!”

“Regina –“

“Did he touch you? Did he?” she shouted out. “I swear to God I’ll kill that bastard.” She turned around and grabbed Emma’s arms. “Look at me,” she demanded when the blonde kept averting her gaze. “Who is he? I’ll end him, I swear. What did he do to you? Tell me!”

“He –“

“Did he … oh my God,” Regina whispered, letting go of Emma and hiding her face in her hands, taking a shaky breath. Her whole body felt as if it was on fire.

“Wha … shit,” Emma said as she realized what Regina was thinking. “NO! No, no, no. I swear, Regina. Look at me.” She noticed that Regina was shaking like a leaf, and when their gazes locked once more, her heart clenched painfully in her chest. “He didn’t rape me, I swear. He didn’t.”

“But –“

“He’s just a jerk, who is bothering me for some time now, and tonight he … he was hitting on me like usual. This time he tried to kiss me, and I guess it was just too much for me, and I … I exaggerated the whole thing, I am so sorry, I didn’t meant to freak you out. I feel so silly now. I’m sorry, Regina.”

“Why are you apologizing, Emma? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“I don’t know it just seemed silly to bother you with my problems –“

“Silly?” she roared, feeling her magic boil and threaten to burst out. “Someone is bothering you and you thought it would be silly to tell me? Your girlfriend? Your problems are mine problems, isn’t that how a relationship works? You’re supposed to BOTHER ME with those kind of problems, Emma!” Suddenly, the light above them flickered lightly. _GODDAMN,_ Regina thought, biting on her lower lip and trying to regain her composure. She was so goddamn angry, but more so, she was hurt that Emma didn’t trust her enough to tell her things like that.

“Ruby?” Emma looked from the light to her friend, confused. Ruby was standing at the threshold, seemingly a bit uncomfortable, but she just waved her off and said that the flickering happened sometimes in this old building. With a curt nod she left the room, leaving the couple alone to deal with whatever was happening right now. The blonde sighed deeply and rubbed her face. She had no idea how the night had turned out this way.

“I am sorry,” Regina suddenly said, taking a seat on the couch.

Emma’s eyebrows furrowed as she sat next to her girlfriend.

“I am sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. I guess trust is –“

“Regina!” the blonde cut her off, grabbing her face, forcing her to look at her. “Don’t! Don’t ever think that! I just didn’t tell you because I’m stubborn and a stupid piece of shit who thought she could handle it alone. I love you, Regina, I love you so much! Please don’t ever think I don’t trust you!”

Tears were running down both girls faces, before Regina chuckled lightly.

“That you are,” she said, shaking her head.

“Huh? Oh, a stupid piece of shit?”

Regina rolled her eyes at that, dropping a kiss on her lips, “Stubborn, dear.” She pulled the younger woman into her arms and hold her tightly. They were content sitting there in each other’s arms, listening to each other’s breathes. It was the first time in their young relationship that they had some kind of fight, and Emma felt like shit for causing it. Though, as soon as she had seen Regina’s reaction she knew she couldn’t tell her Killian’s name. She was worried about her girlfriend, she didn’t want the situation to escalate and, God forbid, put Regina in danger. In the end Killian was a man … God knows what he was capable of.

“Tell me his name.”

Emma’s face scrunched painfully as Regina’s words cut into the silence.

“I don’t know his name. I never asked.” The last part wasn’t entirely a lie, but Emma felt like shit nonetheless. She told herself it was necessary. She had to protect Regina. She had to!

If Regina sensed her lie she didn’t let it show. Instead she just hold her tighter, dropping a kiss on her head and caressing her back. It had been a hell of a night and it didn’t take long until Emma felt her eyelids flutter. Within seconds she fell asleep, content in the arms of her love.

 

* * *

  
  
Just two days later, after everything had calmed down, Emma was laying in her bed, talking to Regina. They hadn’t seen each other since the wedding day, but Emma was planning on sneaking out tonight and spending a few hours at Regina’s. It was a risk, yeah, but she was willing to take it. The blonde knew what her stepfather would do if he caught her, but she honestly didn’t care. She had to see Regina.

“I can’t wait for you to come,” Regina sighed into the phone.

Emma blushed at the double meaning, grateful the brunette couldn’t see her.

“Multiple times,” Regina suddenly added.

The younger woman felt her body heat increasing. “Regina, stop … that’s …”

“Hot?” she suggested. “I bet you’re all red and flustered and you’re biting your lip.”

Emma faked a coughing fit and sat up in her bed, palming a hot cheek and grinning like a fool. She was indeed biting her lip, painfully so, just to hold back the small moan that threatened to escape her. It was almost embarrassing how aroused she became just by talking to Regina.

“I think it’s time for you to gain a little more experience.”

“With you, gladly.”

“Of course with me, dear. Or are you secretly gaining some experience all by yourself?”

“Regina!” the blonde breathed out, shocked. She could swear by now her face had the same color as her dark red sheets. Regina just chuckled, amused.

“EMMA!”

The sudden howl that came from downstairs made her jump and froze at the same time.

“Shit,” she muttered.

“Your stepfather?” Regina said, more a statement than a question.

“Yeah. Sorry, I gotta go. See you later?”

“I am looking forward to it, dear. Take care.”

“I will.”

As Emma hung up, she was already halfway through her room, tearing her door open, and sprinting downstairs. When she reached the living room, she stop dead in her tracks. They had visitors. And not just any visitors. According to the crown on the woman’s head there was standing Queen Cora. In her house. In her freaking living room. With none other than Killian.

“Emma,” her mother was suddenly standing next to her. Mary Margaret had a big smile on her face. When was the last time she had such a big smile on her face? Emma couldn’t remember.

Something had been going on in this house for quite some time now, she just hadn’t know what. And she still was at a lost. Queen Cora was standing in her living room, for God’s sake. With Killian, the asshole who was bothering her for weeks and months now. Killian, who had assaulted her. Nothing made sense. Absolutely nothing.

“Where are your manners?” Robert suddenly hissed into her ear.

She flinched, but his voice somewhat pulled her out of her trance. How does one greet a Queen? A handshake? _Don’t be silly, Swan!_ Instead of an embarrassing handshake she made an even more embarrassing curtsy.

 _Oh my God, can this get any worse?_ Emma thought.

Fate must have seen her question as a challenge, because yes, it was getting worse.

“Queen Cora and her stepson Killian,” Robert announced, as though it wasn’t already obvious. “They came to ask for your hand, Emma.” He added and grinned malicious.

Was this some kind of freak show? Was she having a nightmare? Emma closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. She felt dizzy. Like, the sick and throwing up kind of dizzy. She doubled over, having trouble breathing. The blonde clutched her sides, digging her fingernails into her skin through her top. She couldn’t breathe. She just … she couldn’t breathe, and suddenly everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick around, Swen's. A storm is coming our way, but don't forget - SQ is endgame <3 
> 
> PS: If you haven't already, you should take a look at my other story. Contrary to this one, "The Appointment" is pretty fluffy, with a lot of humor and smut. :)


	16. Chapter 15

****

Chapter 15

 

Her head ached, and she couldn’t open her eyes. They felt heavy, just like her body. A groan escaped her mouth as she tried to sit up, her lips were dry as the Sahara.

“What the hell?” Emma chocked out, grabbing her throbbing head. It took her a few minutes before she eventually managed to open her eyes. The dizziness was overwhelming and it took her another few seconds to gather her bearings. Her room. Okay, she was in her room, which was a start. Little by little the realization hit her. Killian. Queen Cora. Her stepfather’s malicious grin. The memories shot into her mind with almost brutal force. “No, no, no,” she muttered, panicked.

A dream. Yes, Emma decided that it all was just a dream. It had to be a dream! She sat up fully and shook her head just as her mother came into her room. Laughing nervously, Emma started, “Mum, guess what? I had a very bad drea –“

“Oh my God, Emma, I am so happy!” Mary Margaret cut her off, and only then Emma noticed the big smile on her mother’s face. For the first time in months her mother looked happy. Utterly happy. And Emma feared that the reason for this happiness was … “You’re going to marry Queen Cora’s stepson!” her mother squealed and clapped her hands.

_Why. Dear God, why?_

“Mum, listen –“, Emma tried, but her mother couldn’t stop talking.

“He is so handsome! I had no idea you were seeing someone. Why didn’t you tell me, honey?”

Of course that was just a rhetoric question, because Mary Margaret sat down at the edge of the bed and hugged her daughter tightly, not once stopping her rant. “I am so, so happy, Emma! He is perfect. Handsome, charming and from a good family. I mean, you’re technically going to be a princess. This is so awesome, I can’t believe it! A princess, Emma!”

The blonde cringed at that word. A princess? Yeah, she couldn’t believe it either … and she didn’t want to believe it. How was it possible that her life could turn upside down in the blink of an eye? Hadn’t she just talked to Regina? The love of her life? And now there she was sitting in her mother’s embrace … celebrating her future engagement with Killian of all people. With freaking Killian!

“Mum, please, give me a second. I need to tell you something. I –“

“Does our girl feel better?” a voice from the threshold interrupted her.

GODDAMN!

“She does,” Mary Margaret answered her husband who now stood in the room with crossed arms. “I was just about to tell her that Queen Cora and Killian will come tomorrow to finalize the engagement. God, Robert, I am so happy!”

Mary Margaret stood up and hugged her husband. Emma’s heart clenched painfully at the sight. No matter how good it felt to see her mother so happy, she had to do something. She had to end this madness – now. Because there was no way in hell that she would marry that asshole.

As she opened her mouth to tell them just that, suddenly no words came through. Confused, Emma’s hand went to her throat. She heard a small chuckle and looked up, locking gazes with her stepfather. The Bastard had raised his hand behind Mary Margaret’s back, a dirty grin on his face. Magic. He was using magic to shut her up.

“I am in the mood to bake something. A chocolate cinnamon cake,” Emma’s mother announced happily. She bent down and dropped a kiss on her daughter’s head, clapping her hands one more time, before she practically bounced out of the room.

Emma jumped out of her bed and gestured wildly at her throat. Robert just watched her for a few moments, an amused smirk on his face, before he finally waved a hand.

“Fuck, was that really necessary?” she groaned in annoyance, soothing her burning throat.

“Watch your mouth, brat,” her stepfather chastised her. “Yes, it was. Because I knew what you were going to say, and I do not want you to say it in front of your mother.”

“You knew what I was going to say? I didn’t know that wizards have the ability to foresee the future,” Emma rolled her eyes, which promptly earned her a slap.

She grabbed her burning cheek as Robert stepped way into her personal space, his alcohol filled breath hitting her face. Emma had a hard time to not just flinch back and scrunching her face in disgust. She gritted her teeth and hold his gaze. Her stepfather giggled as he shook his head, running a digit over Emma’s left cheek. “All these years, all these punishment’s, and you’re still stubborn as hell,” he said. Sighing deeply, he stepped back, his smile now growing into a full blown grin. “For your information, I may not foresee the future, but I can foresee YOUR future. You are going to marry Queen Cora’s stepson –“

“I will not!” Emma cried out, cutting him off.

“Hm … I am sure your girlfriend would not like that, would she?

Emma’s blood froze in her veins. She chocked on the word’s she had wanted to say. How? How could he possibly know about Regina?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she tried, but Robert’s chuckled told her that it was in vein.

“I must say, she is pretty with her short brown hair and those skirt she likes to wear,” he stated.

That was is; Emma exploded. “You’re disgusting!” she yelled, balling her hands into fists. “Don’t look at her, don’t even mention her!”

“So protective”, he giggled “… maybe I should pay her a visit. I am sure that will knock some sense into you. After all, she lives alone in the forest … God knows what could happen to her.”

Was he bluffing? Would he hurt her? Emma couldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t let that happen!

“Don’t you dare touch her!” she growled.

“Imagine how disappointed your mother will be, if she finds out that her daughter is a lesbian.”

“Stop it …”

“You sure noticed how sad your mother is lately … she will be devastated …”

Emma stumbled backwards until her back hit the wall. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

“Her only daughter … nothing more than a disappointment.”

“Please, stop …” Emma said quietly, wrapping an arm around her mid-section.

“And imagine what will happen to us if we say no to the Queen … we can’t have that, now, can we?”

By now, Emma was trembling. Her eyes were clamped shut, her lips pressed together. She didn’t want to hear that. It hurt. It hurt so much, it felt as though a knife was stabbing into her, over and over again. An invisible force coerced her to open her eyes, the back of her hands were now pressed painfully against the wall. She had no choice but to look at him and listen to his words.

“Be careful what you say, Emma. Mark my words, dearie. You know me, I am not joking around.” And with that Robert stepped out of her room, leaving a hard breathing Emma alone. She couldn’t help the tears from spilling. Crying, she collapsed onto the floor, wondering how in hell she was going to fix this.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until a few hours later that it fully hit her what was going on. She had barely touched the cake her mother had baked for her, even though it was her favorite. Mary Margaret suddenly seemed like another person. Gone was the sad and tired looking woman. No matter how much it pained Emma to admit it, her mother was like her old, her happy self again. She was glowing like a sunshine, a smile was glued permanently on her face. She even started with the wedding planning’s.

“You will be such a beautiful bride, honey!” she said as she caressed Emma’s cheek. Suddenly, doe-green eyes were shining with unshed tears. “I am so happy for you, Emma. I am so, so happy!” Mary Margaret whispered. She pressed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead, her lips lingered there a little longer than normal. Emma’s heart ached all over again, and she felt a big lump in her throat. Swallowing painfully, she put a smile on, her own eyes filled with tears for an entirely different reason – Regina.   

Regina, she had to see Regina.

“I am going to take a run,” she said and stood up.

Her mother furrowed her brows in confusion. “Isn’t it too late for a run, darling?”

“It’s just past 9 pm, mum. I need my run.”

Emma felt her stepfathers gaze on her, but she decided to ignore it. Stepping into the hallway she put on her running shoes and left the house. It was dark outside. The cool night air tickled her face as she took a few deep breaths. It took her a while before she felt calm enough to actually start running. Her feet took her around the corner of her house as she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. Out of sheer panic, Emma dropped her phone. It landed with a crash on the asphalt as she automatically stumbled a few steps backwards. Damn it!  

“You!” she growled quietly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Killian apologized sheepishly.

“Leave it!” Emma hissed as he tried to pick up her phone.

He raised his hands, “Sorry,” he whispered.

“What are you doing here, Killian?”

“I’m smoking.”

“No! What are you doing HERE!” Emma snapped. “I want to know what the hell you want from me!”

“I love you, Emma.” The blonde shook her head in disbelief.  "I also wanted to apologize for yesterday. I … I’ve been drinking too much …”

Blame it on the alcohol, of course. As if that justified his behavior.

"No alcohol in the world can do something about the fact that you are a disgusting asshole!" Emma responded hatefully.

"Sorry …" At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

"Sorry? Do you think that is enough to excuse the humiliation that I experienced a few days ago? I hate you, Killian. You're nothing but miserable scum!”

“You’ll to love me when you’re my wife,” Killian stated, matter-of-factly.

When she was his … now as she stood right in front of him, the thought seemed so absurd that she laughed out loud. She laughed and laughed, all the while Killian didn’t even flinch.

“What’s so funny,” he asked, eventually.

Emma stopped laughing, and took a few deep breaths as she wiped tears from the corner of her eyes.

“Everything!” she replied. “I’d rather jump from the bridge than to become your wife.”

The blonde picked up her phone, snorted in disdain, and walked past him without further notice. She cursed under her breath as she noticed the crack on her display. Sighing, she put the phone into her pocket and went off. She had to see Regina.

 

* * *

  
  
Regina was humming as she waited for Emma. The blonde had send her a message that she was on her way. Even though it was unusual that Emma showed up that late, Regina didn’t mind. On the contrary, she was happy to spend some more time with her love and she was looking forward to see Emma’s reaction to her gift. The biggest smile crept on Regina’s face as she took the jewelry out of the box. A small, shining swan with a crown hung on the chain. It was handmade. Just for Emma.

Regina jumped up from the couch as she heard the knocking, indicating that Emma was finally here. As soon as she opened the door, she hugged the blonde to her.

“I missed you,” she said, dropping kisses all over her face. Suddenly, Emma grabbed her face and kissed her with all her might, making her heart beating faster in her chest. When they broke the kiss, Regina pulled Emma fully into the cabin. “Turn around, Emma.”

The blonde complied. Regina pulled out the chain once more and approached her love. She pushed long, blonde hair to the side and kissed Emma’s shoulder. Her lips went further up, reaching her neck, teasing it with her tongue. Regina felt Emma’s shudder against her lips. “I love you, Emma. So much!” The brunette finally hung the chain around Emma’s neck, dropping a final kiss on her pulse point.

“Regina …” Emma started, turning around quietly. “We need to talk.”

Her voice was barely a whisper and as Regina took in the serious expression on her face, a cold shiver ran down her spine. “What happened?” the brunette asked gently, stroking her love’s cheek.

“Regina, my … my parents …”

Emma’s voice failed. All the tears she had been holding back were suddenly running down her face. Breathing became hard, and I didn’t help at all that Regina was looking at her all confused and helpless. Emma had to pull herself together to force the next words over her lips.

“I am going to get engaged,” the blonde said barely audible.

Regina’s confusion only grew. “What?” she asked, laughing nervously. “Are you proposing? I thought this would be a bit more … romantic. Or are you worried that I am going to say no? Because that is not possibly, Emma. I love you, and I would marry you in a heartbeat, but isn’t it a bit too soon for a wedding? I mean, we aren’t even out, right? Or did I miss something? Perhaps we could –“

“Regina, stop!” Emma cut off her rant. She grabbed the brunette’s wrists, and locked gaze with her. “Regina … my parents want me to marry someone else.”

All the color drained from Regina’s face. She tore herself out of Emma’s grip and took a few step backwards. Confused, she ran her fingers through her short brown hair. “But … but … how … I mean …”

Emma felt sick as she witnessed for the very first time, a speechless Regina. Who could blame her?

“I think my stepfather had been planning this for a long time now … I just … I didn’t see it coming.”

“But … who?”

“His name is Killian,” Emma started, ignoring Regina’s shocked gasp. “He is Queen Cora’s stepson. And … the guy … he’s the guy who has been bothering me,” the blonde admitted in a small voice.

“What?” Regina chocked out.

“I know, I know I should have told you sooner about him. But really, what would it have changed?”

“EVERYTHING!” Regina cried out so loud, that Emma actually flinched. “Why didn’t you tell me?” the brunette yelled, running her hands through her short brown hair. Her heart was pumping so loudly in her chest, she thought she would get a heart attack at any second.

“What was I supposed to tell you?” Emma yelled back, the despair she felt mingled with anger. “Hey, Regina. There’s that guy Killian, he is bothering me. Can you please put him on his place?” Emma mocked. “He is a guy, for Fuck’s sake! He could hurt you in a blink of an eye!”

“No, he could not!” Regina roared back.

Emma knew that now wasn’t the right time for an outburst. They were supposed to fix this shit, not to make it even worse. She was breathing heavily and started crying again. Regina immediately came closer, pulling her into her arms.

“It’s okay, everything is going to be okay. Calm down,” Regina whispered into her hair. She wiped Emma’s tears away and then took her face in her hands. “Do you love me, Emma?” The brunette looked deeply in her eyes as Emma was totally surprised by the question.

“What are you talking about, Regina? You know –“

“Do you love me?” the brunette didn’t let her finish.

Sniffled, Emma said, “Yes. I love you. Otherwise I wouldn’t stand in front of you right now.”

Relived, Regina exhaled and pressed a soft, but long kiss on Emma’s lips.

Suddenly, they heard heavy footsteps approaching. When a voice called out, they sprung apart.

“Regina?” Killian called out, knocking once against the wooden door. Slowly, as if in slow motion, the door opened.

_SHIT!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am sorry it took me so long to update, hope you liked this chapter! Please leave me some love (reviews), guys! 
> 
> And don't forget - SQ is ENDGAME, no matter how much our little (big) Swen heart's will hurt throughout this story.


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, it's true; here's another update! I am being productive these days :P The chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I hope you like it anyway. My SQ heart hurt a little while writing this one. Feels, feels, so many feels. It will get worse before it get's better, promise. And if you like to read something lighter (like humor and smut) you should check out my other story. Now, enjoy! :)

Chapter 16

 

Emma gasped in shock as she heard Killian’s voice outside the cabin. Just as she was about to ask Regina what the hell he was doing her, the brunette grabbed her wrist and waved her hand.

Emma’s dizzy felling was overshadowed by her sudden confusion. She looked around and found herself in a strange living room. As she cast a glance at Regina, who was surrounded by light purple smoke, realization hit her. Emma stumbled several steps backwards, her eyes and mouth wide in horror.

“You have magic …” she whispered in disbelief.

“Emma, please, let me expl –“

“You have magic!” Emma repeated loudly. “Goddamn it!” she cursed, and hit the wall behind her several times with full force, leaving a dent behind. Her hand started bleeding, but she didn’t care. Instead she destroyed everything that came into her fingers. “No!” the blonde yelled, knocking the glass table over. It broke into a thousand little pieces that were spread on the carpet now. She felt too many things in that moment. Rage, disappointed, confusion, fear. How could she? How could Regina have lied all this time? How could she hide something like that from her? And Killian? What role did he play in this mess?

“Emma, listen …” Regina started. She reached out, and felt a pang in her heart as her love flinched away from her touch, green eyes so full of wary and … fear. Emma was scared of her. God, it hurt so much.

Breathing hard, Emma stopped yelling as everything went hazy and her knees just seemed gave way. Her back hit the wall with a thump, sliding down and landing on the floor. Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply. Why? Why couldn’t she just be happy? Why was fate messing with her life? Without opening her eyes, she felt Regina kneel in front of her. This time, when she reached out and took Emma’s hand, the blonde didn’t flinch. Instead she squeezed hard and desperate.

“Emma,” Regina whispered softly. She didn’t say anything else until Emma looked at her. Making sure she had the blonde’s attention, Regina started. She told her who she really was, and that Killian was her stepbrother. She told her about her mother, Queen Cora, and about their complicated relationship. Her father, Henry, who had passed away a few years ago. Her sister, Zelena, who was her only family besides Emma. Thick tears were rolling down her face as she finished her story, not leaving anything out.

“I refused to obey my mother wishes. I came here to start over, Emma. And when I met you, I was so head over heels that I didn’t even think about my magic. That was until you mentioned it … you said you hated magic, Emma, you said it was bad and how in God’s name could I have risk telling you at that time? You would have hated me! You would have looked at me just like you did a few minutes ago and I … I cannot stand it. I cannot stand losing you. Magic isn’t all bad. You can’t condemn all magic just because of a bad experience. Your stepfather is bad, not his magic.”

A long break followed. Their breathing was the only thing that broke through the silence.

Eventually, Emma spoke. “What are we going to do now?” she asked weakly.

Regina bit into her quivering lip, relieved that Emma no longer seemed to be mad. Or at least she thought that there were more important things to solve right now. Hovering her hand over the cracks of Emma’s one, she healed the damaged skin within seconds.

“Wow,” the blonde breathed out as a delightful shiver run through her body.

Smiling softly, Regina kissed her now flawless hand, her lips lingering there.

“I don’t know what to do, Regina,” Emma admitted quietly. Her eyes were filled with tears once more, causing Regina’s heart to contract painfully. The blonde put her head down onto her lap. Gently, Regina stroke her hair while her own tears didn’t stop. Fact was, they were facing a dead end. Her mother would never allow her to marry Emma, and Emma’s parents wouldn’t let that happen either. Then there was Killian … Regina could handle him if it wasn’t for the fact, that Cora would protect him. And against her mother she didn’t stand a chance.

“I don’t think my mother would ever forgive me for being …” Emma sighed, gripping the hem of Regina’s shirt. “For loving you. For loving a woman,” she added quietly.

The whole situation seemed helpless. They had two options at this point; they end their relationship, no one will ever find out about them, and she marries Killian. Or …

“I can try and fight my mother and your stepfather –“

Abruptly, Emma’s head jerked up. She stared in horror into chocolate brown eyes, putting a finger against plump red lips. Shaking her head furiously, she swallowed hard. “Don’t! Please, promise me right here that you won’t do something like that! You don’t know Robert, Regina. He is cruel. He is heartless. I would never forgive myself if he hurts you, never! I can’t –“

“Shh,” Regina cut her off, hugging her tightly. “We will find a solution,” she added.

Sniffling, Emma leaned back, meeting Regina’s eyes. “Regina … the only solution is to run away.”

“Then let’s do it!”

Emma closed her eyes. Could she really turn her back to her family? There was this saying; lover’s come and go, but family stays forever. It was true, she knew it, but she also knew that Regina was her family, too. Regina wasn’t just a lover for her. She was THE lover for her. Through her knew what love felt like, with her she had her first kiss and her first time. For the blink of an eye, a smile crept onto her face at the thought of it. The brunette beauty had swept her off her feet and had stolen her heart as well.

Clearing her throat, Emma asked with a trembling voice, “Regina, do you know what consequences this will have?” Her body started trembling as well, like a volcano that was about to erupt.

“Yes, I am aware. But, Emma, love, do you think I’ll watch you marry Killian? Do you think I’ll stand there while you become someone else’s wife?” Regina answered, tenderly.

Silence followed. It was so quiet that Emma could hear her heart pounding against her chest. She looked to the side and began to cry softly. Regina reached for her chin.

 

"Emma, you are my life. I love you! Please say yes. Please, let’s do it. Let’s run away,” she begged softly.

Emma quickly closed her eyes. She hadn’t really think about it, because deep down she knew from the beginning that this was the only solution. The blonde squeezed Regina’s hand firmly, and then nodded.

* * *

  
When Emma opened her eyes again, she was laying in Regina’s bed. She must have fallen asleep, and Regina had teleported them back to the cabin. _Damn_ , she thought as she checked her phone. It was already past midnight, and she had a dozen missed calls and so many more messages from Neal.

‘Come home immediately! Father’s is fuming and Mum is worried sick!’ Neal wrote.

The blonde sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. Just as she was about to call out for Regina, she heard low voiced from the living room next door. The door was ajar as Emma softly padded through the room and pricked her ears.  

“Go away, or do I have to throw you out?” she heard Regina hissing.

“Why are you doing this to me, Regina? What have I done to you?” a voice whined. A male voice.

“Get out, Sidney!”

“But I love you!” the man protested.

Emma thought she was dreaming. Shocked, she pressed a hand against her mouth to stifle the sob that threaten to escape her.

“I am saying it one more time; leave, now!”

Regina sounded angry, but she was still talking quietly. A few seconds later the cabin door fell close with a loud clang. Emma took a deep breath and then went slowly into the living room. As Regina noticed her, her eyes widen in shock, and she carefully approached her.

“How long have you been up,” she asked quietly.

“Long enough,” Emma replied. “Go away, don’t touch me!” she yelled as Regina tried to grab her arm.

“Emma, it’s not what it looks like,” Regina said desperately. She cursed inwardly that she had forgotten to mention Sidney. Goddamn!

“Of course, it’s never the way it looks.” Shaking her head, Emma ran straight out of the cabin and into the night. Regina followed her, trying to talk to her, but Emma didn’t want to hear anything. She was so tired. So, so tired. Was it all a lie? Why was it so easy for people to lie? She would never understand it. Without a word she kept walking through the woods, until Regina reached out for her arm.

“Wait, Emma. Don’t be so stubborn and let me explain!”

Emma laughed out. Stubborn? She wasn’t stubborn. She was tired. Goddamn tired! “I want to go home, Regina. In my bed. I want to sleep and pretend that this fucking day was just a dream, okay?” She tore herself out of Regina’s grip and looked blankly at her. Rubbing her face, she sighed and went off.


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me!

Chapter 17

 

When Emma got home, she remained standing for a while in front of the door. Her shirt was soaked with sweat as she had run all the way from the woods. She leaned her forehead against the cold door, breathing hard, and tried to think clearly. Her gut feeling told her that she had overreacted. Regina had clearly sounded angry with the man, but then again, why didn’t she mention him? Just as they had decided to run away, a man shows up and says he loves Regina. Groaning, she massaged her throbbing temples.

“Emma!” her mother shouted as soon as she stepped into the house. Tamara was standing next to her. She must have come with Neal. “Where have you been? Are you trying to kill me?” Mary Margaret cried out, angrily. Emma was so tired and just wanted to sleep. Preferably for days. But this probably wouldn’t happen anytime soon for she heard her stepfather yelling from the living room.

Wordlessly, she walked past her mother and Tamara, who grabbed her arm briefly and asked her if she was okay. She nodded slowly, and then entered the living room. There he stood. The man who seemed to decide about my life without asking me. The man she had to call “Papa” even though he had never acted like one. He had never gave her the feeling of being loved. She was a kid when he married her mother. A goddamn kid! And he had hated her from the very first second. And now this man who seemed to enjoy oppressing her and her mother, who enjoyed to make her life a living hell, this man approached Emma and gave her a slap.

“Where have you been?” he shouted into her face. Everyone stood in the living room, her mother, Tamara, Neal and even her little brother Bae. All eyes were on her. Neal’s expression showed sympathy, as well as Tamara. Mary Margaret was already sobbing, and even Bae didn’t really look comfortable. They all knew that they couldn’t help me. They couldn’t fight him.

“Running,” Emma answered quietly.

“Don’t lie!” Robert roared and slapped her again. Surprisingly, Emma felt no pain. “Tell me where you have been!” he demanded loudly, even though the bastard knew exactly where she was.

“Running.” Yes, she was provoking him, but she didn’t really know what has gotten into her. He hit her again, this time harder and with his fist. She felt blood in her mouth. “Robert, please!” she heard her mother begging. Ignoring her, he grabbed Emma’s hair, slamming her head against the wall. Then invisible fingers encircled her throat, squeezing hard. The blonde had trouble breathing and could barely hold herself up. “Kill me!” she yelled through gritted teeth. “Come on! What are you waiting for? Do it!” His grip tightened, poor hatred was streaming from his eyes. Emma had no idea how she found the strength to raise her voice. “Do it!” she cried out, “I know you want to do it!”

“That’s enough!” Neal shouted. He came to a stand between Emma and Robert, trying to tear her away from the invisible grip. Suddenly, Robert hit Neal in the face.

“Do not interfere!” he yelled.

Neal was holding his cheek in shock. From the corner of her eyes Emma saw her mother and Tamara crying. Even Bae looked shocked. “What kind of father are you?” Emma shouted, crying. “Aren’t you ashamed to hit a married man? Aren’t you ashamed to use your magic against us?”  

“Emma, don’t,” Neal whispered, but the blonde pushed him aside. Wiping the blood from the corner of her mouth, she took a step toward her stepfather.

“What kind of father are you?” she asked again, this time quieter.

Robert lifted his index finger threateningly and looked at her in disdain. “He’s my son –“

“That doesn’t give you the right to beat him! In front of his wife! He is no longer a child, he is a grown up, married man! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

Scoffing, Robert gestured around the living room, “I gave you all a roof over your heads. I gave you food and paid for every single thing you needed –“

“That was your duty when you decided to marry my Mum!” Emma cut him off. “We were kids when we came into your house. Kids, for God’s sake. Innocent kids. Yeah, you made sure we didn’t have to sleep with a hungry belly or under a bridge. And we showed our gratitude for that over and over again. But … God …” Emma inhaled deeply, running her fingers through her blonde hair. Tears were wetting her cheeks, and her heart … it hurt so much. “You were supposed to protect us, to love us. You never gave us the feeling of being safe, protected and loved. You failed. You failed, Robert.”

He grabbed her by her shoulders and laughed maliciously. “I’ll hit him whenever I want. Understood?” He leaned in and whispered the next words that were supposed just for Emma’s ears. “Just as I will do with you … whatever and whenever I want.”  

He grinned so dirty that Emma couldn’t help it – she spat him in the face with loathing. All the years he had done her wrong, but his last sentence was the straw that break the camel’s back.

“Emma!” Neal and Mary Margaret cried out as if from a mouth.

Tamara held her hand against her mouth in shock, whilst Bae stood up and left the room. Disgusted and shocked at the same time, Robert wiped the mixture of blood and spit from his face and hit Emma again. Once, Twice, Three times. The blood ran out of Emma’s nose now. She swayed and held onto the wall. Trying to get some air, she coughed out a lot of blood. Her throat was burning. Her knees trembling. And her whole face hurt like hell.

"I am not going to marry Killian! You can’t force me," Emma cried out, refusing to break. Refusing to give in.

"Oh, but dearie … I can, and I will," he grinned confidently.

"No!" Emma yelled. "I'd rather die! I'll run away and you'll never see me again."

He came back to at her and pressed her tightly against the wall. "Your mother wants to see you married … with a man, you dyke,” he whispered the last words. “Don’t you want to fulfill her last wish?”

A shiver run down Emma’s spine at his last words. Last wish? What kind of bullshit was that? Was he trying to trick her into a marriage? "What are you talking about?" Emma asked, trembling.

"Robert, no! Please ...” her Mum begged at once.

Robert raised his hand to silence her. “It’s time,” he stated.

Totally dumbfounded, Emma exchanged a puzzled look with her brother Neal. He shrugged slightly, his eyes fixed once again at his stepfather, who continued. “Your mother has only a few months left.”

Emma laughed. A laugh that turned into tears and loud sobs the next instance. It was all too much for her, her nerves were at breaking point.

"How ridiculous are you? Now you are beginning to lie around to force me to marry?"

"What’s all this crap?" Neal interfered.

"Do I look like I'm lying?" Robert hissed.

"Mum, say something!" Emma cried angrily.

But Mary Margaret wasn’t saying anything. She just sighed loudly, while tears were streaming down her face, and sat down onto the couch. Emma’s breathing had quickened and desperately, she let herself fall against the wall. After several moments of absolute silence, Emma swayed to her mother, slumping down on the floor in front of her. The blonde took her mother’s hands and kissed them before she put her head on Mary Margaret’s lap.

“Mum … please say something,” Emma begged, crying.

Mary Margaret gently stroked her daughter’s hair, dropping a kiss on blonde hear that reminded her so much of her first husband – David. “I just want you to be happy before I …”

“Before you what?” Emma asked, even though she didn’t want to hear it. But she had to.

“Emma, honey …” Mary Margaret whispered, lifting her daughter’s chin. “Tamara, sit down. Neal, go call your brother.”

But this wasn’t necessary, for Bar was already standing at the threshold of the door. He and Neal sat down too, only Robert stood in the middle of the living room. He turned his back to them and stared at the white wall. He had propped his hands against his hips. Emma was still sitting in front of her mother’s feet, stroking her hands gently.

"I'll make it short. I have cancer, end-stage."

All of them stopped breathing. Emma’s brain was overwhelmed. Caner ... end-stage. Emma’s heart was pounding in her throat, and she could feel the pulse against her temples. Her hands suddenly felt icy-cold. Dazed, she looked at her mother as she explained everything. Mary Margaret told them that she learned about the disease last year. It was a brain tumor, inoperable. The doctor’s all agreed after all possible therapies remained unsuccessful – she had not long to live.

Emma felt dizzy. How in God’s name had she been able to keep it a secret for so long? One by one, everything made sense. The weight loss. The constant dizziness and circulatory problems. Emma’s heart sank as if someone had placed a large stone on it. Wordlessly, Emma stood up. Her knees felt like jelly and it was a miracle that she managed to stand at all. Swaying, she run out of the living, but Robert stopped her in the hallway by grabbing her arm.

“Where do you think you are going?” he hissed.

“Leave me alone … I just … I just want to sleep.” Her voice was trembling and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Much to her surprise, Robert let go of her. She made it barely up the stairs to her room. Collapsing into her bed, she pulled her knees against her chest. Then she squeezed her eyes firmly together, hoping and praying that this day was just a bad dream …

 

* * *

  
  
Sometime around midnight Emma woke. Her mother was sitting on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair and her arm. “Forgive me,” she said, over and over again. Emma sobbed softly to herself, and still didn’t want to believe it. Why them? Why her mother? Why couldn’t it be just a misunderstanding?

“Emma, honey … stop crying and listen to me,” Mary Margaret said eventually.

Emma could tell that her mother was trying to hold her own tears back. She wanted to be strong for them, for Emma … shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t Emma be the strong one because her mother had almost reached her end? The thought alone that her mother would soon no longer be among them tore Emma’s heart into a thousand little pieces. Helplessly, the blonde buried her head in her mother’s chest and sobbed hard as Mary Margaret spoke softly to her.

“I wanted to tell you, Emma. But Neal’s wedding was coming around and I didn’t want to ruin it. Please, honey … forgive me. You’re my little princess, Emma. I love you more than anything in this world. You must know that I only want what’s best for you.” Mary Margaret stopped and took a deep breath. She then carefully lifted her daughter’s face, wiping her tears away, and smiley sadly.

The blonde swallowed painfully as her mother dropped a kiss on her forehead. She could see the helplessness and the concern in her eyes, and it hurt. I hurt so unbelievably much! How much pain could a human being endure before he breaks?

“Killian’s from a good family, Emma,” her mother spoke, and Emma winced. “He has a bright future ahead of him, and people talk about him in the highest tone. He’s the perfect stepson of the Queen. He is handsome, charming, has a good sense of humor, and on top of that, he loves you, Emma. He told me. You had to see his eyes as he talked about you. He is so utterly in love with you, honey, and I don’t doubt that he will make you happy.”

“What about me, mum? What about my feelings? Doesn’t they count at all?”

“The feelings, the love, Emma, it will come with time.”

“What about you, mum? Do you love Papa?”

Mary Margaret hesitated for a moment, but then smiled softly. “Of course, honey.”

Somehow Emma didn’t believe her, especially since she couldn’t even look her in the eyes while she said that. How could one love such a man? How could one love such a bully? She was probably just here because of them. Because of Neal, Bae and her. Mother’s suffer and endure all kinds of pain just to make sure that they can be with their children.

“Your father is … complicated, Emma,” her mother spoke again and Emma nodded, because yes, that was a way to put it. “I want to see you in a wedding dress, honey. I want to see you getting married in a church, in front of God’s eyes. I want to see you building your own life, having your own family. Kids. I want you to have kids. Tell me, Emma … how am I supposed to leave you here alone with your father?”

Her mother’s voice trembled, and ultimately Mary Margaret couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. So, this seemed to be one of her main concerns – leaving her daughter in the hands of this man. “We are not going to force, Emma,” her mother continued. “But before you say no, please think about it.” She actually managed to smile, despite the tears in her eyes. “Promise me you’ll think about it,” she whispered and took Emma’s face in her hands.

Sniffling, Emma nodded and hugged her mother tightly.

“I love you, honey.”

“I love you, too, Mum.”

___________________________  
  
  
The following days were pure horror. Her stepfather was in a bad mood all the time and demanded an answer as though she had actually a choice. Regina kept calling and texted her all the time. On the other side there was her mother. Seeing how she had given up was unbearable and cruel. How was she supposed to watch her mother dying?

Emma was sitting in the kitchen and sipped on a tee cup, when suddenly her stepfather came in. He was holding his phone in a hand and with the other he pulled Emma up by her arm. “Do you know who just called me?” he shouted, enraged. Without even having a chance to answer, he continued. “The Queen! She demands an answer, tonight!”

Emma gulped, her heart started pounding in her chest.

“Either you finally agree to this marriage …” he paused and came closer to Emma. “Or I’ll will stop on working on a cure for your mother, and she will find out that her precious little girl is nothing more than a godless dyke!” he spit out.

Emma blinked, confused. It wasn’t the dyke part that bothered her, no, it was the cure thing. “Cure? What are you talking about? I thought –“

“Magic, you stupid girl. I am powerful, I could heal her.”

“What do you mean with ‘could’?” Emma hissed. “You’re going to heal her, right?”

Robert grinned.

“You are … you are really going to use Mum’s sickness to force me into a marriage?” Emma asked, stunned. “You would really let her die even if you find a cure in case I don’t agree to this?”

“I have a deal with The Queen, dearie. I never broke any of my deals, and I am not going to,” he answered nonchalantly. As though they weren’t talking about death and a forced marriage.

“You sick son of a b –“

A slap cut of Emma’s words. It hurt. But not as much as the fact that Emma had lost.

 

___________________  
  
  
Emma was breaking. Piece by piece, and she could nothing do about it. Too many emotions flowed through her body and seemed to dominate her. She was lying motionless in her bed. After a few minutes she got up and went on her way …

The blonde massaged her temples briefly, trying to sooth her throbbing and aching head, as she stood in front of Regina’s cabin. Knocking on the door, it took just seconds before the door flew open, and in the blink of an eye there were arms around her neck.

“Emma! Love! I missed you so much,” Regina said, relieved. As Regina realized that Emma didn’t return her embrace, she let go of her.

“May I come in for a second?” Emma asked quietly, and prayed to God that he would help her to get through the next few minutes.

Regina nodded and let her in. Emma quickly made her way to the small couch as her trembling knees were barely holding her up. Regina fidgeted, and bit her lip. “Can I get you something?” she asked.

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

Nodding, the brunette sat beside Emma and put her arm around her. Abruptly, Emma stood up.

“Don’t, please …” the blonde begged.

“Emma, I can explain everything about Sidney. I already told you in my voice mails. It’s not what –“

“Stop it, Regina, please,” Emma cut in. “That’s not why I’m here.”  

Furrowing her brows, Regina said surprised, “It’s not?”

Emma began to tremble all over as Regina approached her. Carefully, Regina put a loose strand of hair behind Emma’s ear, and as her fingers tenderly slid against Emma’s cheek, goosebumps erupted all over the blonde’s body.

“I misses you so, so much, Emma,” Regina said softly.

She came closer, and Emma closed her eyes to inhale one last time the unique scent of her love. She felt Regina’s lips on her mouth and unconsciously a tear ran down Emma’s cheek. Regina’s lips wandered up, kissing the tears of her love away. Anger, helplessness, and despair spread through Emma.

_We don’t deserve this,_ she thought _. No, we definitely don’t deserve this._

“I love you, Emma. I love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me again,” Regina whispered against her lips. The words that she would have loved in every other situation, ached in this one. It felt as if someone had just stabbed her with a knife. Right into her heart. Over and over again.

“I am going to marry Killian,” Emma finally chocked out.

Slowly, very slowly, Regina lowered her arms …

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor shipper heart ... my heart hurt writing this :( Leave me some love, and don't forget: SQ is endgame :)


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have such huge plans with this story ... stick around! I promise you won't regret it :)

Chapter 18

 

 

„This is a joke, right?“ Regina asked quietly. She took a step back and looked at Emma intently. A storm was raging inside the blonde. Numb, Emma stood there while Regina looked at her in disbelief.

“No, I … I’m getting married with Killian,” Emma responded barely audible.

“You can’t do that!” Regina cried out desperately. “I swear to God, I have nothing with Sydney! I –“

“Regina, please. This has nothing –“

“Why, Emma?” the brunette shouted. “Why are you giving up so quickly? Why don’t you fight? I am in the same situation as you, but I never, not once thought about giving up!” Enraged, Regina ran her fingers through her short brown hair.

Somehow, Emma didn’t understand anything at all. Grabbing her head confused, she spoke, “How … what do you mean?”

Regina scoffed. “Why do you think I left the Enchanted Forest? I am supposed to take the throne, to become the Queen … to marry Sydney … my mother thinks he is the perfect husband for me. The truth is, he is a lovesick puppy and it will be easy to manipulate him.”

“But …” Emma paused and leaned against the wall, because her knees felt like jelly and were about to give in. Her mouth was dry as sandpaper, making it hard to swallow. Thousands of thoughts were running through her mind.

“I don’t want to marry him, Emma. He has been in love with me since forever, but I never gave him hopes. Never!” Regina assured her. She approached Emma, but the blonde hold up her hands defensively.

“Don’t, please,” Emma pleaded. She couldn’t handle Regina’s proximity right now, it would just through her off balance.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

Regina sounded upset and desperate, and it hurt Emma to see her love that way, to cause her so much pain, but she was powerless. She couldn’t let her mother die … she couldn’t. The blonde closed her eyes briefly, listening to the ticking of the wall clock. As she felt Regina’s breath on her cheek, her heart started racing and she could hear the blood rushing into her ears.

“Emma …” Regina breathed out.

Her loving, affectionate voice caused to blonde’s body to shiver. Her heart wanted to put her arms around Regina’s neck and never let go of her. Her mind, however, was telling her that she quickly had to get out of her. Head against heart … her head won. Emma slowly put a hand against Regina’s chest and gently pushed her back. Oh God, oh God, oh God. It hurt so fucking much!

“Regina, I will marry Killian,” Emma said as calmly as possible.

Regina grimaced, pain written all over her face, and suddenly reached for Emma’s wrists.

“Regina, please …”

“Don’t you love me anymore?” she asked softly. Emma began to tremble as Regina put her forehead against hers. Dear God, why did it hurt so much?

 "Regina, please! Do not make it any harder than it already is,” Emma begged, sobbing.

"You can’t do that to me."

"No, Regina. I can’t do that to my mother."

"Your mother?" He asked incredulously. “Your mother may be a homophobe, Emma, but you didn’t even try to tell her! She will be okay with it eventually. It is always that way. There will always be people who will be against us! Your mother? Today she will be angry, and tomorrow she will accept it.”

“Maybe tomorrow it’s too late!” Emma cried out. She sobbed loudly and let her tears run free. “My mother is dying, Regina! She is dying! And I can stand the thought that she will be disappointed by me when she does so! My fucking stepfather has a deal with your mother, and he is forcing me into this marriage. If I don’t marry Killian, he will stop looking for a cure … and I can’t risk that, Regina. I can’t risk my mother’s life ... we owe her everything. EVERYTHING! She got married to a bully just to give us a roof and warm food and a bed to sleep in. We would have on the streets. You don’t get it. Of course you don’t. You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth … you’re a goddamn princess!”

“That’s not fair, Emma …”

“No, it isn’t. I know it isn’t. But that’s life, Regina. Life sucks most of the time. Especially mine.”

“Emma …”

“My mother is … she is going to die,” Emma cried. Carefully, Regina approached her one more time, taking the blonde mess into her arms. Instead of fighting the hug, Emma clung to her lover – ex-lover? – for dear life, and buried her face in Regina’s neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Regina. I wish I wouldn’t be so weak … I wish I could fight, but my mother … I just … I can’t do that to her. I just can’t.”

Emma broke away from the embrace after what felt like an eternity. With trembling hands she wiped her tears away and straightened her clothes. She kept her gaze low, afraid to look into chocolate brown eyes, so full of pain and sadness. So full of disappointment.

“I am sorry … you deserve better than me.” Emma sniffled back more tears as Regina slowly lifted the blonde’s chin. Regina caressed Emma’s cheek tenderly, and the blonde couldn’t help but notice that Regina’s chocolate brown eyes had lost their luster.

“I don’t know what to do, Emma,” Regina whispered.

Emma pressed her face against Regina’s palm, desperate for her touch. She tried to memorize the feeling of Regina’s hand on her skin, her kisses and her scent.

“Accepting it, Regina … I know it’s hard, but we have to accept it. We can’t change it, Regina. You and I against the world … the end would be predictable. It wouldn’t work, Regina. It just … it wasn’t meant to be.” It felt unbelievable that Emma was actually able to say those words.

“So we’re supposed to pretend that … that all of this … all of us … never happened?” Regina asked.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Emma’s heartbeat stopped for a second. The blonde took the hand from her cheek and kissed Regina’s palm, her lips lingering there for a moment. Emma gently wiped Regina’s tear away and then … then she kissed her. One last tear, one last kiss … With closed eyes, Emma broke the kiss, turned around and left the cabin without another word.

 

* * *

 

“Let it out, sis. Cry. It will make you feel better.” Zelena was comforting Regina, who had showed up as soon as Emma had left. She was devastated. She was broken. Her mind needed several minutes to process the last hour. She had lost Emma, and she had no goddamn idea what to do about it.

“I … feel so helpless,” Regina started with a small voice. “I mean … it’s her mother. No matter how shitty my relationship with mine is, I get her … I do, I really do. It’s just … it hurts so much, Z.” Finally, the dam burst. Regina started crying. No, she sobbed. She sobbed like she had never before. Her heart ached. Her entire body started shaking, and she couldn’t breathe … she couldn’t breathe.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Zelena whispered as she took her little sister in her arms. She gently stroked her back, whispering soothing words into her ear, letting her cry. Regina needed it. A good cry, to clear her head. Even though Zelena knew that that alone wouldn’t make her feel any better. Maybe nothing could take the pain her sister was feeling right now away.

“I wish … I wish I were stronger,” Regina admitted quietly between sobs. “I wish I could fight Emma’s stepfather, I wish I could fight mother … I even wish I could heal Emma’s mum.”

“Regina –“

“Maybe Emma’s right. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

“Sis, you need to calm –“

“Killian!” Regina suddenly hissed and stood up. “Killian, that son of a bitch … I could … maybe I could –“

“REGINA MILLS!” Zelena yelled. “I’m gonna stop you right there! Don’t even think about it! Are you really willing to go this path? Are you really willing to become like … like our mother? Evil and cruel?”

“I will if that means that –“

“That what?” Zelena cut her off again. She too stood up and faced her sister. “That Emma comes back to you? If you cross this line, Regina, you will become another person. And Emma didn’t fell in love with a murderer. She didn’t fell in love with a person who would take another human’s life, even if said human is Killian Jones. That’s not who you are, and that’s not who you will become. Understood?”

Before Regina could respond to that, black smoke filled the room and just seconds later her mother appeared in front of them. The Queen herself, regal as ever. Regina’s hand itched to punch that smug smirk off her mother’s face. It was Zelena’s hand on her upper arm that stopped her from doing it.

“Listen to your sister, Regina,” her mother finally spoke. “Or, you know what? Don’t. Don’t listen to her. Go and take your revenge on Killian. Go and let darkness fill your soul and blacken your heart. You could use a little bit of all that when you take my place and become the Queen.”  

“You’re evil!” Regina spat out. “I will never take your damn place! And you know why, mother? Because I don’t want to!” the brunette cried out. Her hands were balled to fists, and her fingernails were digging painfully into her palms, as a loud laugh rang through the room.

“You foolish girl,” her mother chuckled and approached her. Zelena stood protectively in front of her sister and raised her hands, but before anything could happen, the redhead was flying through the room. A painful grunt escaped Zelena’s throat as her back hit the wall, her body sliding down into a crumpled heap on the floor.

“Zelena!” Regina called out. As she tried to run up to her sister she suddenly couldn’t move. It was as if her feet were nailed to the floor. Anger spread through Regina, and she felt her magic bubbling just under the surface. Her hands itched and then there was light. Bright, purple light. It radiated from her body and filled the entire room.

“Impressive, darling,” she heard her mother saying. “But that’s not good enough, Regina.” The Queen waved her hand and in the blink of an eye Regina collapsed to the floor, breathing hard. The brunette felt as though she had just run a marathon … as though her energy was sucked out of her, and she didn’t doubt that her mother did just that.

The Queen crouched down in front of her daughter and took her chin between her fingers. “Your precious little blonde has made her decision, and she didn’t choice you, Regina.”

“Because of you and her sick stepfather! I love her and she loves me!” Regina cried out. A tear was running down her cheek, and she nearly lost it as the Queen wiped it roughly away, her voice taking that familiar hard edge, the one she got when her mother was about to punish her.

“Love is weakness, Regina,” her mother scoffed. “You will stay away from her and Killian, and if you so much as approach either of them, I won’t hesitated to rip your girlfriends – how insensitive of me, I meant ex-girlfriend – heart out and crumble it to dust. Understood?”

“You … you wouldn’t …” Regina stammered. Her mother just raised her eyebrow as if to say ‘You doubt me? Try me’.

“Love is weakness,” Cora repeated firmly and then poofed away, letting a broken Regina behind.  


	20. Chapter 19

Several months passed. Emma had been in a haze. Everything that happened in those months went past her. Her mother had happily arranged the wedding, trying and failing to include her daughter. The blonde had given up. She hadn’t seen Regina since the eventful night. She hadn’t even spoken to her. It was horrible. It was killing her slowly. Not knowing where Regina was, how she was doing it was as though someone was torturing her. Longing for Regina was the only thing she felt beside her numbness.

The only time Emma had managed a smile in those past months had been when Tamara had shown up. She was bouncing in her place as she had held a pregnancy test under Emma’s nose. A positive pregnancy test. For a few minutes she had forgotten her situation, or at least put it aside, and was happy. Her brother would be an awesome father.

But then it was back. The pain. The horrendous pain that soon turned into numbness. On top of that Mary Margaret was getting weaker and weaker. Her already pale face lost even more color. Her cheeks were sunken and she had lost a bunch of weight. Her stepfather had assured her that he was working on the cure and since he even started to stay away overnight, Emma believed. Foolish Emma. What hurt the most though was, that in spite of everything Mary Margaret smiled. She never ever lost her smile. If Emma didn’t know better she would say that it was magiced onto her face.

At least she had managed to avoid Killian. Emma wasn’t sure how she was supposed to look at him without wanting to strangle him, let alone marry him. Being his wife … sleeping with him.

_‘Oh, my God. Damn, damn, damn. I am not going to sleep with him. I will not. I will not. I will not!’_

She had been lying in her bed, but the thought alone made her sick – literally. She hurried to the bathroom, and made it just in time. Kneeling in front of the toilet bowl she throw up. Emma groaned, disgusted by her thoughts and her vomit. As she washed her face she avoided the mirror. What was there to look, really? A blonde piece of shit which’s face resembled a corpse. 

 

* * *

 

As if all of that wasn’t enough, her mother convinced Emma to go out with Killian.

“Drink a coffee together, or have dinner. You will get to know each other better,” Mary Margaret had said, smiling as always, and looking so hopeful that Emma just wasn’t able to crush that. So she agreed.

And here she was sitting now, in a booth at Granny’s. Killian sat across from her, smiling so widely and looking so happy, that for the split of a second Emma felt pity for him. But that vanished after good two hours as he reached out and took my hand.

“Don’t touch me!” Emma hissed, a fake smile plastered on her face.

“Fine,” he pouted and leaned back in his seat. “Just one more week then I’ll be able to catch up.” He smirk. Emma’s insides clenched painfully. He was talking about the wedding night. Just the thought of it send a cold chill down Emma’s spine. The blonde was struggling for composure as he grinned triumphantly. This fucking piece of shit! He knew she couldn’t freak out in the middle of the Diner. He knew, and he used it to his advantage.

“Why would you marry someone who clearly doesn’t love you?" she spat out quietly. He got up, as did Emma. For a long time he looked at her wordlessly. “Can’t think of a suitable answer?” she scoffed. Again, he said nothing. Instead he looked her up and down, licking his lips. His steel blue eyes were sparkling and Emma instantly felt uncomfortable. His gaze startled her.

“For the time being it’s enough that I love you. You’ll learn to love me, too,” Killian whispered eventually. The blonde gulped and shook her head in disbelief. How in God’s name could he be so selfish? How could that be enough for him?

“You are … you are …” Emma wasn’t able to come up with a suitable word that would be offensive enough for him.

“The one whose wife you will be,” Killian finished her sentence. “One lives only once, one dies only once, and in my world one get married only once. You’ll live with me, you’ll die with me, and you’ll marry me,” he added as arrogantly as always.

“Stop, I have to correct you,” Emma interrupted him. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and grinned, clearly amused. God, how she hated his grin. “You’re aware how many divorces there are nowadays? A marriage is losing more and more worth and –“

“Not with me,” Killian cut her off forcefully and took a step towards her. “Till death do us part.”

His voice send Goosebumps over Emma’s body, and for a moment she froze. She cleared her throat. “Well … you forgot something,” she said quietly, trying to keep calm.

“And what is that?”

Emma took a step back, closed her eyes for a moment and exhaled deeply. “One loves only once … and my love will never belong to you … never!” She enjoyed his puzzled look for a few seconds before she left for the bathroom.

After a good ten minutes she eventually had to go back. As she left the bathroom and approached the booth where Killian was still sitting, she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. A scent reached her nostrils and sett of a storm inside her. Regina … it was the unmistakable scent of her love. Her heart started beating wildly in her chest as she let her eyes wander around the Diner.

“My stepsister Regina was just here,” Killian’s voice pulled her out of her haze. “I told her you would be right back but she was in a hurry. Just got her coffee and left, otherwise you would have met her. She’s great, I’m sure you’ll like her!”

From one second to the next, Emma was having trouble breathing. Her throat felt dry. She ran her tongue over her lips and swallow which hurt like a bitch.

_‘She’s great, I’m sure you’ll like her!’_

_I would like her? Like? Oh, you ignorant fool, I love her! I love her the way I will never love you!_

Emma was about to throw that into his face, but, thank God, she hasn’t lost her mind completely …

 

* * *

  
  
Emma felt empty. She didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. It was the night before the wedding as she stood under the shower and let almost scalding hot water run down her body. Her skin was on fire but it felt good because it was some sort of a punishment. She punished herself. With bloodshot eyes she climbed into her bathrobe and padded quietly into her room. It was just before midnight, the others already were fast asleep. Even her stepfather had come home in time tonight, reassuring her, that he was close to a breakthrough. And she believed him … she hadn’t any choice.

Emma couldn’t shake of the picture of her mother, lying on the couch, tired and fragile, and breathing weakly. God, it was torture. Seeing her mother getting weaker and weaker. Everything she could do was hoping, and praying, but Emma too grew weaker.

“Regina …” she whispered into her room, and looked around as though she expected an answer. Sighing, she cuddled into her blanket and closed her eyes, hoping that she could get some sleep. Emma had lost almost 20 pounds in the past few months. She looked and if she was being honest she even felt sick. One might think that she was the one dying, not her mother. Restless, she rolled back and forth. At night there was too much time to think. Too regret. Too miss. God, she missed Regina so much.

Emma flinched as her ringtone cut through the silence of her room, ripping her rudely from her half-sleep. She took the phone and noticed that it was 1 am. The number was suppressed but Emma knew who it was. There was only one person who would call at this time … one night before her wedding.

“Hello?” she whispered softly into the phone.

No answer. Only a quiet, regular breathing could be heard.

“Hello? Who is it?” Emma tried again.

Again, nothing. Her heartbeat quickened, and her palms grew damp.

“Regina?”  

She hung up. Regina hung up. Frustrated, Emma threw her phone into a corner and started crying. During the day it didn’t hurt that much to pretend. She was getting better and better at it … but at night … it was hell. It was worse than hell. This one call left her even more suffering than she already did. Suddenly, Emma was overcome by this giant longing for Regina’s voice. For her presence. For her touches. She stared at the ceiling as tears were running down her temples. All the pain all the suffering … was it worth it? Even if it was … she could no longer bear it. She couldn’t do this anymore. She didn’t want to do this anymore.

Emma made a decision.

Carefully, she got up, slipped into a sweater and a pair of jeans and opened her door. She padded quietly down the stairs, not daring to even breathe.

When she reached the hallway, she stopped for a second. Making sure that everyone was asleep, Emma took her stepfather’s car keys from the shoe cabinet, got into her boots and reached for her coat. Silently ... Emma left the house very quietly … for good.

Thank God the car stood a few meters away from the house, so no one would hear it. With quick steps went to the car. Her fingers trembled treacherously as she unlocked the door. She got in, got the engine started and drove away.

 

There was lying surprisingly little snow for January, but in spite of that it was freezing cold. As Emma reached her destination, she parked the car and approached the bench.

“Our place”, she murmured as she wiped away the small layer of snow and sat down. It was their place. Regina’s and hers. Their refuge. There were so many memories connected to this place, to this bench. Wonderful memories and moments in which they could escape from reality and live their own dream world. A dream world from which she was torn way too fast and way to harshly. It was over know, and it wasn’t fair. Emma didn’t want to accept it. Couldn’t accept the way everything had turned out.

The blonde buried her face in her freezing hands and cried all over again. Why was it so damn painful? Why weren’t there any meds that could sooth that kind of pain? Why did she have to watch how her whole world crumbled right in front of her? Emma didn’t know how long she was sitting in the cold. There was only her and her pain that piece by piece tore her apart. In less than 24 hours she would be Killian’s wife. Emma would be his, he would win.

Sniffling, Emma got up and got into her car.

“Why, why why?” she screamed, crying, and hit the steering wheel over and over. Again, she started the engine and drove off.

She had lost all sense of time when she suddenly found herself in front of the Toll Bridge. No soul could be seen as Emma left the car and approached the bridge. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest.

_‘I'd rather jump from the bridge than to become your wife!’_

The words she said months ago, were rushing through her head. Over and over again. Emma never thought that it would ever come so far. Now she stood here and glanced down. Forty yards? Fifty yards? There were thousand thoughts running through her mind. _Will I be dead on the spot? Will it hurt?_

“So what?” the blonde cried out into the darkness.

There wasn’t anything that could hurt more than her pointless life. If one could call it a life. Living with the person whom you absolutely loathe, whom you wished death. His face appeared in front of her inner eyes. She grimaced. Even hearing his name – Killian - made her sick. Let alone his face. And his voice. And his disgusting, arrogant smirk.

She missed Regina. God, she missed her so much! It was unbearable, the horrendous pain. Every day breathing became harder. Every day Emma Swan died a little more.

She wanted it to stop. Why couldn't it just end? She wanted the pain gone – forever!

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore” she whispered, and then climbed over the railing.

Emma closed her eyes, and thought about the past months. She had been a simple, carefree girl. But some much had happened. Regina … she was the good part. But then bad things happened. Her stepfather, Killian, the Queen. Her life had taken a different course than she had expected. And she wanted right now was to get out of this pain. To not feel it anymore. Emma knew there was only one way out of this.

The cold wind hit her face, Goosebumps spread over her body. Her pulse slowed down, and her grip around the railing got weaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 

 

Emma let go of the railing. She was falling down as suddenly invisible hands encircled her waist.

“Emma! Did you lost your mind?” someone shouted.

It was as if Emma was on drugs. Her senses didn’t work properly, and she had no idea what just happened. The grip around her torso grew stronger, and before she knew it Emma was lifted up and carried over the railing. As her feet hit the ground with a soft thud, she felt a real hand on her arm. Emma turned around and found chocolate brown eyes staring at her in shock. In daze, the blonde blinked several times and her breathing quickened.

Am I dreaming? Did the love of her live stand right in front of her, or was she imagine it?

“What the hell were you doing?”

Carefully, Emma lifted her right hand and put it on Regina’s cheek. _Yeah,_ she thought _, it’s Regina. It’s my Regina._ For months she had neither seen nor heard her voice and now she was standing here.

“Answer my question”, Regina demanded in a whisper.

It would have been pitch dark if it weren’t for the moon which was shining bright and full today. With the moonlight, Emma could see the worried look on her lover’s face and those dark brown eyes that were shimmering in tears.

“What are you … how did you came … I …” Emma began with a trembling voice. She still couldn’t believe what had just happened. A second later and she would have been dead now. Shouldn’t she be dead? 

“Answer the damn question!” Regina suddenly cried out. She grabbed Emma’s upper arms. “Are you crazy for fuck’s sake? What were you doing?” She yelled and shaking the blonde hard.

“Dying!” Emma yelled back. “I wanted to die! Why did you come? Go away.” The blonde pushed Regina away from her and started crying – to be exact she never stopped crying. “Why couldn’t you just let me die and end everything? Why, Regina? I just … I can’t handle anymore.” She was sobbing loudly now, and breathing became harder. On top of that, she was cold and shaking like a leaf.

“Emma … babe …” Regina started quietly, but the blonde cut her off.

“Please don’t … please just stop …” Emma begged. “I can’t take it anymore.” Gently fingers brushed sticky blonde hair out of Emma’s face. It had started snowing. “I want this to go away, Regina”, Emma sobbed tearfully, hitting her chest several times. “This pain! It hurts so much. It hurts so fucking much, and I can’t do this anymore. I’m dead already, anyway, it doesn’t matter that I’m still breathing. I’m dying, Regina. Day by day. Hour by hour. I am dying! It has to stop. I want it to stop … I want to die. For you. For me.”

Her voice was quivering, and while she got all of that out of her chest, she had to stop several times to gasp for air. There it was again; the sinking feeling in her stomach. Emma sniffed and coughed and took a few breaths, well aware of Regina’s closeness. Of the scent that reminded her somehow of apples, of her eyes that were shining with so much hurt and so much love.

“Shh, please, Emma, don’t say stuff like this,” Regina begged, her own tears wetting her cheeks. She took Emma’s hands which were numb from the cold and kissed them. “You shall live, Emma. Dying is way too easy. You will live. Understood? You will live for you and for your mother. You will not do this to her. Do you hear me, Emma Swan? You will not do this to me!”

Regina was crying. She was crying so hard, she had trouble seeing. Sobbing, she took Emma’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead. Her eyes. Her nose. Her cheeks. Her temples. She skipped the mouth, though, because she thought the taste of those lips would be too much for her to handle.

“You will live for me, Emma. Okay?” Regina whispered softly, her breath hot on Emma’s cheek.

“Regina, I –“

“Promise me, Emma. Right now. Please … live for me and our memories.” Regina looked at Emma expectantly, her eyes shining in the moonlight. They radiated sadness.

"I promise ..." came barely audible from her lips. Emma suddenly felt dizzy. Everything around her started spinning, her knees gave way, and the next moment everything went black.

 

* * *

  
“What happened?” Emma mumbled, confused. She grabbed her throbbing head as she looked around. The cabin. Regina’s cabin. She was lying in Regina’s bed, wrapped in a blanket. She was freezing anyway. Emma was shaking from the cold.

“You lost concussion”, Regina answered softly, and handed the blonde a cup of tea. “Drink this. It will make you feel better.” Emma sat up, and as she took the cup from Regina their fingers brushed. Goosebumps erupted all over her body.

Regina cleared her throat and sat on a chair, way too far away from the bed. She didn’t look at Emma. She couldn’t handle it right now, so she kept her gaze on the floor, while the blonde sipped on the tea.

“Where’s the car?” Emma asked eventually. “It’s Robert’s, and –“

“It’s here, don’t worry.”

“You teleported it?”

“Yes.”

“You can do that?”

“Yes.”

Regina was fumbling with her finger, and God, Regina never fumbled with her fingers! They were tiptoeing around each other, afraid to talk about the real matter, even though they knew there was no way to ignore it.

“How’d you find me?” the blonde wanted to know.

“I was … I was sitting on our … on the bench. When I heard a car, I hide. And then you were sitting there, and … I don’t know. I watched you a while. You were crying, and … when you got up and drove away, I followed you. The best decision I have ever made.”

Emma decided to ignore the last sentence, and instead focused on the fact that Regina had been sitting on their bench. She watched as Regina sighed deeply. “I still can’t believe that you …” The brunette stopped. Rubbing her face, she leaned back in her chair and pressed her lips tightly together.

“That I was going to kill myself,” Emma finished her words. Her heart was beating normally, oddly enough, she was calm. Regina though stubbornly avoided her gaze and seemed to be lost in her thoughts. “You know what I can’t believe?” Sniffling, Emma put the half full cup on the nightstand, and stood up. As did Regina. “That it had to come this far.”

There they stood. Just inches away from each other, and Emma’s heart stopped beating.

“I am sorry”, Regina whispered, and caressed Emma’s cheek. “I am so sorry.”

Emma lost herself in those brown eyes, and inched closer to plump lips.

“Emma, don’t …” Regina breathed out.

For the blink of an eye, Emma actually hesitated, but then she kissed her. A tender kiss that warmed her cold body in a matter of seconds. She let her hands slid over Regina’s shoulder, and then buried them in short brown hair, soft like silk. Emma loved Regina’s hair.

“Emma”, Regina gasped, breathing heavily. “I think you should go home now.”

_Home? I have no home!_ Emma thought. Her fingers searched for the buttons of Regina’s shirt.

“Emma, stop”, the brunette said and grabbed Emma’s wrists.

“Please … please!” Emma begged quietly. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She had no idea what has gotten into her. It was neither the place nor the time, but … but she wanted Regina. She wanted to devote her body and soul one more time to her. Just one more time. Emma’s lips sought Regina’s, this time the brunette answered the kiss. But just seconds later she stopped once more.

“Emma … this is wrong”, Regina spoke softly.

Sure, theoretically Emma knew this was wrong. She would be married in a few hours. To another person. The thing was, she didn’t care. She simply didn’t care!

“Wrong is that I’ll be another person’s wife in a few hours”, Emma sniffled.

“Emma …”

“Please, Regina … I’m already forced to marry and spend the rest of my life with someone else … Please, I want you. One more time … just one more time!” She didn’t really care if that would make her a bitch, or a slut or a whore. No one would understood unless they would go through the same. And she really doubted that any other person would have acted differently in her situation.  

Emma’s whole body was burning with desire. She was desperate. She was done. And all she wanted was one more time with Regina. Just one more time she needed to be Regina’s. The brunette leaned her forehead against Emma’s. Their hot breaths mingled.

"Please …" Emma said again.

Then Regina kissed her – finally. It was a passionate kiss, full of despair and helplessness. But the most important thing it was full of love! Regina stripped down Emma’s sweater, her hands grazed over her now naked back, and Emma automatically took a few steps back, pulling Regina with her. As her knees hit the edge of the bed, Regina paused, breathing heavily. She gazed intently at the blonde.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Emma?” she asked, panting.

Emma didn’t answered verbally. Instead she just nodded and carefully sank down on the bed. She leaned back as Regina slipped of her clothes in record time. And then they forgot everything. There was only them. Regina and Emma. Emma and Regina. This very moment, was all that counted.

They kissed eagerly. They cherished each other for one more time. Regina let her fingers run gently over Emma’s body. Over her shoulders, over her neck, over her breasts. Emma felt every single touch, and as her lover’s fingers reached her stomach she felt an odd but pleasant tingle in her belly. Her insides felt so cozy and warm. As Regina’s hands found the button of the blonde’s jeans, Emma inhaled sharply, and wrapped her arms around her neck. Silent tears were running down her temple. God, she loved this woman. She loved her so much, it hurt.

“I love you, Emma.”

“I love you, Regina.”

They made love that night. They didn’t come together like the perfect cliché. It was desperate and messy. It was hot and heated. It was passionate, and even a bit awkward as they tried to be in sync, to find the right angle. It wasn’t perfect, by all means. But it was everything. For them, it was everything.

 

Later that night, they were lying side by side on the bed. Emma held the sheets over her chest. They had been silent for a few minutes now. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. Understandable in this situation. Emma’s body was still trembling and coming down from what had just happened, and her gaze was fixed on the ceiling.

“I should go”, she whispered eventually.

Regina didn’t flinch. She didn’t even react at first. Emma didn’t knew if the fact that Regina could keep a straight face even in now, was unnerving or admirable. Suddenly, Regina got up, and put on a robe.

“I will wait outside”, she said and left the room.

As soon as she was alone, Emma sat up and buried her face in her hands. She took a few deep breaths, before she stood up and got dressed. A glance at Regina’s bedside clock told her, that it was already past 5 am. Rubbing her face one more time, she left the bedroom. Emma’s eyes fell on a suitcase that was standing in the corner of Regina’s living room. The brunette was leaning against the kitchen counter, her arms wrapped tightly around her midsection.

“Where are you going?” Emma asked quietly.

“Away from here. Somewhere … I don’t know it yet. The one thing I know though, is that I will never come to that wedding. Even my mother can’t force me to attend that f …” Farce. She wanted to say farce, because that’s what it was, right? A farce. A stupid, idiotic farce!

It sounds silly, but Emma felt relieved. _Thank God!_ She thought. _Thank God she won’t come._ She was sure that she would never be able to handle Regina’s presence on her wedding. Wetting her now dry lips, Emma slowly made her way to the front door. Regina followed her.

“Goodbye”, Regina said, her hoarse voice trembling and betraying her straight face, and OH GOD, Emma’s heart broke all over again. “I hope … I wish you a happy life, Emma.”

Would anyone ever say her name the way Regina did? Would it be the last time she would feel a shiver down her spine, and a tingle in her belly when she heard her name? Would it be the last time she heard her name from those lips? Her heart started beating faster, and Emma knew that she had to leave. Now. One last glance … and then she turned around and left.

As she reached the car she needed three attempts to unlock the door. She was shaking so violently that the key slipped from her trembling fingers. She barely managed to drive out of the woods, before she had to pull over. Regina had wished her a happy life. A happy life. Emma scoffed and hit the steering wheel. She knew it wasn’t possible. She knew that Regina was the only one who could make her happy. She cried, and cried, and cried. All the while one word was haunting her mind.

WHY?

* * *

 

It was almost 6 am when Emma made it home. She parked the car in front of the house, and slowly got out. Carefully, she pulled out her keys, opened the front door, and closed it as quietly as she could. Her cheeks were burning despite the cold outside, and her heart pounded violently against her chest. She took of her boots and her coat and padded through the hallway and up the stairs. As she reached the safety of her own bedroom, she sighed relieved at not being caught.

Exhausted, she fall on her bed. Emma still couldn’t believe what had happened in the past few hours. Standing on the bridge, looking down with the intention to end it all. She shivered at her terrifying actions. Regina had been right. She couldn’t that to her mother … she couldn’t. It was wrong anyway. Suicide was never a solution, no matter how deep one has fallen.

Sniffling, she got up and went to the bathroom, where she undressed and climbed under the shower. The whole time images filled her inner eye. Images of Regina and her. The way Regina had touched every inch of her body, the way she had cherished her one last time. Had loved her. Emma’s tears mingled with the pleasantly warm water.

She sobbed, no, she mourned. For Regina. For herself. For their lost love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Their love isn't lost, I promise!


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 

The next hours went by in a mind-numbing haze. Emma’s mother woke her at 9 am sharp, and even though she got a few hours’ sleep, she felt as if a truck had hit her. Exhaustion filled her bones, but she had no other choice than to go through the usual wedding stuff. Her make-up was on point. Her hair had been fixed. It fell in beautiful waves over her shoulder. Ruby had been by her side, whereas Lily didn’t even show up.

“I don’t get it,” Emma asked her best friend about the absence of Lily.

“Me neither, Emma. She vanished. I haven’t heard from her for days now.”

The blonde shrugged. It wasn’t as though they would have a good time today. No, in the contrary. It would be hell. Emma’s personal hell. No wonder Lily didn’t show up … Emma wouldn’t show up either.

“Did you see my mum?”

Ruby shook her head, and then turned back to fix her own make-up. Emma was already wearing her dress as she stepped out of the room and went to find her mother. It didn’t take long. Emma found her in her bedroom. Mary Margaret was sitting on a chair, her eyes closed. 

“Mum?” No reaction.

_Oh God. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Please don’t be dead._  

Emma’s heart skipped a beat. Slowly, she approached her mother. “Mum”, she tried again, this time tapping lightly on her shoulder. Startled, Mary Margaret flinched and opened her eyes – to Emma’s big relieve. The blonde sighed and grabbed her mother’s hand. “What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, honey. Just needed a few seconds alone time.”

“On my wedding day? Are you feeling okay? I mean, obviously you don’t, but –“

“I am alright, darling”, her mother cut her off and caressed her cheek. “I promise, I won’t die today.”

“Mum, please, don’t say stuff like that. Papa is looking for a –“

“Shh”, Mary Margaret shushed her with tears in her eyes. She cradled her daughter’s face and dropped a long kiss on her forehead. “You know that your papa might not find a cure, right?”

Stubbornly, Emma shook her head, her own tears starting to build. She didn’t even want to think about it. It couldn’t happen. She couldn’t lose her mother now. Not after everything they had sacrificed.

“Emma, look at me,” her mother insisted.

“No, no, no. Stop it, please. Don’t even mention it, okay?”

“Emma –“

The blonde turned her back to her mother. “Lace up my dress,” she whispered, and after a few seconds in which nothing happened, she added, “Please.” Her trembling voice was barely audible, and this time she felt her mother’s hand on the dress. Taking in a shaky breath, she managed not to cry.  

 

* * *

 

Hours later Emma found herself in Killian’s house. It was just a few streets down the road of her old home. It sounded strange … old home. She looked around and started to realize that this would be her new home. No, she decided. It would be just a place to live. Home was Regina. Home is Regina. Home would stay Regina for the rest of her life.

If she had to be honest, the wedding was … perfect. Almost too perfect. The music, the mood, the atmosphere, the food, the guest, the cake. Even her goddamn dress. It was that kind of wedding every girl dreams about. Really, everything was perfect. Expect for one thing. One thing that put everything else in the shade – the wrong person had been standing beside her. Not Regina, no … it had been Killian who had hold her hand. It was Killian who had danced with her.

She was exhausted, and as she entered the bedroom her heartbeat tripled up. In trance, Emma stared at the bed. She didn’t want to do it, goddamn. She didn’t want to. Her body started shaking and she leaned against the closet, closing her eyes briefly. What should she do? Could she do anything to avoid the next thing that was supposed to happen? Killian’s voice tore her out of her thoughts.

“Shall I help you to get out of the dress, luv?” He was standing on the threshold, checking her out with hungry eyes. Emma’s guts clenched painfully

“No,” she said. He ignored her answer and approached her instead. Then he lifted Emma’s chin with his finger. When he tried to kiss her, Emma pushed him roughly away.

“The hell?”  

“Don’t touch me!” she hissed through clenched teeth.

“Are you kidding me?” Killian laughed. “Take off the dress and lay down.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

He reached out again, but Emma took dodged him, taking a step to the side. She was breathing hard, her palms were sweating. Panic seized her. She could hear the blood rushing through her body.  “I don’t want to!” she said again, this time louder.

“Don’t be stupid, Emma.”

God, she hated her name from his mouth. It sounded dirty, it sounded wrong. Something in her brain switched, she wasn’t able to hold back the next words. “I’m gay!” she cried out. “I slept with a woman last night, okay? I don’t want you to touch me!”

Hard breathing, Emma stood there and watched Killian’s expression change. He looked at her blankly for what felt like an eternity. Her whole body trembled, and she couldn’t trust her eyes as Killian suddenly started grinning. He grinned!

“Nice joke,” he said, laughing.

The blonde kept a straight face and didn’t even bat an eyelash. There was a lump in Emma’s throat, making it hard to breath. “This isn’t a joke, Killian,” she choked out.

“What did you say?” he hissed and came up to her, coming to a halt right in front of her. Then he grabbed Emma’s face. “Listen, luv. I’ve been patient, but that ends here, understood? I am not in the mood for games right now, okay?”

“And I’m not in the mood for you!” Emma spat out, pushing him away. “I am gay! I slept with someone else. I slept with a woman, and I love her, do you hear me? I love her the way I will never love you! You can force me to be your wife, Killian, and I know you’re such a piece of trash that you will force me to sleep with you. But you will never be able to win my heart over, never! Remember that, when you try to fuck me straight.” She had no idea what had gotten into her, but she just couldn’t handle his touches. She couldn’t even bare his presence.

“Gay or not,” Killian say, surprisingly calm. “When I get back from the bathroom in ten minutes, you will lie down on the bed. Undressed. Am I clear?”

“And if not?” Emma provoked him.

“If not …” he whispered, and seemed to think for a second before he smirked darkly. It send a shiver down Emma’s spine, making her gulp. “It’s like you said, luv … I will force you. Also I wonder what your catholic and dying mother would think about the whole ‘I am gay’.”

That hit home. That threat gave Emma the rest. It hit her like a blow, and this miserable bastard enjoyed it. Emma’s lips quivered and her knees gave way. As Killian left the room, the blonde dragged herself on a chair and began to undress. Tears were streaming down her face as she prepared herself for the inevitable.

 

* * *

  
  
  
“I can’t handle it, Zelena. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Regina paced up and down her sisters living room, her hands clenched to fists. She was shaking. From anger. From hurt. From despair. She knew that she was unable to do anything. Her mother had made it clear that she wasn’t joking. Cora would kill Emma without batting an eyelash, and Regina couldn’t risk that. But that … it didn’t take the pain away. It didn’t take the images away her head was creating. Killian and Emma. The two of them walking hand in hand down the aisle. Them lying on a bed. He lying on top of her. Having sex with her.

“You have to calm down, sis,” Zelena said after Regina had broken literally all of her windows. She fixed them right away just for Regina to break them again. _I’ll take care of them later_ , she thought eventually. Her sister had been a mess for months now, and after last night it got only worse. Regina had told her about the night she spent with Emma. It was painful to even hear about it, and she couldn’t fathom what it have must felt for Regina. The thing that pained Zelena, too, was that they were helpless. Even if they would join their magic and fight together, they wouldn’t win. Their mother was to powerful.

“I have never …” Regina took a deep breath, “I never knew how to love very well until … until I met her. I never believed in true love, that one single person could turn your live upside down … in a good way. I never believed in that stuff, Z, not until Emma. In such a short time I … I became crazy about her. I became addicted. I needed to see her, to hear her voice, to feel her skin. The past months were horrible, Zelena. Her scent had filled my cabin. In every single corner of my home I could smell her. My mind started playing tricks. I would hear her laugh, her giggles, and her squeals.”

Quit sobs left Regina’s mouth, and Zelena’s heart broke at the sight.

“I love her, Z. I love her so much. She was everything … she is everything. How I am supposed to live with the knowledge that she is someone else’s wife now? How I am supposed to handle the thought of Killian and Emma together? Why didn’t she choice me? Why am I never enough?”

Regina’s voice broke. She was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as she rocked her body back and forth. Gone was the confident young woman, who managed to get away from her mother and make her own decisions. Gone was the woman, who wasn’t afraid to say no to the Queen. All that was left was a wreck. A devastated, broken Regina.

“You’ll learn how to live without her, Regina.” Zelena had joined her sister on the floor, her arm wrapped protectively around her trembling shoulders. “You have to. I may not understand your pain about Emma, but know how it feels not to be enough. A made my peace. Maybe you’ll never be as happy as you have been with Emma, but you will make your peace, too. Give it time, Regina.” 

The brunette’s sobs only grew louder as her entire body shook. All Zelena could do, was let her cry.

 

* * *

 

The scalding hot water was hitting her body as Emma stood under the shower spray. Furiously, she was scrubbing very single piece of flesh she could reach thoroughly, hoping she could get rid of the feeling of his lips in her skin. She had stopped crying by now, though her heart wouldn’t stop hurting. Even as she clamped her eyes shut, everything she could see was Killian’s face as he laid on top of her, pumping into her, hurting her. Even as she pressed her palms against her ears, everything she could hear was Killian’s moans, his groans, his ‘I know you like it’. It was in vain. The rubbing, the not seeing, the not hearing. He did it. It happened, and Emma never felt more disgusted in her entire live. By herself, by him, by fate.

Her body was on fire as she left the shower. Emma was sore and she was tired, and everything she wanted to do know was to fall asleep and never wake up. As she put on some pajamas her gaze fell on the mirror. She flinched at her own sight. Her cheekbones were standing out more than ever and for the first time, Emma didn’t like them. Just like the dark circled under her eyes.

“Look what you have become … a skinny piece of shit that gets raped on her wedding night.”

It was rape, wasn’t it? Even though she hadn’t fight him, even though she hadn’t said a single word during it … expect for the whimpers of hurt and disgust, which Killian had taken as moans. God. How could she have turn into such a pathetic piece of shit?

 

* * *

  
It wasn’t until the next day that she had some alone time. Killian had left for god knows where to (she didn’t care). Emma grabbed her phone and called Ruby. Her best friend picked up with the first ring.

“Em, honey, I just wanted to call you.” The worry in her voice was clear and Emma managed a weak smile.

“Hello to you, too,” the blonde responded.

“Emma, I … I don’t know what to say, don’t know what to do. I feel so –“

“Rubes, don’t, okay? The last thing I could use know is a guilty feeling best friend. You can’t do anything, Ruby. I can’t do anything. Nobody can. I have accepted it … or at least I’m on my way to.”

“Okay … okay,” she heard her best friend exhaling deeply. “But tell me, honestly, how are you feeling?”

Emma sighed, “Well, considering the facts that my mother is dying, my dick stepfather still hasn’t found a cure, I’m Killian’s wife, and I probably will never see the love of my life again … let’s say, I’ll live.” Maybe, Emma added in her mind.

Hours later she hung up just in the moment in which Killian stepped into the living room. He plumped on the couch and put his feet on the table.

“Who was that?” he asked.

Emma put on a fake smile, “My gay lover.” God, it was ridiculous how much she enjoyed his baffled look.

“Didn’t know you’re that funny,” Killian said, recovering quickly.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Emma muttered under her breath and went to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and slipped into her pajamas, before she grabbed a cup of tea from the kitchen. She was about to put the now empty cup in the sink, when she felt his arms encircling her waist.

“I want you,” Killian whispered, biting lightly on her ear.

Furiously, Emma threw the cup in the sink, turned around and pushed him away. “I don’t want to.”

“Yeah, you said that yesterday night, too.”

The blonde gritted her teeth. “Well,” she said, and grabbed a knife, “now I mean it.”

“What the hell? Put the knife away, love,” Killian demanded.

Emma just laughed and even for her own ears it sounded somewhat … crazy. “I can’t stand you. I can’t stand this house. I can’t, don’t you understand? I don’t want to sleep with you, Killian. Never again!”

“So you want to stab me?”

“I will, if I have to.” Emma clasped the knife with both hands, trying to control the trembling. She was stunned by herself that she was able to threaten him at all. But … she meant it. Though that didn’t stop the trembling of her lips and knees. The blood rushed through her ears.

“Why,” Killian wanted to know. “Is there a reason?”

“Oh, so the fact that I don’t want to, isn’t reason enough for you?” Emma exclaimed incredulously. “Next reason, I’m tired. Next one, I’m gay. And if that still isn’t enough … I don’t love you.”

“Why can’t you try? I love you, Emma, and I’m sure you will love me, too. You’re just fighting it.”

Shaking her head, Emma put the knife away. “You’re a lost case. I will never love, Killian. Never.” And with that she left for the guest room.

 

* * *

  
  
The following three weeks were difficult to bear. Killian had surprisingly laid off of Emma, just stopping each night at the door of the guest room, and telling her, that one day she will love him and this stupidity will stop. The blonde had visited her mother several times, and unfortunately, she was getting worse and worse. Mary Margaret was suffering of severe pain, even though she didn’t want to admit it, Emma knew. Emma always knew. Her mother refused to go to the hospital, saying something about she wanted to spend the rest of her days in her house.

Her brother Neal and Tamara decided to move back in the house for the time being. It was amazing how Tamara took care of her mother in law, even though she was pregnant herself. Emma loved her for that. She was so happy for her brother, he couldn’t have found a better partner.

The thing that surprised Emma the most though, was that Bae, her younger brother, had stopped to get on her nerves. He didn’t threw stupid comments at her anymore, and it even went so far that he avoided his sister’s gaze. Seemed like he finally started to grow up. Emma was sure that it wasn’t easy for him either to see his mother dying.

Just as she was about to leave, her stepfather came home. Robert was looking as good as ever, and that made Emma angry. How could he? How he could have a good time, how good he smile when his wife was dying. How could he act as if nothing was happening at all?

“You made a promise,” Emma said as Robert took a seat in the living room.

“I did not, dearie.”

“You said you were working on a cure!” Emma yelled. “Where is the cure? My mother is dying right in front of our eyes! Doesn’t that affect you at all? Not one bit? She is your wife, for God’s sake!”

“The cure doesn’t work, we tried it.” Robert had filled himself a glass of whiskey. He was sipping from it, eying Emma with an untouched look. It was disturbing how calm he was. As if he knew right from the beginning that the cure wouldn’t work. He probably did know it.

“You’re disgusting. There is no shred of humanity in you,” Emma spat out.

Robert giggled at that, “I never said there was, did I, dearie?”

“You do realize that I will leave Killian as soon as mom dies?” No matter how much it hurt to think about it, let alone to actually say it out loud, Emma knew that with the dead of her mother she would be free to leave Killian. Or so she thought.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Robert said, “I don’t think the Queen would appreciate that.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the Queen,” Emma stated, and with one last disgusted look, she left.

 

* * *

  
  
Just a few days later, the call came. The call she had been afraid to get. As soon as Emma saw Tamara’s number on her display, she knew that something had happened. There was the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and her body started trembling all over. Inhaling deeply, Emma answered the call.

“Emma?”

“Yeah?”

“I … your mum …” Tamara whispered.

“What about her?” Emma asked with a quivering voice, even though she knew. She knew.

“You have to come … she … she wants to see you. She doesn’t feel good, I think … I think she is –“

Tamara was sobbing, and Emma cut her off. “I’m on my way.”

She hung up, and stared for a few seconds at the phone. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest. The time has come, and Emma wished she had the power to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I figured you guys wouldn't enjoy reading about the wedding and the wedding night, so I skipped most of it. Also, die next chapter will be really really really painful, but I can't wait for you guys to read. Please let me know what you think! :)


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22

 

 

Not only was her heart racing as Emma run the few blocks to her old house, her mind too was going wild. Completely out of breath, she pounded loudly against the door as she reached it. Just seconds later Bae let her in. He was looking pale and his eyes were red-rimmed from tears. Instinctively, Emma opened her arms and hugged him.

“I am sorry, Emma,” Bae said softly, “I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay … everything is alright,” Emma answered gently and caressed his cheek. He had tyrannized her while she had been living her, but despite everything he was her brother. Bae was 15, for God’s sake, and he had to witness such a horrible thing; the death of their sick mother.

Sniffling, Emma went straight to her mother’s room. The first thing she noticed was Dr. Whale sitting on the edge of the bed, measuring her mother’s pulse. Mary Margaret’s eyes were closed, and for a moment Emma thought she was too late. Just a second later, however, her mother opened her eyes and their gazes met. It was so incredibly painful … so … one can’t really explain something like that. Emma gasped for air as her skin crawled with goosebumps. Tamara was shaking her arm, but Emma wasn’t aware of it. All she could see was her mother lying there in the bed. The blanket up to her hips. Her arms spread out on either side of her fragile body. Dark circled covered her eyes and the normal pale but healthy color was long gone.

Dr. Whale stood up, and said something to Emma’s stepfather who too was in the room, but Emma didn’t hear him. In a daze, she took small steps toward her mother. As Mary Margaret reached out for her daughter, Emma took the hand immediately, and sat on the edge of the bed. Her mother’s chest rose and fell evenly, the question was for how long. Every single breath seemed to cost her so much strength. Emma couldn’t hold her tears back. Sobbing, she kissed her mother’s hands.

“Leave us alone,” Mary Margaret addressed the others.

Emma didn’t take her eyes off of her mother while the others left the room. Looked like her mother had already said goodbye to them. The thought that she was about to do the same thing with her … every single muscle clenched painfully, and it felt as if someone had just ripped Emma’s heart out of her chest. 

“Emma, honey.”

“Mom, please, don’t leave me. Please,” Emma begged, crying.

Mary Margaret lifted her daughter’s chin and pulled her daughter’s face toward her. She then pressed a soft kiss on Emma’s forehead. Her lips lingered there for a while as her daughter’s tears dropped on her own face. “I know,” she whispered.

At that, Emma blinked through her tears and met her mother’s hazel eyes.

“I know, honey.”

“Mom, what do you mean? I –“

“He told me. Your father … Robert. He told me today.”

Emma froze. Her whole body just … it just stopped working. The bastard had told her. He had told her on her deathbed. All those months of hiding, all those months of suffering. Emma had done it for her mother, and now she knew anyway. Know she would die disgusted and disappointed by her own daughter. Why? Why couldn’t he just let her die in peace? How in God’s name could he do something like that? Her mother’s voice pulled Emma out of her trance.

“You should have told me, Emma.”

“I … but I … I just …” She couldn’t form the words. She simply didn’t know what to say.

“Honey … I believe in Jesus. I believe in God. I believe that he created Adam and Eve, and I believe that it is a sin too be in a relationship with the same sex. That’s the way I was raised by my own parents, the way I lived my entire live. But Emma, I also believe in love. And you’re my daughter, my flesh and blood, my sweet little girl. I would have come around … if only I had had more time … I would have accepted it, eventually. I know I would.”

Emma was crying so hard she was shaking. All this time she had been so afraid … for nothing. Damn stupid, that’s what she had been. “I … I don’t know what to say, mom,” Emma said, sniffling.

“What’s her name?”

“Regina.”

“A Queen for my princess,” Mary Margaret smiled, caressing her daughter’s cheek. “Tell me more.”

Emma pressed her face against her mother’s warm hand, and returned her smile. “She’s … she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. She is incredibly beautiful with her short brown hair and those piercing brown eyes. But she is so much more than that. She is lovely and kind, even though she has a horrible mother who had given her a hard childhood. She is so caring and romantic. I love the way she can make me laugh. I love her sass and her sarcasm, it’s refreshing. I love how she fights for herself, how she refuses to obey her mother. I love … I love how she tried to fight for us, and … I let her go.” Emma’s voice broke, and fresh tears were spilling from her eyes. God, no matter how freeing it felt to know that her mother would have accepted them … it hurt.

“Forgive me,” Mary Margaret whispered, breathing heavily. Emma pinched her eyes shut and clutched to her mother’s sweater. She felt that the end was coming.

“Mom,” Emma sobbed.

“Can you forgive me, Emma? I’m sorry I wasn’t a good mother to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you from Robert. I’m sorry I separated you from the love of your life, that I practically forced you into a loveless marriage, and I’m so, so sorry that I won’t be here to support you in whatever choices you’re deciding to take. Forgive me, honey.”

She spoke so softly, barely about a whisper, and Emma almost didn’t catch her words. To be honest, there were no more words needed as they looked into each other’s eyes. With trembling fingers, Emma took her mother’s hand once more and pressed a kiss on it.

“I forgive you,” Emma said, because she knew that her mother needed to hear it. “I forgive you.”

Mary Margaret smiled … she smiled at her daughter with filled eyes as tears were running down her temples. Goosebumps spread all over Emma’s body.

“Mummy’s little darling … you look so much like your dad,” her mother said softly. “I love you, honey.”

With the little energy Emma had left, she carefully laid down next to her mother and hugged her tightly. “I love you, mom.” Emma closed her eyes, put her head on her mother’s chest, and listened to the irregular beating of her heart. The blonde didn’t know how long exactly they were laying there, she had lost track of time. Their hands were intertwined, but suddenly the slight pressure Emma had felt so far, subsided. She sat up and shook her mother.

“Mom? Mom!” Emma whispered in panic.

Mary Margaret’s eyes were closed, a peaceful expression had soften her face. Emma’s lungs burned like fire, her throat suddenly felt so tight as if invisible hands were strangling her. Every fiber of her body screamed in pain, and she had the feeling that she was running out of oxygen.

“Mom, please!” Emma cried out. Powerless, she shook her mother’s lifeless body, and just seconds later the door was flung open. The others came in. They stood there, Emma could hear them crying, too. Neal, Tamara, Bae. “Mom,” Emma sobbed, and took her mother’s face in her hands. She kissed her. Her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead. Over and over, Emma dropped kisses on her mother’s face.

“Emma, that’s enough,” the blonde heard someone say, and felt a hands encircling her upper arm. Emma raised her head and met her stepfather’s gaze. He seemed unfazed. Pure hate rose in Emma.

“Don’t touch me!” she hissed through gritted teeth, tears still running down her face.

Robert let go of her and took a step back. He stared blankly at her. At least now he should leave her alone. Emma didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe that her mother would never open her eyes again, that she would never smile at her daughter, never take her in her arms again. Emma’s mind didn’t want to admit it. She felt dizzy. Tiredly, she put her head down on her mother’s chest. It was as if a part of Emma had gone. A part that now left a big hole in her heart. For several minutes Emma sat there and sobbed. Her mother’s sweater was soaked from the tears. When she felt a hand on her back, Emma lifted her head sniffling.

“Emma, please stop,” Tamara said softly. Neal took Emma’s hand. He gently stroked the back of her hand and dropped a kiss on his sister’s head.

“Two more minutes, please,” Emma begged, “just two more minutes.” Neal wiped her tears away and nodded. Trembling all over, Emma took her mother’s face one more time in her hands, and dropped a long kiss on her forehead. One last time, she breathed in her mother’s scent, before everything went black.

 

When Emma opened her eyes, for a moment she didn’t know where she was. Blinking, she sat up and looked around. She was lying in her old room. Alone. She couldn’t think clearly, and grabbed her throbbing head. The door was ajar, and now Emma could hear the faint crying from downstairs that reminded her of what had happened. Her mother was dead. Quickly, Emma got up. She swayed and had to hold herself up against the wall, because everything in front of her was spinning.

She must have been lying for quite some time here as it was already dark outside. Tears welled up again and ran down her cheeks. Every single bone in Emma’s body hurt, she felt like she’d been run over by a truck. Slowly, she left the room and padded down the stairs. The living room was full. Family, friends, neighbors. Emma’s heart stopped a beat – she didn’t want to go in there.

“Emma?”

Startled, the blonde spun around and saw Bae standing in the hallway.

“Bae.” He seemed so helpless … so alone … so vulnerable. Just like Emma. She reached out her hand, and her little brother grabbed it without hesitation. Taking him into her arms, Emma hugged him tightly and spoke softly. “We have to be strong. Mom would have wanted it that way. Okay?” Her lips were trembling, and her voice was barely audible. Emma lifted Bae’s chin and wiped his tears away.

“I’m sorry, Em,” he sobbed quietly.

“I’m not mad at you, Bae.” And she wasn’t, not really. He was just a kid, and the thing that mattered was that he seemed to admit his mistakes. The front door opened. Her stepfather and Neal stepped in, and Emma immediately lowered her gaze. She couldn’t stand the sight of this man. He walked past them without a word, whereas Neal gave his sister a side hug and dropped a kiss on her temple.

“Tomorrow’s the funeral,” he said. “Get some rest, okay?” Once more, Emma’s knees started to shake, and the tears flowed again. Her eyes were burning and swollen, and she wished that a certain person could be by her side to take the pain away.

 

The next day went by in a haze. It felt … surreal. Everything felt surreal. As if Emma found herself in a movie, as if any minute she would wake up from the nightmare. The funeral was packed. It seemed as though every single person in Storybrooke showed up. It wasn’t a surprise, her mother had been very popular and loveable, and people wanted to say goodbye. Emma’s eyes wandered through the mass, searching for Regina, but she wasn’t here. Emma was alone.

Somehow, the blonde had no tears left. She felt empty yet so full of pain. When the funeral was over, and her mother was buried, they went back to the house. It was packed, too. There were so many people, looking at her with pity, and Emma couldn’t handle that.  Her knees trembled as she made her way out of the living room. Ruby had been waiting for her in the hallway.

“Em,” her best friend started, “when’s the last time you ate something?” Emma rubbed her forehead and shrugged. She had spent the whole night crying, there wasn’t really time to think about food. “Em, please, are you trying to pass out?” Ruby said worryingly.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not! Emma, look at you. I don’t recognize you. You lost more than 20 pounds in the past months. I’m worried about you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but –“

“Exactly, Ruby!” Emma cut her off. “You can’t. You can’t imagine what I am going through, you can’t imagine how I’m feeling, and you can’t understand it. Not even close!”

“Oh, Em.” The brunette took her sobbing best friend in her arms and hugged her tightly. And that was exactly what Emma needed now. A shoulder to cry on. Ruby took her hand and pulled her up to her room. Once there, she helped Emma to sit down on the bed and left the room. Just minutes later Ruby came back with a tray in her hand. Exhausted, Emma shook her head. “Just a bit, Em, please!” Ruby pleaded. “I don’t want you to pass out.” The brunette looked at her sadly and put the tray on Emma’s lap. Taking in a deep breath, Emma forced herself to eat a few bites.

When hasn’t managed to eat more than a few bites, but Ruby seemed pleased with her. Smiling weakly, her friend took the tray and put it aside. She was about to thank Ruby, when suddenly her phone went off – a new message had arrived. The blonde gasped out as she read the message.

“What’s wrong?” Ruby asked.

“Regina …”

“What about her?”

Emma looked up, catching her friend’s eyes. “She wants to see me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 

Emma had no trouble to sneak out of the house. It was so packed that no one would notice her absence. And if someone would asked for her, Ruby was going to tell them that she wasn’t feeling well and lie down upstairs to get some rest. It was risky, Emma knew it, but she was willing to take that risk. With every step she made it deeper into the woods and with every step her fear of what was about to come grew. What would happen? Was there still hope for them? Despite everything that happened so far? Would Regina take her back? It wasn’t easy, Emma knew. Of course it wasn’t, but she wanted it so much. She wanted nothing more than to be with Regina.

As soon as the bench came into sight, Emma saw her. Her heart leaped into her throat as her feet barely carried her to the bench. Her teeth clattered, and she pulled her jacket tightly around her body. When Regina finally looked up and their gazes met, Emma froze. Slowly, the brunette approached her, and Emma was so overwhelmed she stumbled a step backwards. Her body played tricks on her. Breathing heavily, she supported herself on a tree as the floor under her feet swayed. Everything was spinning.

Regina felt equally overwhelmed. It had been almost four weeks since she had seen Emma, and until yesterday she thought it would be the last time. And know she was standing right in front of her, in arms reach, and Regina’s heart threatened to jump out of her chest. They looked into each other‘s eyes for what felt like an eternity.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Regina whispered and finally broke the silence.  Her gut clenched painfully as Emma started crying. The blonde pressed her hand against her mouth to stifle the sobs. Regina held out her hand. A silence invitation that Emma gladly accepted. Regina let her hands wander over Emma’s back as the blonde buried her face in her neck. They breathed in each other’s scent. The scent they had missed so much and thought would never smell again. Emma’s hands ran up Regina’s shoulders, to her neck and then buried themselves in short brown hair. “God, Emma, I missed you so much.”

Good God, how much Emma had missed her name from Regina’s mouth. How much she had missed the brunette. Her voice, her scent, her safe arms. They stood there. For minutes. In silence. Their physical contact was enough. There was only Regina and Emma. As the latter wiped her tears away, her gaze fell on her wedding ring. Instantly, Emma broke away from the embrace. Panting hard she stared at the ring … wasn’t it too late?

“It’s not too late, Emma,” Regina said, as if she had just read her mind. “It’s never too late to be happy.”

“But I … I slept with him … oh god, I slept with him.”

Carefully, Regina took a step toward the shaking blonde. Emma stood there, frozen in the spot, unable to say anything else. As Regina raised a hand and touched Emma’s face, the blonde took inhaled sharply. The fingers gently caressed her cheek, and she felt every single hair on her body stand up.

“I don’t care, dear”, Regina assured her. The words caused her heart to jump, the blood rushed through her veins. Regina’s eyes wandered to her mouth, and Emma instinctively ran her tongue over her lips. As the brunette leaned in, Emma closed her eyes and held her breath. She could feel the warm breath of Regina on her lips, and her heart pounded so hard it swallowed everything else around her. “It’s not too late,” Regina said again, grabbing Emma’s face and pulling her even closer.

Finally, their lips met, and God, it felt so right. They remembered their smell, the taste of their kisses, the feeling of their hands on their skin. They snuggled closer, the kiss grew deeper. As if they had been starving. It was a kiss, unlike any other kisses they shared before. It was sweet and bitter at the same time, and mingled with the saltiness of their tears which were rolling down their cheeks. The kiss was soft but passionate, it was … magical … it was true love.

“I love you more than anything, Emma,” Regina gasped as they broke for air. She leaned her forehead against Emma’s. Panting hard, they stood there, both shaking like crazy from the sheer amount of feels. “Let’s run away. Just you and me.” Emma nodded in agreement without hesitation. She wrapped her arms around Regina’s neck and hugged her tightly.

How could they have known that fate once again would work against them?

They decided to wait a few days since with the death of Emma’s mother everything was still very fresh. Then there was Killian, Robert and the Queen. They had to plan their escape. The enchanted forest wasn’t an option. The Queen would find them in the blink of an eye. So, with the help of her sister Zelena, Regina would look for a poison that would allow them to leave Storybrooke. 

 

* * *

  


Three days later, Emma made her way to her old home. She wanted to check in on Bae, to say goodbye without actually saying it. It made her sad. Leaving her brother in the hands of this monster she called stepfather. The blonde entered the house. As she passed by the living room, she stopped briefly. Robert was sitting on the couch, an open Whiskey bottle and a glass were standing on the table. When he lifted his head and their gazes met, Emma glared at him.  Got, she hated him so much, it was all-consuming. Shaking her head as if to get rid of her thoughts, her feet led her to her mother’s bedroom.

Her mother’s lavender scent hovered in the whole house, as if any moment she would come through the front door. But here, in her bedroom, it was even more intense, even more real. With trembling fingers she opened the closet and grabbed one of her mom’s sweater. Sobbing, she smelled on it, put her cheek on it, as though it was the gently caress of her mother. Suddenly, her stepfather stood in the room.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed. Emma got up, put the sweater back in the closet and wiped her tears away. “You can leave it out of the closet, dearie. In an hour someone will come and pick up the stuff anyway.” Shocked, Emma turned around and stared at him. Had she just heard right?

“What are you talking about?” she hissed, outraged.

“There’s no need for her stuff anymore. Or do you thing she will get up from her grave?”

These words were like a punch in Emma’s gut that took away her breath. Trembling, she stood there and looked at this man. He chuckled, he actually chuckled and Emma was stunned. How could he be so cold? She struggled for composure as, just like that, without another word, he left the room. Determined, Emma followed him. 

“What kind of a person are you?” Emma yelled as she reached the living room.

“Be quiet!” Robert ordered. “Go back to your husband, he’s waiting for you.”

“Husband?” Emma started laughing hysterically. She laughed so hard and loud until tears were running down her cheek. She was having a mental breakdown.  “What husband?” the blonde chuckled. “What husband?" she said again, this time louder. “I have no husband! I’ll get a divorce!” Emma saw how he balled his hands into fists and came up to her. “Don’t you dare touch me!” she cried out. Taking a few steps back, the blonde leaned her back against the wall. Her knees felt like jelly. “I’ve had enough. Don’t touch me … ever again!”

Robert looked at her as though she had grown a second head.

“You took all the life out of me! It’s enough!” Emma’s throat burned from all the shouting. Her voice quivered. Her breathing was shallow, and everything inside her hurt. This man was to blame. “You destroyed my life!” Emma spat out. “You took everything from me. My mother, my love, my future! Everything! I hate you. With all my soul, with my entire being, I loath you!” Suddenly, Emma felt a short but sharp pain in her abdomen and gasped out. Breathing heavily, she glared one last time at her stepfather and left the house.

 

* * *

 

Emma had been driving through Storybrooke for a while now. She didn’t want to see Killian right now. When her phone beeped indicating that a new message had arrived, she pulled over.

‘We did it, Emma! Zelena and I fixed the right poison. Already tried it out, it works. Whenever you’re ready, babe. Let me know. I love you.’

Tonight. Tonight was the night, Emma decided. She couldn’t and didn’t want to wait anymore. She called Regina who picked up with the first ringing.

“Hey,” the blonde whispered.

“Are you alright? Are you really ready for this, Emma?” Regina asked, excited.

“Yes! I don’t want to wait anymore. I can’t wait anymore!”

“Okay, babe. Just remember to stay calm, okay? We will do this.”

Regina’s voice was so tender. Like medicine that soothed Emma’s pain. They had to do this, it was time. A smile crept on the blonde’s face. “I love you, Regina.”

“I love you, Emma.”

Emma sighed deeply as she put her phone back in her purse and drove … to Killian’s house. It was his house, not hers. It never felt like home for Emma, and she was so relieved that tonight would be the last time she had to enter that house.

 

As Emma stepped out of the car just minutes later, a pain shot through her abdomen – again. She pressed her thighs together and grabbed her belly. Her whole body tensed. A few seconds later, the pain was gone. Goddamn! She couldn’t get sick tonight of all nights. That couldn’t happen. Taking a few deep breaths, she made her way up to the house. As soon as she stepped through the front door, Killian came up to her.

“Where have you been?” he asked. Emma ignored him and walk passed him straight to the kitchen. Filling herself a glass of water, she sat down on a chair. Killian had followed her. “Where have you been, goddamn it! I was worried!”

“Don’t be.”

Gritting his teeth, Killian said, “Well, I was. I forbid you to leave the house without telling me.”

At that, Emma laughed. “Soon, you won’t be able to forbid me anything,” she muttered.

“What was that?!” Killian looked at her intently. Silence followed. The tension that hung in the air was palpable. The ticking of the kitchen clock felt like pounding against Emma’s skull. Added to this, Killian started to tap his finger on the table. Tap, tap, tap. Faster and faster. It drove Emma mad. “Say something!” Killians suddenly yelled, hitting the table with the flat of his hand, causing Emma to flinch.

“I’ve nothing left to say,” Emma answered, and got up. As she was about to leave the kitchen, she suddenly felt dizzy and swayed. Within two breaths, the sharp pain in her belly was back. She doubled over, before everything went black.  

 

The next time Emma opened her eyes, she found herself in a bed. Blinking, she took in her surroundings. White walls, white curtains, white bed sheets. And the smell … it smelled like hospital. She was in a hospital. As Emma sat up on the bed she felt a small pain in her hand and looked at it – an IV tube was attached. What the hell had happened? Her confusion only grew as Killian and Dr. Whale entered the room. Was there no other Doctor in this godforsaken town?

“Emma, love, how are you feeling?” Killian asked, worryingly. He grabbed the blonde’s hand and dropped a kiss on it. With Dr. Whale and a nurse’s presence, everything Emma could do was smiling awkwardly … more like grimacing, really. Without waiting for an answer, Killian turned his attention to Dr. Whale. “What is wrong with my wife, Doctor?”

“Well, Mr. Jones, I don’t believe there is something wrong with your wife,” The blonde Doctor, Viktor Whale, said as he scribbled something on a chart. He then finally looked up and met Emma’s gaze. “Congratulations, Mrs. Jones, you’re pregnant.”

Emma’s heart stopped beating. Her jaw dropped. She hadn’t heard the Doctor properly, right? She couldn’t have heard him properly. She certainly had misunderstood him … right? Killian’s loud cheer made her flinch, and she thought she might get sick any moment.

“I am going to be a dad? I am going to be a dad!” Taking Emma’s face into his hands he kissed her, and Emma was so shocked, she couldn’t move.

“But … that must be a mistake,” she whispered. “I can’t be pregnant.”

“I assure you, Mrs. Jones, we have run any test twice. You are pregnant.”

“I can’t be pregnant!” Emma repeated, louder this time. “I can’t be pregnant. I can’t!” she yelled hysterically, and ripped the IV tube from her hand. “I have to get out of here. I have to go …” She was breathing heavily as she tried to get up. “Let me go!” she screamed, and was sure the entire hospital heard her. “I need to go! I can’t be pregnant, not now! I can’t!” Someone held her down, then she felt a slight pang on her arm. “Let go of me …” Emma tried again, but second by second she felt the strength leaving her body. Sedative. They sedated her. “You don’t understand … you don’t …” she said quietly. Regina was the last thing in her mind before, once again, everything went black.

 

* * *

 

Regina was excited. It had taken her only four days to find the poison that would allow them to leave Storybrooke. Zelena had been a great help, without her sister it would have taken way longer. Regina had tried it already. She had taken a sip of the green poison and stepped over the town line. It worked. The only “side-effect” if one could call it that, was that Regina’s magic didn’t work. The relieve she had felt was indescribable. Finally they would be free. Finally Emma and her could leave this damned town and live their lives. Without the Queen, Robert or Killian. The brunette had talked to her love earlier. They had decided to meet here, on the bench. Regina had already packed her things, her beloved horse, Rocinante, would have to stay with her sister Zelena for the time being.

Hours passed and Regina began to feel nervous. She looked around, waiting for Emma to show up, but she didn’t come. There was no sight of her. It had started raining a while ago, but Regina, even though she was soaked to the bone, didn’t move from her place. Not yet. Sighing deeply, she raised her head. As the sky began to fall into dark blue and the raindrops fell heavily down on her, she felt that something had happened.

As if on cue, her phone rang. Killian’s name appeared in her display and she scrunched her face up in disgust. Reluctantly, Regina answered the call. “Killian.”

“Regina, Regina, Regina!” he yelled excited, and the brunette rolled her eyes.

“What?” she snapped.

“I am going to be a father! Emma is pregnant!”

It was as if someone had just hit her straight in her guts. She should have known. Regina should have known that, once again, something would thwart their plan. It felt as though fate was toying with them, throwing them in their faces that they can’t be together.

The worst of all this was, that Emma hadn’t had the guts to tell her herself. It was Killian who called, it was Killian who shared the good news with her. The good news? The bad news! No matter how much Regina tried to put the feeling aside – the rage filled her entire being. She was shaking with fury, with disappointment, with … hurt.

“I failed her so many times, Regina,” Killian’s voice put her out of her thoughts. “But I’ll do better. I will make her forget everything, I will make her so happy. We will be so happy. Emma, the baby and I.”

Could it be any worse? Hearing him say all this stuff? How much pain could one endure?

“That’s …” Regina cleared her throat. “That’s wonderful, Killian. Congratulations … to both of you.” She thought about putting her hands around Killian’s neck, about strangling the life out of him. She thought about ripping Robert’s heart out of his chest and grumbling it to dust, seeing how life left his eyes. God, she even thought about murdering her own mother. And then Regina realized with horror; if she could to all those things without consequences … she would.  

_God, what has become of me?_

“Tell her … Tell Emma, I wish her all the happiness of the world,” Regina whispered. She disconnected the call, and let out a scream that echoed through the entire forest. Panting hard, the brunette looked up as the rain fall down on her face and mingled with her tears. It was as if the sky was crying with her. There was no place for her. There would never be, she realized. Decision made, she got up and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, everything seems pretty hopeless and dark for our girls, but I promise you guys, the table's will turn soon!
> 
> Leave me some love, please! Reviews always gives me motivation :)


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Guys, I'm so so sorry for the long delay! I had a super busy summer, and then ... then I got sick -.- Better said, I'm still sick. I've got a pretty bad cold and mild pneumonia. The cough is killing me, but I'm starting to get better ... hopefully. To make it up for the long wait I got a long chapter for you guys, and the next one will follow next week!

Chapter 24

Regina. Regina. Regina.

The name of the love of her live was the only thing that was in Emma's mind as soon as she woke up. Slowly she remembered everything that happened in the past hours. The fight with her stepfather, the fight with Killian … and the baby. There was a baby in her. She was pregnant.

„What time is it?" the blonde whispered, wetting her dry lips.

"You're awake!" Killian said.

As he reached for her hand Emma withdrew it and glared at him. "What time is it?"

"Four am."

Emma's eyes grew wide. Four am. It was four am! Regina … she had to call Regina, she had to tell her to wait! "I need my phone!" Emma demanded with a stifled voice.

"It's at home. When you passed out I panicked, and drove you to the hospital right away."

"Give me your phone," Emma said instead.

"It run out of battery a few minutes ago."

Emma began to cry and buried her face in her hands. How could fate be so cruel with her? With them? Why was this damn world so unfair? They didn't deserve this. They didn't.

"Why are you crying?" Killian asked helplessly. "Emma, love –"

"Don't call me love!" Emma cried out. "I'm not your love and I'll never be! I'll file for divorce, Killian. Tomorrow first thing, I'll find a lawyer. As soon as it's done, you will never see me again!"

Killian grabbed her wrists and squeezed hard. His eyes were narrowed into slits, his mouth a tight line. "Do you really think I'll let you go? You want to separate a child from his father?" he hissed.

Separating a child from his father? His grip grew stronger with every passing second, but Emma managed to say the following words surprisingly calm. "What child, Killian? There will be no child."

"What do you mean?" he glared at her.

By now, Killian's grip was so strong that Emma had to hold back a painful groan. "You're hurting me."

"That?" Killian sneered and held up her wrists. "That's nothing, Emma! You better watch out what you say or do … otherwise you'll learn what real pain is. Am I clear?" he threatened her. He let go of her wrists and instead grabbed her face with one hand. There he was … showing his true face once again.

"Let go of me," Emma hissed through gritted teeth. She had no chance to inform Regina of the events nor could she call Ruby to come to her help. Everything was getting so complicated ... even more so with the pregnancy. Killian finally let go of her, took a few steps back and ran his hands through his hair.

"A divorce is not an option, forget it," he said rather loudly. Emma ignored him and massaged her aching wrists. "And what is that bullshit about an abortion? Did you lost your mind? Could you really kill your child? Your flesh and blood! In you grows a life, Emma … a child! Our baby!"

The blonde covered her ears and pinched her eyes close. She didn't want to hear him, didn't want to see him. He just wanted to make her feel bad so she would change her mind, but that wouldn't happen. She would end this pregnancy, she would get rid of everything that tied her to Killian. Emma didn't want this child. It was her decision, her right. And then … then finally she could run away with Regina.

"Go away," Emma said quietly. "Leave me alone."

"Yeah, you and the baby need some rest. I'll come by in a few hours."

He turned around and left. Emma lay there, her gaze wandering to the window. It was pitch dark outside, and it was raining heavily. It was as if God cried for her … for them. For Regina and Emma. She had to speak to Regina as soon as possible. She would explain everything, and then … then she would make an appointment for abortion.

Emma hadn't gotten any sleep. Restlessly, she had toss and turn around in the bed, not being able to calm down her racing brain. Sometime around 7 am Killian came back. Wordlessly, he sat down on the chair and looked at her for a long time. Emma wished she could strangle him … with bare hands. Then he would finally be gone from her life. She shook her head to get rid of the ridiculous thought. What has gotten into her?

"I told your father and your brothers. They should be here in a bit," Killian said eventually.

"There was no need, I'm out of here in a few hours anyway."

"We'll see what the doctor says."

Emma turned my back to him, and the blanket under my chin. She had to call Regina somehow. She would take Tamara's phone and write her a message.

"Oh, before I forgot," Killian started. "I spoke to Regina."

Emma held her breath, fisted the blanked with both hands, and closed her eyes. Her heart stopped beating, and her mind was running crazy. She didn't dare to ask him why he had spoken to Regina, but it wasn't necessary for Killian continued right away.

"I called her earlier. She is the first one to know about our baby."

His words … they were like a slap in the face. Emma's fingernails dug into her palms, she felt dizzy. This couldn't be true … it shouldn't be true! How had it come so far?

"She is so happy for us, and wishes us all the best," Killian continued.

Emma thought she might get sick. What an ironic twist of fate. Just yesterday Emma thought that she would run away with Regina that everything would be all right. And now? Now her life crumbled right in front of her eyes. And she was literally powerless lying in this hospital bed. The blonde gritted her teeth and tried to hold back the tears with all her might, but it just wasn't possible. She cried softly, and at the same time tried to keep her composure. God, Emma wished to could just throw it into Killian's face that she loved Regina. But the consequences of this confession would be fatal. Killian was a sick psychopath. She knew he would hurt Regina without batting an eyelash. That was the only thing that kept her from telling him the true. She couldn't risk Regina's life.

"Are you crying again?" Killian asked, slightly irritated, and Emma felt his hand on her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped. "Go away, leave me alone!" Sobbing, Emma buried her face under the blanket. Would it ever end? All that pain, all this grief? Would she find a way out of this dark, deep hole she'd fallen into? The events of the past few months had exhaust her … she couldn't handle anymore.

Around noon Emma got discharged. Tamara accompanied her back to the house. Her sister in law didn't want to let her alone. Emma was exhausted. Both mentally and physically. As soon as she stepped into house Emma grabbed her handbag and disappeared into her bedroom with Tamara. Killian had made himself comfortable in front of the couch. Fumbling through her bag for the phone, Emma cursed under her breath when she saw that it was dead. Of course. Sighing, she looked for the charger, and plugged the phone in with shaky fingers. Tamara just watched her in silence, she seemed totally confused by Emma's behavior. The dark skinned pregnant woman rested her hand on her very pregnant belly.

"Emma, please lie down, you need rest, and the baby –"

"No, Tamara!" the blonde interrupted her. "I'm going to say it one last time; I don't want this child!" Shaken, Emma grabbed her head and closed her eyes. God, the headache was killing her.

"But, Emma, Killian is not going to allow that. You guys are married for what? A few months? He doesn't agree to a divorce, and he certainly won't agree to an abortion," Tamara said in a quiet voice.

Emma scoffed and shook her head. "I don't care about that … because he won't know about it," she said. Emma ignored Tamara's gasp in shock, and turned her phone on. Her attention lay completely on her cell phone, which vibrated several times. 26 missed calls. All of them from Regina. "Goddamn it!" Emma cursed, and nearly started crying again. But now wasn't the right time. She got things to do. Without hesitation she dialed Regina's number. A lump formed in her throat as she waited. What should she say? Emma didn't have much time to think about that because Regina didn't pick up the phone.

She tried again. And again. And again … nothing. What the hell? Why didn't she pick up? Did she want her to suffer even more by ignoring her? Was that some kind of pay back? Regina's revenge for letting her wait yesterday? Or … did Regina gave up after hearing that Emma was pregnant? No. No, no, no! The blonde threw her phone on the bed and remained rooted to the spot.

"Emma, what is happening?"

Tamara's voice pulled her out of her trance. Emma had told her that she loved someone else but she didn't mention a name. It had been too early for that, and now … now it probably was too late. The blonde laughed out loud and grabbed her head again. She suddenly had to think about her mother, and Emma's eyes immediately filled with tears. She was kind of glad that her mother didn't have to witness how her only daughter's life was being destroyed once again. Emma clenched her hands to fists, and didn't even notice how much her body was shaking. One last time she dialed Regina's number. The shock and the disappointment ran deep as the call was sent straight to the mailbox.

So that was it. The End. It was that easy. There you can see what a single night can change. What a pregnancy can change. A child. What Emma once saw as God's gift now seemed like a curse. Unconsciously, she put a hand on her still flat stomach. She didn't want that child. Everything had been in vain. The whole suffering she had taken upon herself.

Her heart refused to accept this loss. Her mind too didn't want to accept this defeat. Emma had fought. Maybe she had started too late, but she had fought so hard … and lost.

Three days had passed. Three days that felt like hell. Killian once again had made it clear that he didn't agree on a divorce nor an abortion. Emma didn't say anything … he would see. Even though she knew it was pointless, Emma tried to call Regina again, and again. By the third day, even the smallest spark of hope in Emma was extinguished. It was over. She felt it. This time it was really over.

Emma was sitting in the kitchen, thinking of a way to get rid of this child without knowing Killian, when said person stormed into the kitchen. He looked furious. "Did you hear?" he asked pissed. Annoyed, Emma frowned and looked at him questioningly. "Regina disappeared!"

Emma had expected everything – just not that. She cleared her throat, and swallowed to get rid of the sandy feeling in her mouth. "What … what do you mean she disappeared?" the blonde asked carefully.

"Gone, she's gone. She left town with a poison!"

It felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over Emma's head, making her heart stop beating. Her insides clenched and she got no air. Killian continued to speak, but Emma's senses were frozen. She heard nothing. She saw nothing. She couldn't feel … no, she felt something. She felt the inner pain, which spread like fire, reaching every single fiber of her body.

So, Regina had really left. Without her. The reality of that hit her full force. Running away sometimes seemed like the only solution. But without her? Disappointment and rage added to the pain she was feeling. "I don't feel well. I'm going to lie down," she said quietly.

"Okay, sure you do that," Killian said softly. "I'm going to meet with Queen Cora … she's so mad."

Emma didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore.

Just two days later, Emma made a decision. She couldn't life like this anymore, she was going to take her life into her hands. She reached for her phone and finally made appointment. As soon as she was free of this child, she would file for divorce. Emma refused to spend her life with this man. She wasn't able to life with even, it didn't matter that Regina had left.

Lost in thoughts, Emma lie on her couch when the ringing of her phone brought her back to reality. It was Neal. "Hey," she said, and immediately sat up when she heard her brother crying.

"Emma, Emma …" Neal cried.

Emma held her breath. "Emma, you have to … you have to come to the hospital. Tamara … the baby …" Shocked, the phone slipped out of Emma's hand.

Somehow, she had managed to call a cab. As if in trance, Emma stared out of the car window as Neal's words echoed through her head. "Tamara had a premature birth, I'm so scared, Em … the baby." Now she was sitting here, praying that the two of them were okay. Tamara and the baby. They had to be okay. Just a few minutes later they reached the hospital.

Emma's heart was beating fast, and her lips quivered as she stood in the elevator. When she finally reached the right floor, she saw Neal standing in the hallway. Emma's brother was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, and his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Neal," Emma said softly as she approached him slowly.

"Emma!" He ran up to her, engulfing her in a strong hug.

"Is the baby –"

"Yeah. The doctor said our little princess is doing well. They put her in a box, and there are so many cables and wires and I –"

"Hey, it's okay," Emma broke his rant. "Don't you worry, Neal. The incubator is doing her well, she's still small. She just needs a little time in there. Everything will be alright." As Neal breathed out in relieve, Emma hugged her brother again tightly.

"But Tamara …" Neal suddenly said.

Slowly, Emma pulled away from him. "What about her?"

"She is lying in her room. She's still very weak, but the thing is … she won't stop crying, Em. She doesn't believe me that the baby's well." The desperation in his voice was hard to miss.

Emma took in a deep breath as she knocked softly on Tamara's hospital door. Without waiting for an answer, she entered quietly. Her eyes immediately fell on Tamara's crying form on the bed. Her brother wife was sobbing softly to herself. "Tamara?" Emma whispered. The dark skinned woman looked to the side, and began crying even harder. "Shh, don't," Emma pleaded and took her hand.

"I want my baby, Em. I want to see my baby. She's so small, she needs me!"

The words hit Emma straight to her heart. She couldn't imagine what a feeling it must be. "She's fine, Tamara! She will make it, she's a strong little soldier, don't you know?"

"Mary."

Emma blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Mary. Her name is Mary." Tamara smiled softly, and this time Emma couldn't help the tears. They named her after her mother. Mary. Emma's heart ached. She was sad and happy at the same time.

"I'll die for her, Em," Tamara whispered softly.

"I know … I know." The blonde wiped her tears away, and squeezed Tamara's hand. "You need rest, okay? I promise, I'll look after Mary. You don't need to worry, everything is going to be alright." Tamara was still so weak and exhausted from the birth. She yawned, and just seconds later she was asleep.

Along with Neal, Emma entered the room where the little one was lying. There were so many tubes and ticking noises, no wonder Neal freaked out. Emma's eyes were fixed on the incubator. Her heart clenched painfully as she approached it. The baby was lying on her belly, breathing weakly. So small, so innocent. Silent tears were running down Emma's face as she put her hand through the small opening and touched Mary's little hand. The soft, light brown skin tone, the few hairs on her head. Ten fingers, ten toes – she was perfect. Something in Emma hurt so much, she didn't know what.

The next week flew by. Mary was doing well, she had left the incubator, though they still had to stay in the hospital. Friday was coming, and that meant that Emma's appointment was due. She had managed to get away from Killian, and now she was sitting in the waiting room. Restlessly so. Her mind was racing along with her heart. Emma's palms were sweaty, and she felt sick.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Jones, you're pregnant."

The sentence that had destroyed her once and for all. It was playing in her head, like a broken cassette. Emma put a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes. It was innocent. She knew it. Her heart was bleeding, and her mind had stopped working. Emma felt empty and powerless … and yet, she had to do it. It was the only solution to get away from Killian. The blonde opened her eyes as a nurse entered the waiting room. "Mrs. Jones?"

Frozen, Emma sat there and couldn't move.

"Mrs. Jones?" the nurse asked again.

One last time, she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in. "I'm here," Emma said quietly, but before she could get up she heard shouting from the hallway. An all too familiar voice filled her ears.

"Where is my wife?" Killian roared. A moment later he stood in the waiting room. His widened as he saw Emma. The blonde's heart stopped, her body started trembling. "What the hell, Emma? What are you doing here?" Killian yelled and came up to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room, ignoring several pairs of eyes that were pointing on them. He begged for forgiveness and glared at her. He swore her love and cursed her.

It was indescribable what was going on in Emma. She probably wouldn't have done it anyway … killing her child … call it as you want. For Emma it was fate. It was her fate to get this child, to become a mother. Her mother would have said it is God's will.

"When I saw the doctors card in the bedroom, I freaked out, Emma!" Killian yelled as they reached the car. "Did you really want to kill or child? What has gotten into you, Emma? I can't believe it!" Emma closed her eyes, and leaned her head against the window. She was stunned. Killian took her hand and breathed a kiss on it. "I'm so sorry, love, okay? I'll be good, I swear to God, I'll be a good husband. From now on everything will be fine. We will be a happy little family."

From now on everything would be fine … only for whom? The rest of the trip home – because, yes, it was the only home she had now – neither of them said anything, and Emma was grateful for the silence that seemed to fill her.

Three months later …

"Killian, you don't have to repeat yourself a thousand times. I always drive carefully!" Annoyed, Emma rolled her eyes, and held out her hand. "Now, hand me the keys!" she demanded.

He pouted and took a step toward her. "Fine. But if you don't let me drive you to Ruby, can I at least have a kiss?" He batted his eyelashes, and looked at her expectedly.

In these three months since the incident at the clinic, Emma had discovered a new side on him. Over and over again he managed to make her laugh, even though she didn't want to. Not once he had tried to get intimate with her, saying he would wait until she was ready. He even was so mindful about the pregnancy. He was trying, he really was. Even a blind person could see his efforts. And yet, Emma felt miserable, because no matter how much Killian tried to gain her love … she couldn't love him. She tried to persuade herself that the love would come with time, but deep down she knew that wasn't the case. Her heart belonged to someone else. Her heart belonged to Regina.

Every time Emma closed her eyes, she saw Regina. Even though it seemed like the brunette had been swallowed up by the earth … Emma could feel her closeness, every second, every minute … always. She had given up the thought to move on, because she knew it was impossible. Regina belonged to her. Emma needed her … the memory of her, like she needed air.

"Please, please, just one?" Killian begged.

Emma sighed, and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply, smiling like a goof. "That's enough, that's all I need," he grinned, handing Emma the car keys. His sweet behavior made it hard for Emma to keep up with the hate she felt for him.

A part of Emma still was planning to leave. But the other part, the stronger part of her knew that she had nowhere to go. She had no job, no money, and no home to go back to. Asking Neal and Tamara for help seemed stupid. The two of them had a tiny apartment, and with Mary, the little scream queen, it was already packed in there. Ruby and Graham too were expecting a child. And soon, very soon Emma would get her baby too. No matter how much it hurt, she had to admit that they were depended on Killian. Her and the baby boy. It was a boy, she felt it. So, Emma really had no other choice than to stay here, with Killian. She decided that she had to give life with him a second chance …

Five Years later.

Emma stood outside the door, her hand on the knob. Carefully, she pushed the knob down, and quietly walked into the room. She tiptoed to the bed. Then she remained standing there for a while. All she could hear was her heart that beat evenly in her chest. And breathing … not just hers, no. The breathing of the person who was lying in the bed, and gave meaning to her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know ... the time jump sure does come as a surprise. And I know that it doesn't really look good for our girls, but doesn't mean anything. We've reached the last part of the story, so to say, and even though it looks hopeless I will fix everything, I promise :P


	26. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was pretty productive in the past 24 hours, so here ya go.   
> Please try to ignore the logic mistake in the last chapter (if you found it), and all the other mistakes. I have no beta to look over the chapters, so every mistake you find is mine :) Thanks for reading guys, you're awesome!

Chapter 25

 

 

Slowly Emma sat down at the edge of the bed. Today, she felt a little depressed. There was no real reason, it just happened from time to time. Her thoughts jumped into the past. It had been so long since Emma had bumped into her and fell to the ground. When she held out his hand, smiled at Emma and stole her heart. A single tear silently rolled over Emma’s cheek, which she quickly wiped away. She hasn’t cried for a long time … the pain fades away with every past year. The external pain that is.

The pain in Emma’s soul, however, will never go away. For that the love she felt was still too strong. She had seen her whole world in those chocolate brown eyes, the very same chocolate brown eyes that sleepily smiled up to her. Emma brushed his prince’s hair out of his face and laid her hand on his cheek.

“Time to get up, sleepy head,” Emma said gently.

“Just a little more, mommy.”

A smile spread across Emma’s face. How many times did she have the exact same scene with her mother, may she rest in peace. Pressing a kiss on her son’s head, the blonde gently pulled the blanket off of him. “Henry, I’ve made pancakes. Don’t you smell it?”

He raised his head, and after a few seconds the smell of fresh pancakes reached his nose. A bright though still sleepy smile spread on his face. Emma lived for that smile. It made her happy, but sometimes – like today – it felt like a stab on her heart. He had the same eyes and the same smile as her. If Regina had been a man, there would have been no doubt who the father of her child was. She knew it was impossible, she knew that maybe she was just seeing things. Maybe she just saw what she wanted to see. But there was this feeling. The feeling that told her that this beautiful, little kid was the product of love. Of true love.

Yawning, Henry sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was a sweet kid and for his almost five years way too smart for his own good. “Mommy, where is dad?” Henry asked her, tearing her out of her daydreams.

“At work,” Emma answered. Or with one of his whores, the blonde thought.

After her mother’s death, the shock of Regina leaving and her pregnancy, Emma really thought that Killian could change. He had been very attentive during her pregnancy, he worried about her. He helped Emma with everything, fulfilled every single unspoken wish of her. Just a few weeks after Henry’s birth, however, he was the same as before. I refused to sleep with him, so he found intimacy elsewhere.

Most of Storybrooke’s residents saw Emma for a weak and stupid girl for staying with Killian. And yeah, probably that was the case, though no one knew how many times she had thought of divorce during the past five years. One time she even found a job. Everything was prepared. She had been out the file the divorce when she got the call from Granny that she couldn’t hire her. Emma had been devastated but she hadn’t give up. For days she searched for a new job, something that was enough for a tiny apartment for Henry and her. But she didn’t find anything. No one wanted to hire her. After a week of desperate search Emma found out why – Queen Cora. She had threaten to take away people’s business if they gave Emma Swan a job. Which was probably Killian’s doing. And just like that, Emma’s dream to have an independent life with her son … it shattered.

She was trapped, had nowhere to go. Now, after five years of a loveless marriage, Emma had enough. The blonde knew that she couldn’t spend the rest of her life like that. Henry was the one who kept her head over water, who helped her to get through the past years. She had to change her life for her and for her son’s sake. Emma was sure she could stay with Neal and Tamara until she figured out what to do next.

Emma would wait after Killian’s birthday party tomorrow night … and then she would finally do what she should have done years ago. It was time for a divorce.

 

The next evening couldn’t come any faster. Emma was standing in front of her mirror and was about the zip her dress close when Henry stormed through the door. Emma laughed out loud. “Just in time, huh?”

“Yes, yes!” Henry said excited. “I can do it, I can do it. Crunch down, mommy.” His goofy smile was on place as Emma did as he said. He reached out and pulled the zipper up. “I did it!”

“Yay, you did! You like helping mommy to get dressed?”

He nodded furiously, and started playing with his car again. In about half an hour the house would be full of guests. Killian’s family would be here. Neal and Tamara, Ruby and Graham, lots of friend of Killian … even Queen Cora herself would grace the party with her presence. Her stepfather though wasn’t invited. Emma hadn’t spoken to him for the past years, and if she was being honest she didn’t feel the urge to. Bae though, her little brother, he was doing well. Soon he would start working as an officer. Their relationship had improved after Mary Margaret’s death, and Emma was grateful for that.

“Mommy, lipstick?” Henry pulled her out of her thoughts. The boy handed her the lipstick and waited until Emma put it on. “You are beautiful, mommy,” he then said.

“Ow, so I’m just beautiful when I put on lipstick?” Emma said in mock hurt.

Henry gasped. “No, no, mommy! You are beautiful always! I love you, mommy.”

“Thank you, handsome. I love you, too.”  

Henry grinned brightly, showing his little teeth. He hugged Emma tightly and then pressed a kiss on her mouth. Within a heartbeat, Emma’s eyes became glassy. A lump formed in her throat. In moments like this, she really was happy. Henry was the meaning of her life, the reason she woke up every morning.

“Don’t cry, mommy,” Henry said, and wiped her tears away.

Emma hated herself for seriously considering an abortion. For almost killing her child. Shaking off the dark thoughts, Emma kissed Henry’s chubby little fingers, and just seconds later the doorbell rang. Henry took off, leaving Emma alone in her room. The blonde took a moment to gather herself. Her thoughts though automatically wandered to Regina. There had been no sign of her. No call. No message. Nothing. The disappointment about that still sat deep, but Emma had learned to accept it. She hadn’t any other choice, really. That’s how life is … sometimes it sucks. Emma opened her drawer and took out a small box. Without hesitation she put on the necklace Regina had given her. The small swan with the crown on it reminded her so much of their happy times together, it hurt. The necklace was the only thing she had left of her. Sighing, Emma prepared herself for the upcoming hours.

 

Hours passed. Everyone was having a good time … well, except Emma but she kept her façade. Cora got on her nerves. The Queen was constantly shooting daggers in her direction, and if anyone would catch her the old woman would put on a fake smile. The woman blamed her for Regina’s going and hated her since then with all her might.

“Emma, darling, you should smile a bit more,” the Queen said.

The blonde just put on a fake smile herself, grabbed her glass of champagne and sipped on it. It was late, Henry was already in bed, and the party was almost over. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Glad to get an excuse to leave the room, she stood up. “I got it,” she said, and left the room without putting the glass down. The blonde thought it was Killian’s brother since he said he would come by later. But no, as Emma opened the door there wasn’t standing Killian’s brother. Shocked, the glass slipped out of the blonde’s hand. It fall to the floor where it shattered into a thousand little pieces.

Emma was standing there, with mouth agape, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. She had to be dreaming. It was just a dream, right? Regina was standing right in front of her. Emma’s breath caught in her throat. Their eyes locked. Brown met green, and even though five years had passed, it seemed as it was yesterday that they looked in each other’s eyes. Neither of them lowered their gaze.

“Hello …” Regina finally broke the silence. “You’re looking good,” the brunette whispered.

Emma was frozen in the spot. She was unable to move, unable to get a clear thought.  “You’re hair. It’s longer,” Emma said instead.

Regina touched her now shoulder long hair and shrugged. “Yes, it is. You changed your perfume.”

The blonde pressed her lips tightly together. It felt weird that Regina noticed that. She hadn’t more time to think about that thought, since her heartbeat tripled up as she heard footsteps approaching. “Who is it?” she heard Killian’s voice. “Who … Regina? Regina! For God’s sake, where the hell were you?” Everything inside and outside Emma was spinning. She held onto the door with one hand while she tried to recover from this unexpected shock. Killian walked past her and took his stepsister in a bear hug. “Finally you show up again, we missed you!”

“Couldn’t miss your 30th birthday now, could I? You are getting old, Killian,” Regina said and smiled.

She smiled. God, this smile, Emma thought. She had missed it so much. As Killian noticed the broken glass he shot Emma a quick glance. “Slipped out of my hand as I opened the door,” Emma lied. Well, it wasn’t really a lie, but Emma’s body trembled nonetheless. Thank God Killian had a few drinks into his system and he didn’t notice her nervousness.

“Clean up that mess,” he said, before he led Regina into the living room.

Emma remained standing in the floor. She could hear how the others greeted Regina, happy to see her again. Laughter filled the house, and Emma couldn’t bear it. She grabbed her keys, slipped into her ballerinas, and left the house on shaky legs. The blonde ran through the darkness of the night. She ran and ran until she her chest burned. Coming to a hold, she held onto a tree until she could breathe again. Emma’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, her lips quivered, and then she felt the first tear running down her cheek, followed by many others. There were thousands of questions in her head, and goddamn it, she needed answers.

 

It took Emma a few minutes to gather herself and calm down. One last time she massaged her throbbing temples, before she opened the front door. She hadn’t even got the chance to close the door properly as the Queen appeared in front of her.

“Needed some fresh air, dear?” the Queen asked, knowingly.

“Why do you care?”

“Oh, I don’t.”

“Then what the hell do you want from me?” Emma hissed, her hands turning to fists.

Cora’s eyes wandered to Emma’s hands. The old woman chuckled. “Someone’s angry.”

Shaking her head, Emma decided that it wasn’t worth it. She walked past her through the hallway, not even looking at the direction of the living room instead walking directly to her son’s bedroom. A few feet were left to reach the door as suddenly black haze appeared before Emma. The blonde gritted her teeth.

“I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t misunderstood my daughter’s return. That that mind and that heart of yours won’t start hoping again.” She the words so calmly, so cold, it made Emma sick.

“You are an awful person, Cora.”

At that, the smirk on the old woman’s face disappeared. In the blink of an eye, Emma felt a hand around her throat. “That is your majesty for you, dear,” Cora hissed. Emma felt the woman’s breath on her face, but she didn’t back down. To be honest, she had no way to back down, since Cora squeezed harder. “Regina … she has a bright and powerful future ahead of her. She has a destiny to fulfil, a place … my place to take. With the power that lays in her, she is going to be the Queen of all realms. And you, Emma Swan, won’t get in the way of that. You won’t get in the way of Regina’s and my relationship, not again.”

The silence that followed stretched uncomfortably. Emma refused to even blink.

“Is that understood, Miss Swan?” Again, Emma refused to back down. Cora shook her head and chuckled. “I got to say, I’m impressed … seems like a do have to remind you that you’re not alone anymore.” Cora shot a quick glance over her shoulder at the closed door … behind which Emma’s son was sleeping sound and safe. “Again, you won’t get between Regina and I. Is that clear, my dear?”

Emma gulped. “Yes.”

Cora increased the hold against her throat once more and raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, your majesty,” Emma said quietly.

Satisfied, the Queen let go of her and let her through. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Emma collapsed onto the floor. Sobbing, she pressed her hand against her mouth as not the wake up Henry who lay sleeping in his bed. Why? That’s all Emma wanted to know. Why did Regina come back after all those years? Why did she have to turn Emma’s world upside down, once again. Especially now, when it already was complicated enough, and she finally had found the courage to end this marriage. Would the horror start all over again? No, Emma thought, she couldn’t … she wouldn’t let that happen.    

As Henry stirred, Emma stood up. Her boy threw the blanket aside and turned around. Carefully, Emma took the blanket and covered him again. She was exhausted, and somehow she had to be near her son tonight. That’s why she gently lied down beside him. The blonde softly caressed her son’s hair. She would to anything to make sure he was safe. Anything. Emma’s eyelids suddenly felt heavy, and soon enough she fell into a deep sleep.

 

The next morning, Emma knew she was alone with Henry as soon as she opened her eyes. She got up carefully, making sure Henry still was asleep. Leaving his room, the blonde took a quick shower and changed into jogging pants and a top. Her hair was still wet as she went to the kitchen and made coffee. She sat down and got lost in thoughts once again as she sipped on her coffee. Emma didn’t even notice that she was playing with her necklace.

She just didn’t get it. What did Regina want? Why did she come back? Why now? And the most important question, what did she want from Emma? The question were making her dizzy. She needed the answers, and she would get them sooner as she expected as suddenly there was a knock. Annoyed by the early disruption, she got up. Without looking through the peephole, Emma yanked the door open. Her mind went black instantly.

Bewildered by Regina’s sudden appearance, Emma just stared blankly at her for a few seconds. Her pulse shot up in a record time. Then her instincts kicked in and she was about to close the door, but Regina reacted faster than her, pushing a feet between it.

“Get out!” Emma said with a hoarse voice.

“We need to talk,” Regina whispered back.

“There is nothing to talk about!” Emma tried in vain to close the door. She didn’t want to. She couldn’t! How would her heart endure that? How?

“Please, Emma … please,” Regina pleaded.

Something about her voice and the way Regina said her name, made Emma stop. Silence followed. Silence, broken only by our panting. Emma let go of the door and took a few steps back, making room for Regina to enter. Which she did. Carefully, the brunette let the door softly fall into the lock. When their gazes met and Emma noticed Regina’s tear-filled brown eyes, the blonde took in a sharp breath. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest. What was happening, for God’s sake?

“I missed you so much,” Regina broke the silence at last.

She spoke quietly, but Emma heard the longing in her words nonetheless. Regina approached her with small steps, while Emma automatically stumbled backwards until her back hit the wall. Dead end! There she was standing, with her back against the wall as she tried to control the trembling body.


	27. Info

Hey guys!

First of all, this is not a new chapter. 

I'm so very sorry that there weren't any updates in the past months. I don't wanna make it long but I had/have a really really tough time since November. The worst is that the situation may last for a long time. 

HOWEVER ... I will absolutely, totally, definitely finish this story! 

Stay tuned and follow the story to get notifications! 


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